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    Category: Wild & Unruly

    More Thanks-taking Than Thanksgiving

    | Kansas City, Mo, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Holidays, Wild & Unruly

    (I am working in a grocery store meat department on Thanksgiving day stocking the hams and turkeys as fast as I can. I have just announced over the speaker that we have five fresh, unfrozen turkeys left, and we are waiting for the rush of people to get them. When there is only one left, predictably two customers grab for it.)

    Customer #1: “Hey, this is mine. I saw it before you did.”

    Customer #2: “No way! I walked all the way across the store to get it. It’s mine! I’m going home with it.”

    Customer #1: “Why don’t you get a ham or something? I need this turkey for my dinner tonight. You can get something else.”

    Customer #2: “Listen, you fat cow, you can buy the f****** ham. I’m getting this turkey.”

    (At this point I figure I’d better get involved and run over.)

    Me: “Ladies, we do have fresh turkey breasts available as well as hams and ducks. There are even a couple of geese leftover—”

    Customer #2: “F*** you! I’m getting this d*** turkey and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

    (Customer #2 then shoves her cart into the other woman, causing her to fall into the display of stuffing next to her, and runs off with the turkey. Hoping it’s over, I go to help the other customer up, but she slaps my hand, gets to her feet, and tackles the other customer. I call security. Before they can get there I see that Customer #3 has spotted Customer #1′s now abandoned cart and purse. She runs over and dumps Customer #1′s purse into her own and then grabs just about everything out of her cart including a bag of prescription medication, before running off. I shout at her but she disappears into a crowd of people. Customers #1 and #2 are now rolling on the floor in the bread aisle while security is trying to pull them apart. While this goes on, Customer #4 approaches Customer #2′s cart and grabs the turkey and most everything in her cart. Security eventually pulls them apart and they are both arrested. Sadly, Customer #3, who stole Customer #1′s purse, is never caught as the cart was in a blind spot.)

    A Bona-Fido Law

    | Orem, UT, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Pets & Animals, Wild & Unruly

    (I stop by the store on my way to work. A customer is causing quite a scene, while a manager is trying to deal with her.)

    Customer: “I won’t leave my dog outside! Do you know how cold it is out there? What about cruelty to animals!?”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am. You should have left him at home. He cannot come in the store.”

    Customer: “Leave him alone? That’s even more cruel!”

    (At that point, I’d about had it, as had several other people. I, however, had recently been researching the city’s laws and ordinances regarding animals.)

    Me: “Excuse me. But did you know, as per city ordinance, article 5-3, it is ‘unlawful for any person to take or permit any dog, whether loose or on a leash or in arms, in or about any establishment or place of business where food or food products are sold or displayed, including… grocery stores?’ The only exceptions are seeing-eye dogs, hearing dogs, and dogs owned by government agencies. As your dog obviously does not meet any of those qualifications, what you are attempting to do is illegal. Do I really need to call the police, or will you leave and take your dog with you?”

    Customer: “Well, I never!” *she storms out, dog in arms*

    Manager: “Thank you, ma’am.”

    Me: “No trouble. What a moron. I don’t even have a cell phone.”

    Outside Voice, Waiting Outside

    | Canada | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I have just transferred down the road to another shop in our coffee chain, after the one I used to work at cut down on its employees. It is very busy. A man walks up to the drink counter, takes a drink, and walks away. All of a sudden, a customer who had been sitting at a table runs up towards one of my coworkers and starts yelling.)

    Customer: “I’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting and you f****** haven’t made my drink! This is f****** horrible service! I have a f****** meeting in a few minutes, and I need my f****** coffee!”

    Coworker: “Sorry, but the order list says that we did make your drink. Are you sure it’s not up there?” *gestures to the table full of drinks*

    Customer: “OF COURSE I’M SURE! I think that you’re f****** ignoring me! That or you drank my drink. B****, make me another drink or I’ll sue! This is s***** customer service. You should be f****** fired!”

    (At this point my coworker is at the verge of tears. She is new, and just old enough to get a job.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but didn’t you do this at the other [Coffee Shop] down the street? I distinctly remember you yelling at us for not making your drink while your boyfriend waited outside with the exact same drink in his hand.”

    (Sure enough, when we looked out the window the same man was out there, holding the drink.)

    Customer: *turns beet red, stammers something, and runs off*

    Good Things Come To Those Who Wait On

    | England, UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (It is my first ever shift at my first ever job. The restaurant I work in is known as a ‘Halfway Point’ as we’re between two towns. We get a lot of tourists and that night have been busy. I’d just given a customer his meal.)

    Me: “Here we are, sir. One [Meal] for yourself and a [Meal] for the lovely lady! Is there anything else I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I wanna know why it’s taken 40 f****** minutes for my meal to get here!”

    (Note: Even though I had only just started, I knew there hadn’t been more than a 15-minute wait for meals, and with 68 tables full that was very fast.)

    Me: *a little frightened, but trying to stay calm* “I- I’m very sorry for your wait, sir. I hope you understand we’re very busy. I- I’ll even s-see if I can get you both a free drink to make up for wait.”

    Customer: “I don’t give a s*** about that. I want to know why you’re so f****** useless, you f****** b****! Look at you. You’re a f****** w****! Take my order right next time, c***!”

    Me: “I- I’m very s-sorry, s-sir. I’ll b-be r-right back with my m-manager for you!”

    (At this point I run into the kitchen and staff area crying from the string of abuse I’d just been given. Luckily, my manager and my brother, also on shift with me, both see me, and after a quick explanation they nod and tell me to join them with the customer. We all walk to the customer’s table.)

    Manager: “Hello, sir. I’m going to have to ask you to pay and leave my restaurant immediately.”

    Customer: “What!? I haven’t even eaten yet! Your staff made me wait nearly an hour for my order. It’s cold!”

    Manager: “I am aware you haven’t eaten yet, sir, and your food is most certainly not cold as there was barely even a 15 minute wait on food. I will not tolerate you abusing my staff, who also happens to be the younger sister of this gentleman here.” *points to my brother*

    Brother: *smiling and folding his arms* “We both know you wouldn’t like the option of you refusing to pay, sir. Also, you made her cry. She started this very job only 10 minutes before serving you, so I recommend you do as [Manager] asks!”

    (Thankfully, the customer quickly abandons his meal, pays up, and drags his girlfriend out with him! Later, the customer’s girlfriend comes back in.)

    Customer’s Girlfriend: *walks up to my brother at the bar* “Hi, I was in here earlier. I wanted to apologise for my boyfriend’s behaviour earlier.”

    Brother: “Thank you very much. [My Name] will feel a lot better hearing that later. She has Asperger’s and taking this job is a very big step for her. She can take things as personal attacks.”

    Customer’s Girlfriend: “I’m so sorry! Please tell her he ended up walking home after tonight! Please give her a big hug from me!”

    (The best part? The customer’s girlfriend insisted on giving a £50 tip! I shared it between all my coworkers and we ended up having a nice dinner after close and a drink each! I left that job a couple of months later after fracturing a hip but continue to be a regular there. I usually buy them all a round of drinks for helping me get through that first night!)

    His Excuse Is A Total Cop Out

    | SC, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

    (I work for security in a very rural hospital and am dealing with a very unruly patient who isn’t allowed to leave due to medication he has taken.)

    Me: “Sir, I just want to make you aware that because of the medications you have taken, for your safety, I need you to go back inside and call a ride to pick you up.”

    Patient: “F*** you! I’m an adult! I’ll do what i want!”

    Me: “Sir, I understand that you don’t feel well, and I’m trying to be nice to you. So, will you please return to the ER?”

    Patient: “F*** YOU!”

    (I notify my partner of the incident and the police are called to deal with the individual. As we await the police, the patient comes back to the ER lobby and confronts the very outspoken desk clerk who has no idea what is going on.)

    Patient: “WHO SENT THAT RENT-A-COP OUTSIDE TO WATCH ME LIKE A CHILD?!”

    Desk Clerk: “Can I help you?”

    Patient: “I want to speak to the rent-a-cop who followed me to my vehicle to watch me like I’m some three-year-old! I’ll have him know that I’m very good friends with the owner of his company and I’ve been a security guard for over 10 years!”

    Desk Clerk: “Well, sir, wouldn’t that make you a rent-a-cop, too?”

    Patient: “That’s not the same!”

    (As the patient is leaving, he has one more question.)

    Patient: “Hey, man. I would like to apologize for the behavior. It was the meds talking. But I do have a question.”

    Me: “What’s that?”

    Patient: “Are y’all hiring?”


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