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    Category: Wild & Unruly

    Breaking Peter To Fix Paul

    | Eden Prairie, MN, USA | Wild & Unruly

    (I work as a cashier at an electronics retailer. A customer walks up with a computer lapdesk that opens up so it can store small items. Normally, two clips hold these shut.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, one of the two clips is broken off.”

    Me: “Oh geez, I’m sorry! Do you wanna grab another one that’s not defective?”

    Customer: “Sure…” *leaves the broken lapdesk with me*

    (I give the broken one to a fellow cashier so they can take it back to the service desk and defect it out. Several minutes later, the customer returns.)

    Customer: *holding a new lapdesk* “Hey! Where’s the other lapdesk?”

    Me: “Oh, I gave it to customer service because it was defective. We can ring this up now—”

    Customer: “But I need the first one!

    Me: “Wait…why?”

    Customer: *holds up a lapdesk clip* “I broke one off the new one to put on the old one!”

    We Prefer Hipsters Over Hellcats

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Top, Wild & Unruly

    (A customer comes over to the small cosmetic service station that I am posted at. All the while, she’s talking on her phone and sounds quite upset.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am. What can I do for you today?”

    Customer: *to phone* “Sorry, got go.” *hangs up*

    Me: “Ma’am—”

    Customer: “SHUT UP YOU, D*** HIPSTER!”

    (Note: I’m wearing prescription Ray Bans and have a eyebrow piercing.)

    Me: “Uhm—”

    Customer: “You heard me the first time! Not another word! You probably don’t even need those glasses!”

    (Without warning, the customer rips the glasses from my face. She throws them on the ground, shattering the lenses.)

    Me: “Oh my God!”

    Customer: “Look! You are fine!”

    (My coworker comes over to see what all the commotion is about.)

    Coworker: “What is going on?”

    Customer: “This b**** was trying to look like a hipster!”

    Coworker: “Ma’am, she actually needed those to see. Now get out before I call security!”

    Customer: “F*** you! F***ing hipsters taking over!”

    (Enraged, the customer grabs a makeup display, tips it over, and starts throwing around items from a nearby shelf. Security rushes over and takes her out of the store while she screams profanities. The total damage cost is over $200 worth of products, not including my glasses.)

    Not A Shred Of Intelligence

    , | Orange County, NY, USA | School, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (It’s finals week and a student approaches our help desk.)

    Student: “Your copy machine isn’t working. My papers wont come out.”

    Me: “It’s probably jammed. I’ll have my coworker fix that for you.”

    (My coworker follows the student to the copy machines. After a few minutes, the student runs by me in tears. My coworker comes back a few moments later.)

    Me: “What happened?!”

    Coworker: “She used the shredder instead of the copy machine.”

    Lighten My Load, Moisten My Road

    | Brisbane, Australia | Bigotry, Wild & Unruly

    (Our photo developing machine requires regular water refills, which we get by filling a 20 liter jug in the staff room and carrying it across the large sales floor back to the machine. Most of the staff fill it halfway or use a trolley, but it’s much quicker to just fill it all the way and carry it, which is what I do.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. I just need to squeeze past you for a moment.”

    Customer: *sees me carrying the 20 liter jug* “Oh my God! Do they make you carry that? That’s too heavy for a little girl like you!”

    Me: “It’s fine, ma’am. It’s only 20 kilos, and I’m only carrying it across the store. If you could just move to one side of the aisle, I’ll be able to put it down soon, too.”

    Customer: “But one of the boys should be doing that! A girl can’t carry all that! And you’re so tiny!”

    Me: “Well, I actually do this pretty regularly, so I guess it doesn’t really matter if I’m a girl or—”

    Customer: “Here!”

    (Without warning, she slams both her hands into the bottom of the jug so it hits me in the face. The jug sloshes water all over me, the aisle, and the jug, making it very slippery, and leaves me both bruised and uncomfortable.)

    Customer: “There! Now at least it’s a bit lighter.”

    Me: *speechless*

    Customer: “You’re welcome!”

    Cower Before My Shower Of Flowers

    | Ontario, Canada | Wild & Unruly

    (I am standing at the cash register of our store. A customer comes up and asks about our tulip bulbs, so I point them out and she goes over to them.)

    Customer: “Well, aren’t you going to help me count them out?

    Me: “Sure, ma’am, how many would you like?”

    Customer: “500, obviously. You can’t expect me to do that on my own!”

    Me: “Sure, ma’am, I’ll help you for the moment.”

    (As we reach the 200-tulip mark, three other customers finish their shopping and line up at the cash. I’m the only cashier, so I go to help.)

    Customer: “Hey! Where do you think you’re going?! I don’t have 500 yet!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I need to ring these people through. I’m the only cashier on duty. I can help you again once I’m finished.”

    Customer: “You b****! You said you would help me, and now you want to back out? I can’t believe this!”

    (Suddenly, the customer throws her bagged tulips onto the floor, scattering them everywhere. She then grabs handfuls of bulbs from the bin, throws them around the store, stands up, and marches out.)


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