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    Category: Wild & Unruly

    I Have A Good Feeling About This

    | Florida, USA | Awesome Customers, Geeks Rule, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Our shop sells a lot of space-themed items, including a good deal of Star Wars merchandise. I am approached by two guys in their early 20s.)

    Guy #1: “Excuse me, miss, but we’re about to get kicked out of your store.”

    Me: “For what?”

    Guy #2: “Lightsaber fighting!”

    (They turn to a Star Wars display, each take a lightsaber off the rack, and spend a second figuring out how to turn them on. Right away, I duck behind the registers and return with two open lightsabers we have behind the counter from returns.)

    Me: “Here, try some without the packaging.”

    Guy #1: “SWEET!”

    (They activate the lightsabers and proceed to have a high-energy duel in the middle of the shop, to the amusement of my coworkers and the other customers. When one wins, they deactivate and hand the lightsabers back to me.)

    Guy #2: “Best. Store. Ever.”

    (They left without buying anything, but with huge smiles on their faces!)

    Traveling At The Speed Of Stupid

    | AB, Canada | Family & Kids, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a pool as a lifeguard. We always have problems with children running, even though it is the number one rule at the pool to walk on deck.)

    Child: *runs across deck*

    Me: “Walk please.”

    (Five minutes later, the same child runs the other way.)

    Me: “WALK!”

    (Five minutes later, the child runs in front of me. I stop the child to make sure she understands me.)

    Me: “You need to walk, okay? If I need to ask you again, I will sit you out for three minutes.”

    (The child walks away and gets back into the pool. The mother approaches me.)

    Parent: “She’s not running. She just walks on her tip toes.”

    Me: “It’s not the manner of her movement. It’s the speed she’s moving.”

    Parent: “But she’s not running.”

    (Her child runs past again.)

    Me: “WALK!”

    Parent: “But she’s not run—”

    Child: *slips and falls*

    Dovahkiin’s Day Off

    | Hamburg, Germany | Awesome Customers, Criminal/Illegal, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Skyrim, a popular video game, has just been released. As a result, we are overwhelmed by people who have come to retrieve pre-ordered games and others who haven’t pre-ordered. We’ve just run out of non-pre-ordered games when a customer comes in. He’s holding an empty Skyrim box.)

    Customer: “Oh, hi. I would like to buy Skyrim on PC, please.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, we’ve just run out of it. The only ones we have left are pre-ordered.”

    Customer: “Aw, come on, man! You must have some left in the back! Please, go check!”

    Me: “No, I’m sure we ran out of those. Same for PS3 and Xbox versions. Come back tomorrow morning; we’ll be resupplied.”

    (He moans about it for at least 5 minutes before giving up and begins wandering around the store. At this moment, another customer comes in to retrieve a pre-ordered PC version of Skyrim. Before we can say or do anything, the first customer LEAPS on the man, snatches the game from his hands and runs away, with me in tow followed by security. During the chase, the thief screams as if we are going to murder him.)

    Customer: “LEAVE ME ALONE, IT’S MINE! IT’S MYYYYYYYYYYYY GAME!”

    (A few meters later, he crosses the path of a tall man who, seeing and hearing the commotion, screams something to the thief. The tall man then rams the thief with his shoulder, sending the poor kid fly backwards and landing a least half a meter away. As the thief is being taken away by security and I’m retrieving the game box, I talk to the tall man.)

    Me: “Sir, what did you yell to him before grabbing him?”

    Tall Man: “Promise you won’t laugh?”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Tall Man: “FUS RO DAH!”

    (FYI, “Fus Ro Dah” is a spell in Skyrim that allows players to violently push enemies and objects around. I couldn’t avoid laughing, and neither could he!)

    Please Do Not Yank The Employees

    | New Jersey, USA | Wild & Unruly

    (I am working as a frozen food clerk in a supermarket. I have long hair. As I am stocking, I feel a tug on my pony tail.)

    Me: *turning around* “Um, can I help you with something?”

    Customer: “No, it’s okay. I just wanted to tug your hair!”

    Me: “Uh, okay. Thanks?”

    Related:
    Please Do Not Lather Up The Employees
    Please Do Not Creep Out The Employees
    Please Do Not Titillate The Employees
    Please Do Not Pet The Employees

    Should’ve Ripped You A New One

    , | Birmingham, AL, USA | Awesome Customers, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a really nice Country Club on the golf course side of things. Since it is a nice club, it isn’t unusual to get fairly large tips every once in a while.)

    Me: “Hey mister, could you break a hundred for me so we split tips tonight?”

    Member: *clearly inebriated* “Sure, man, I can totally break that hundred for you!”

    (I hand him the hundred dollar bill which he then proceeds to rip in half and then hand back to me.)

    Member: “There! I broke it for you.” *walks off laughing with his friends*

    Other Member: “Man, what an a**hole. Here’s another hundred for the ripped one. I appreciate y’all.”

    (I took the ripped hundred to the bank and they replaced it. I tried to give the other hundred back, but the member refused and said we earned it!)


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