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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Wild & Unruly

    A Time For Giving (A Piece Of Your Mind)

    | Newark, DE, USA | Holidays, Religion, Themed Giveaway, Wild & Unruly

    (I’ve gone to pick up a few things. I am in the line for the register when I hear someone yelling. Since I’m a curious person and the store isn’t very busy, I leave with my cart to see what’s going on. I soon see a woman in her 30s lecturing a boy in his teens who works in the store.)

    Customer: “People like you disgust me! Not everyone is Christian! You shouldn’t tell people to celebrate something from a faith they don’t believe in! F*** you and your ‘Merry Christmas!’ religious erasure!”

    (The employee is clearly overwhelmed. He’s been very sweet in helping me in the past so, against my better judgment, I step in.)

    Me: “Even if you aren’t Christian, it’s still nice to hear that someone wants you to have a good holiday. Peace on Earth, goodwill towards man, not erasure. If you even bothered to talk to this guy for more than a few seconds you’d know how nice he is. He just wants you to have a good holiday season, lady.”

    Customer: “You, too! You’re just as rude and disgusting as this brat. I bet you and him go around thumping gays with bibles to turn them straight! I’m going to report the both of you!”

    Me: “Lady, I’m agnostic. That means I accept the fact that we don’t know for sure if there is a God or not. As such, I should just be the best person I can be because it’s the right thing to do. I love Christmas time. It’s full of love for everyone and it’s a time for family and friends to all come together. It’s full of people doing good for each other. If you don’t like people wishing you a good holiday just because of the religion that celebrates the holiday, you’re just as bigoted as the people who really do want erasure. Also, I’m bi. So I wouldn’t go around ‘thumping’ anyone for their sexuality.”

    (The customer sputters for a minute before storming off with her cart. The employee looks at me after a few seconds to calm himself down.)

    Employee: “I only said it because she said she was planning Christmas dinner…”

    Preorder Disorder

    | Wichita, KS, USA | At The Checkout, Holidays, Themed Giveaway, Wild & Unruly

    (It is mid December. I am purchasing Christmas gifts for my niece and nephew. I have just found out from their father that they want a specific toy which has been popular. A local big-box store has a sale on them. I order online and enter the store on my lunch break to pick them up.)

    Employee: “Here are your items. Please make sure they are what you ordered online.”

    (I pick up the toys and inspect them. As I am looking at the one for my niece, a customer appears from nowhere and attempts to snatch the toy from my hands.)

    Customer: “Hey! That’s the toy I have been looking for! They are out of stock on the shelf. I need to buy it now!”

    (The cashier takes toy from me so the customer will stop grabbing for it.)

    Cashier: “Madam, he has already purchased this online and is picking it up. I’d be happy to—”

    Customer: “No! I was here first and that toy should be mine! He just came and you gave it to him. He hasn’t even paid! He’s cheating! He cut in line!”

    Cashier: “Please calm down. I’m sure we can order one or find you one at another store. He has already purchased this one so we cannot sell it to you.”

    Customer: “LIAR! He’s a cheater and you are too! Get me your manager now so I can buy this toy for my baby!”

    (At this point the customer is yelling loudly and has drawn the attention of the entire front of the store. The manager is already on his way over.)

    Manager: “Madam, I’m sorry for the upset. What is the problem?”

    Customer: “Your employee is cheating! This man just came in the store and she is handing him the toy that I have been looking for. He hasn’t even paid for it. I demand you sell me this toy and not give it to this cheater!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry but he has ordered this online and is now picking it up. I’d be happy to—”

    (In the meantime, the cashier has placed the toys in a bag and quietly hands them to me while waving for me to go. I hurry towards the door.)

    Customer: *starts trying to get past the manager* “There he goes! He is stealing my baby’s toy! He cut in line and he’s a CHEATER! A CHEATER!”

    (I hurry out the door hearing her screams as I hurry to my car. I hope she calmed down and got her toy. I hadn’t seen that kind of crazy since I last dared to go to a Black Friday sale.)

    He’s Furbious

    | Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Holidays, Spouses & Partners, Themed Giveaway, Wild & Unruly

    (I am working the register in the store where we sell electronics including toys, like Furbies, robot dogs, etc. A scruffy-looking customer comes in, followed moments later by twenty-something woman and her boyfriend. The couple begin looking at tablets, when the woman spots our Furbies.)

    Woman: “Oh look, Furbies. They’re so cute! These must be new ones. They have digital eyes! They’re smaller than mine, too. Hey, Furby!”

    (She starts to have a silly conversation with the Furby. Her genuine excitement is pretty adorable. I exchange an appreciative smile with her boyfriend as she chatters away. Suddenly, the scruffy customer storms over to them and grabs the Furby, throwing it hard to the ground. I come running.)

    Boyfriend: “What the h*** are you doing?!”

    Me: “Excuse me. If that Furby is broken, I’ll need you to pay for the damage. Now, please back off.”

    Scruffy Customer: *aiming abuse at the woman* “F*** the lot of you! She was doing my head in. The stupid little b**** is acting like a kid. Are you special?! Did you get out early from your special school, *****? People like you f*** off! I f****** hate people like you when I’m trying to f****** buy stuff!”

    (The woman is clearly speechless and her eyes are watering. Her boyfriend is livid and yells at the guy. I quickly pick up the Furby to check it’s not broken. The guy starts flailing his arms and tells the boyfriend that he’s going to ‘do him in.’)

    Me: “Get out now, mate. You’ve threatened violence to my customers, and us three are witnesses. I’ll call the police right now. Leave.”

    Scruffy Customer: “Aye. Well, **** you too you, cow. Both you f***s!”

    (The boyfriend suddenly grabs the scruffy customer by the collar and turfs him out of the shop. The scruffy customer clearly gets a fright at the boyfriend’s strength and runs for it, cursing all the way down the street.)

    Me: “I’m so sorry about that guy. What a moron. Are you guys okay?”

    (The woman nods, crying a little, and her boyfriend cuddles her.)

    Boyfriend: “I couldn’t take any more of that. She has Asperger’s, and sometimes can seem a bit childish to people who don’t know her. Thanks for trying to help.”

    Me: “Ah. No problem. I hate seeing anyone get hassled by an idiot like him. Hey, I’m going to log this Furby as being smashed by a customer. I’d have to bin it, so you can just take it if you want.”

    Woman: “Oh, no. That’s okay. I don’t want you to get in trouble. There are security cameras in here and you could get into bother for being seen doing that.”

    Me: “Nah. My boss is more like a mate. He’d understand if it came up. Trust me. Here. It sounds like you struck a bond with it, anyway!”

    (We all laugh and chat for a little while longer before they leave with their new Furby. Two days later I came in to work to find a Christmas card had been left for me, by them, as well as a £15 gift card with a note saying my lunch was on them for being so nice!)

    Shouldn’t Sweater Over It

    | Newcastle, England, UK | Holidays, Liars & Scammers, Themed Giveaway, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m looking for a popular Christmas jumper (sweater) and have finally found one in my size. It is the last one in the store and I have put it in my trolley. I’m just browsing around the other clothes when a customer looks into my trolley and takes the jumper.)

    Me: “Excuse me, but what are you doing?”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “That jumper was in my trolley. I’m buying it.”

    Customer: “No. It wasn’t. I’ve just got this off the rail! Stop hassling me!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I just WATCHED YOU take it out of my trolley and put it into your basket. Can you please give it back so I can go and buy it?”

    Customer: “No. It’s not your colour. Anyway, I didn’t take it out of your trolley.”

    Me: “Okay. There is an easy way of solving this. Why don’t we go and visit security and get them to look at the camera? If you took it out of my trolley then you give it back. If you didn’t and I was mistaken I will pay for the jumper for you as an apology. How does that sound?”

    Customer: “HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF BEING A THIEF YOU F*****G SKANK!”

    Me: “Right. I’ve had enough of this now. I came here just for that jumper.”

    (I grab it out of the basket. The customer walks away, muttering loudly.)

    Customer: “Such a b****. Ruining Christmas for me!”

    Dog-Gone Cruelty Will Make Your Dogs Gone

    | IA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Pets & Animals, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a shelter, mostly doing paperwork. To drop off an animal with us there is a $20 surrender fee. This information is posted right on the door. People often try to get around the fee. They will either tie animals to the front door, leave them in a box, or take them around back and drop them over the five-foot high fence surrounding the exercise yard. One morning a member of staff finds two fluffy toy breeds wandering around the yard. One is limping, presumably from the drop. Any stray not claimed in two weeks is spayed/neutered, health checked, given shots, then placed up for adoption. These two are not claimed and are quickly adopted into new homes. Five weeks after they have been dropped off…)

    Customer: “I’m here to pick up my dogs.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. Can you tell me, what is the name on your application papers?”

    Customer: “Oh, I didn’t fill any of those out last time I was here. I was in too big of a hurry. Just tell me what the cost is so I can get my dogs and go home.”

    Me: “Okay. Why don’t you go to the back and look at the dogs. I’ll get the paperwork started then?”

    (In a few minutes, the customer comes storming back.)

    Customer: “WHERE ARE MY DOGS?! What kind of boarding kennel is this, giving away my dogs?”

    Me: “I’m not understanding you, ma’am. What do you mean?”

    Customer: “The lady back there said my dogs aren’t here. I dropped off two [toy breed] dogs five weeks ago when I went on vacation and now they are gone. Where are they?”

    (A light clicks. I realize she is talking about the two abandoned toy breeds that were found in our yard. I try to explain that we are not a boarding kennel, what happened to them, and that they had been given new homes. The customer does not want to listen to anything I have to say. After screaming obscenities at me for a good ten minutes, she turns and leaves. She returns later with a police officer in tow.)

    Customer: “Her, there behind the desk. I dropped my dogs off here at the boarding kennel. They made my dogs useless by fixing them and then sold them. I demand that you arrest her for damage of property and theft! This is the worst boarding kennel I have ever seen.”

    Me: “Ma’am, again, this is not a boarding kennel. We—”

    Customer: “Shut it. I don’t want to hear it, you stupid b****!”

    Me: “If you will excuse us for one minute, we will see what we can do.”

    (Motioning to the officer, I manage to get him alone in the back office. I show him the video feed of the two dogs being dropped over the fence. I make him a quick copy of the video and send him off with it. We return to the front.)

    Officer: “Ma’am, will you come with me down to the station, please?”

    (The customer smirks at me until the officer takes her by the arm and leads her to the back of his car.)

    Customer: “What are you doing? I want my dogs back! Arrest her, not me!”

    (They drive off. Later I found out that she was charged with animal cruelty for dropping them over the fence and letting them get hurt when she did, animal neglect for simply dropping them off and not making sure they would be cared for, and two counts of contempt of court for yelling at and spitting on the judge for siding with ‘that d*** boarding kennel.’)


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