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    Category: Wild & Unruly

    Not A Shred Of Intelligence

    , | Orange County, NY, USA | School, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (It’s finals week and a student approaches our help desk.)

    Student: “Your copy machine isn’t working. My papers wont come out.”

    Me: “It’s probably jammed. I’ll have my coworker fix that for you.”

    (My coworker follows the student to the copy machines. After a few minutes, the student runs by me in tears. My coworker comes back a few moments later.)

    Me: “What happened?!”

    Coworker: “She used the shredder instead of the copy machine.”

    Lighten My Load, Moisten My Road

    | Brisbane, Australia | Bigotry, Wild & Unruly

    (Our photo developing machine requires regular water refills, which we get by filling a 20 liter jug in the staff room and carrying it across the large sales floor back to the machine. Most of the staff fill it halfway or use a trolley, but it’s much quicker to just fill it all the way and carry it, which is what I do.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. I just need to squeeze past you for a moment.”

    Customer: *sees me carrying the 20 liter jug* “Oh my God! Do they make you carry that? That’s too heavy for a little girl like you!”

    Me: “It’s fine, ma’am. It’s only 20 kilos, and I’m only carrying it across the store. If you could just move to one side of the aisle, I’ll be able to put it down soon, too.”

    Customer: “But one of the boys should be doing that! A girl can’t carry all that! And you’re so tiny!”

    Me: “Well, I actually do this pretty regularly, so I guess it doesn’t really matter if I’m a girl or—”

    Customer: “Here!”

    (Without warning, she slams both her hands into the bottom of the jug so it hits me in the face. The jug sloshes water all over me, the aisle, and the jug, making it very slippery, and leaves me both bruised and uncomfortable.)

    Customer: “There! Now at least it’s a bit lighter.”

    Me: *speechless*

    Customer: “You’re welcome!”

    Cower Before My Shower Of Flowers

    | Ontario, Canada | Wild & Unruly

    (I am standing at the cash register of our store. A customer comes up and asks about our tulip bulbs, so I point them out and she goes over to them.)

    Customer: “Well, aren’t you going to help me count them out?

    Me: “Sure, ma’am, how many would you like?”

    Customer: “500, obviously. You can’t expect me to do that on my own!”

    Me: “Sure, ma’am, I’ll help you for the moment.”

    (As we reach the 200-tulip mark, three other customers finish their shopping and line up at the cash. I’m the only cashier, so I go to help.)

    Customer: “Hey! Where do you think you’re going?! I don’t have 500 yet!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I need to ring these people through. I’m the only cashier on duty. I can help you again once I’m finished.”

    Customer: “You b****! You said you would help me, and now you want to back out? I can’t believe this!”

    (Suddenly, the customer throws her bagged tulips onto the floor, scattering them everywhere. She then grabs handfuls of bulbs from the bin, throws them around the store, stands up, and marches out.)

    So Much For Spit & Run

    , | Copenhagen, Denmark | At The Checkout, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (In our store, all cash registers have a button that’ll ring a bell in out lunchroom and back room if a cashier is in danger. I hear the bell ring, and run out to find my boss, who has also run out to check on the cashier.)

    Boss: “What happened?”

    Cashier: “A customer threatened to beat me over short change, even though I gave him the correct change. He just left a second ago!”

    (My boss and I walk out the store and quickly spot the customer in question. He’s not hard to miss, as he’s now cursing at his wife.)

    Me: “Did you threaten my coworker?”

    Customer: “Yeah. So?!”

    Boss: “I’m gonna have to ask you to come back in with us so we can sort this out.”

    Customer: “F*** you!”

    (The customer runs across the road, so my boss and I run after him as quickly as possibly. We finally catch up with him on the park lawn on the other side of the road.)

    Boss: “[My name], grab his bags.”

    (Before I can react, my boss has tackled him from behind using an American football tackle and hammerlocked him before picking him up from the ground.)

    Customer: “When we get to the back room, I’m gonna punch your lights out!”

    Boss: “You’re welcome to try.”

    Customer: *shuts up*

    (We call the cops, and after a few minutes they get here. We explain everything as his wife pleads with the cops.)

    Cop: “We’re gonna let you off with a 300 kroner ticket if you apologize to every—”

    Customer: *spits on cop* “Screw you!”

    Cop: “…and now, you’re going to jail!”

    Weekend Roundup: When Customers Attack!

    , , , , | Not Always Right | Roundups, Wild & Unruly

    When Customers Attack! This week, we share stories of unruly customers who prefer (violent) action over words!

    1. Bull In A China Shop:
      Sticks & stones may break my bones, but naked, guitar-throwing customers can really hurt me!
    2. Acute Mental Failure:
      HULK CAN’T FIGURE OUT HOSPITAL DOOR! HULK SMASH!
    3. (Full) Front(al) Desk:
      Can’t check into your hotel room, lady? Just mentally check out by ripping off your clothes and running in circles!
    4. Fudge In Flight:
      A customer airs their fudge frustrations by sending their ice cream sundae airborne.
    5. Marriage: The Ultimate Slippery Slope:
      Here’s to throwing your belongings in the air like you just don’t care!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

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