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    Category: Wild & Unruly

    Guaranteed Room For Improvement

    | USA | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Hotels & Lodging, Wild & Unruly

    (I am checking in a guest. I do the usual: swipe his card, and make the keys.)

    Me: “Here are your keys, sir. Please sign this registration card.”

    Guest: “No problem!” *signs with a flourish and takes keys*

    (The computer beeps, and shows that his card was declined.)

    Me: “Uh, excuse me? Sir? Sir?”

    Guest: *looks over at me while walking away*

    Me: “Your card was declined. Do you have another?”

    Guest: *blank stare* “No.”

    Me: “Well, I’m afraid that I can’t let you have the room unless you give us another method of payment.”

    (I hold my hand out for the keys. The guest clutches them to his chest keeps walking away, faster this time.)

    Me: “Sir, please give me back the keys.”

    Guest: “No! I made a reservation… therefore… I am guaranteed a room! Guaranteed!” *runs off*

    (The guest disappeared in the elevator before I could catch him, and was in his room in a flash. He set the deadbolt and ignored all calls and knocks. Finally the authorities had to BREAK down the door to the room and he was hauled away, yelling that he was ‘guaranteed’ a room and that he would complain to corporate. He did, and was charged for the cost of a new door.)

    Suffering A Bipolar Vortex

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Canada, Wild & Unruly

    (I am from California but am visiting some family in Toronto. It’s late December and extremely cold. I’m at a liquor store with my cousin when the customer behind me notices my California ID.)

    Customer: “You’re a long way from home! What brings you out here?”

    Me: “I’m visiting some family.”

    Customer: “What do you think about the weather?”

    Me: “It’s actually quite refreshing. It’s nice having a change of scenery but I don’t think I could do this all the time.”

    Customer: *huffy* “Well, it’s not like this all the time! It’s only cold for about five months! How dare you assume that, you ignorant American!”

    Me: “No, no, no. Of course I know it’s not cold year round. I meant that I personally couldn’t deal with the winter months every year!”

    Customer: “You lying b****! You’re just trying to cover your a**! You stupid Americans think we just live in igloos. I know your type!”

    Me: “I promise you I don’t think that it’s this cold year round. I’ve come to visit many times in the summer.”

    Customer: “Stupid American b****!”

    (My cousin and I just walk away while she continues to hurl insults at me.)

    Going To Great Pains

    | NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

    (I work as a nurse for outpatient procedures. A patient has come in for a not-very-painful procedure, and has already received all of the drugs that we can safely give her for pain. This amount would have had a normal person sleeping by now.)

    Patient: *screaming like she’s being tortured*

    Me: “Oh, sweetheart, I know this is hard.”

    (I put my hand in hers.)

    Me: “Here. Try and breathe, and squeeze my hand.”

    (She throws my hand away from her.)

    Patient: “I don’t want your f****** hand. I WANT MY GODD*** DRUGS!”

    Not Quite The Picture Perfect Finish

    | Orem, UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

    (Our studio is in a mall. I’m the photographer in a sitting with a young child. The child is throwing a tantrum, crying and screaming, while the mother stands next to me doing nothing.)

    Me: “Sometimes when kids won’t cooperate, we suggest taking a break. There’s a candy store right next to us or the toy store is right across the hall.”

    Mother: “I don’t want to wait any longer to get these photos done. Just take the photo.”

    Me: “We could get you right in when you come back. You wouldn’t have to wait again. Sometimes kids just need a quick distraction to calm down.”

    (The kid is currently in full meltdown mode.)

    Mother: “Just take the photo so I can purchase a package and go home.”

    (Without even looking at the child, I snap a photo. The image comes up on the screen: the child is mid-tantrum, red-faced and screaming. I turn to the mother, deadpan.)

    Me: “How’s that?”

    Mother: “… The candy store is right next to you?”

    In Line And Out Of Line, Part 3

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Wild & Unruly

    (Today is a busy weekend. I’m working checkout and there is a huge line waiting. In the middle of one of my transactions, a woman cuts everyone in line. The people in line are visibly agitated but just let it go.)

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am. I cannot check you out. These customers have been waiting in line patiently for their turn. Please go wait like everyone else.”

    Customer: “I’m in a hurry. Please, can you make an exception just this once?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but it just wouldn’t be fair for everyone else in line. Please wait for your turn.”

    (After I say this, the customer’s mood quickly swings from a cheery to angry.)

    Customer: “This store should treat their customers better! I’m giving them all my hard earned money. You know what? F*** this place and everyone here! You people are f******* idiots! I’m going to shop at [Competitor]!” *storms out without her items*

    (As she turns her back and storms off, almost everyone in line, and even some people in other lines, flip her off in unison.)

    Related:
    In Line And Out Of Line, Part 2
    In Line And Out Of Line


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