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    Category: Wild & Unruly

    Bad Parents Bug Us

    | Southern California, USA | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I am an intern giving a tour at my local zoo. The first stop is the butterfly & moth exhibit, where guests can go inside with animals. I give them the rules and instructions which include staying on the path/off the plants, no grabbing the animals, etc. Once we are inside, I see two children, approximately 6 and 8 years old, climbing all over the plants, trying to grab butterflies in their fists and bothering other guests. I do not see their mother, so I speak up.)

    Me: “Excuse me, boys. You need to stay on the path. You aren’t allowed to climb on the plants, and you definitely aren’t allowed to grab the animals like that.”

    (At that moment, their mom comes running out from behind a tree, clearly on her cell phone.)

    Mother: “Hey, you can’t tell my kids what to do! If there’s a problem you come talk to me!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I didn’t see you, and your children were damaging the exhibit.”

    Mother: “What?! No, they weren’t! They are angels!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but they were climbing all over the plants and crushing them. There were also trying to grab the butterflies, which we do not allow.”

    Mother: “So? My boys are having fun. They can do whatever they want!”

    Me: “No, they are not. We have rules, and if you cannot follow them, you will be asked to leave the butterfly house and you will not allowed to remain a part of this tour.”

    Mother: “Your rules don’t make any sense. You just want to stop everyone from having fun!”

    Me: “No, ma’am, but it is my job to ensure that guests do not damage the exhibit.”

    Mother: “But you can just plant more plants, and the butterflies will be fine!”

    Me: “The butterflies will most certainly not be fine! Grabbing them like that will kill them!”

    Mother: “KILL?! How dare you say that in front of my children?! You are damaging them for life!” *turns to her boys* “Don’t worry, she’s lying! The buggies will be fine. You just keep playing!”

    (Despite my warnings, the mother refuses to intervene, so I have her and her children removed from the park. As she is being escorted out by security, she turns to me.)

    Mother: “You’re nuts! They’re just stupid bugs!”

    (Not a smart thing to say to an entomology student.)

    Rooted In Anger

    | Illinois, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

    (Note: My hair is a darker shade of auburn and I am often asked it’s natural, which it is. A seemingly normal woman comes up to the register.)

    Me: “Is this all today, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Oh, my! Is that your actual hair color?”

    Me: “Oh, yes, it is.”

    Customer: “It’s not fair! IT MAKES ME WANT TO RIP YOUR EYEBALLS OUT!”

    Don’t Egg On The Eggman

    | Kentucky, USA | Wild & Unruly

    (I am a regular customer at a locally-owned game store. It’s a really nice store, with an in-house arcade and snack bar. We also have weekly gaming and card game tournaments, one of which is going on during the time of this story. I’m browsing a bit, when I overhear this conversation between an employee, who is also my friend, and a customer.)

    Employee: “Hi, welcome to [store]. Are you looking for anything in particular?”

    Customer: “Yeah, my money back!”

    Employee: “I’ll be happy to help you with a return. What item are—”

    (The customer slams a copy of Sonic the Hedgehog 2006—a notoriously bad game—onto the counter.)

    Customer: “How dare you sell me this piece of s***?!”

    Employee: “Sir, please don’t swear at me. Now, would you like cash or store credit?”

    Customer: “Give me f***ing cash! This s***hole of a store doesn’t deserve a quality gamer like me to shop here!”

    Employee: “Okay, I can give you $5 for this.”

    Customer: “FIVE DOLLARS? FIVE F***ING DOLLARS? THAT’S OUTRAGEOUS!”

    Employee: “Sir, please calm down.”

    Customer: “I PAID FULL PRICE FOR THIS GAME!”

    Employee: “Sir, the price sticker is still on here. You paid $10, which is nowhere near the full price.”

    Customer: “YOU’RE TRYING TO F***ING RIP ME OFF!”

    (The employee motions towards the kids playing a popular trading card game nearby.)

    Employee: “Sir, there are children in this store. If you can’t calm down and properly behave, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

    (Suddenly, the customer flings the game to the side. He then goes on a rampage throughout the store, flings merchandise off of the shelves and flips over one of the claw machines in the arcade in his rage. The employee called security and the customer was dragged out, still thrashing and swearing!)

    Hair-Raising Customers

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I have very long, honey-blonde hair that is not dyed or altered. A lady is waiting for her boyfriend in the hospital emergency room when she approaches my desk.)

    Me: “Hi, would you like to head back to check on [lady's boyfriend]?”

    Lady: “No. I just wanted to compliment you on your extensions and get the number of your hairdresser.”

    Me: “Actually, my hair is natural.”

    Lady: “Yeah, okay, right…seriously, who does your hair?”

    (At that moment, my printer begins printing paperwork and I turn around to retrieve it. Suddenly, she leans forward and yanks on my hair.)

    Me: “OW!”

    (She yanks even harder.)

    Lady: “They usually come right out!”

    (I am trying to free my hair from her as she continues to yank.)

    Me: “OW! Ma’am, please, ow, stop. It’s not going to come off! It’s attached to my head!”

    (Thankfully, security shows up and makes her let go. As she’s heading to her boyfriend’s room, she starts ranting.)

    Lady: “HAIR CAN’T GROW THAT LONG!”

    Sink Or Dim(witted)

    | Vernon, NJ, USA | Health & Body, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work for a large water park that has a ride which involves a jump off a 25 foot cliff and a Tarzan rope swing. On these rides, we have a series of questions we legally must ask.)

    Me: “Are you a good swimmer?”

    Guest: “Huh?”

    Me: “Are you a good swimmer?”

    Guest: “Oh…uh…yeah, of course.”

    Me: “Any head, neck, or back injuries?”

    Guest: *indignant* “Would I be standing here if I did? No injuries!”

    Me: “Any history of heart problems?”

    Guest: “Nope.”

    Me: “Any shoulder dislocations?”

    Guest: *rolls shoulders* “No, I’m good.”

    Me: “Okay, no flipping or diving. Grab this rope, and you’re good to go…”

    (The guest proceeds to swing out over water and falls off almost instantly. I look down and see him struggling to stay afloat, so my coworker jumps in and leads him to the ladder. I close off the ride to fill out a report for the save.)

    Me: *to coworker* “What happened?!”

    Coworker: “I don’t exactly know. He says his shoulder hurts.”

    Me: “Sir, have you ever had a dislocated shoulder?”

    Guest: “Yes, why do you ask?”

    Me: “Because when I asked you before, you said no, and now you hurt it. Also, was it because of your shoulder that you were having trouble swimming?”

    Guest: “No. I just can’t swim.”

    Me: “So, when I asked if you were a good swimmer, why did you say yes?”

    Guest: “I didn’t realize I would have to swim!”

    Related:
    No, Really: Sink Or Swim

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