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    Category: Wild & Unruly

    R-E-S-P-E-C-T

    | Canada | Bigotry, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I am the only female working in the parts department in our store. Note: at my previous job, I was involved in a violent fight against a male coworker who tried to assault me. They guy ended up at the hospital and no charges were pressed against me since I acted in self-defense. This story is well known by my current coworkers and my boss and I’m teased mercilessly about being a “man-beater.” This particular day, I’m training a new guy to work on the floor and I’m also acting as the shift supervisor since the department manager is off.)

    Customer: *to my coworker* “I need to find this.” *shows a trailer connector*

    Coworker: “It’s my first week here and I’m not sure if we carry this. However, let me ask my coworker here; she’ll tell me if we have some.”

    Customer: “Her? How can she know something about trailers? She’s a girl. Girls don’t know s*** about trailers!”

    Coworker: “Let me assure you, sir, she is the most knowledgeable employee we have here.”

    Customer: “Well, if she think she can do a man’s job, let’s ask her.”

    (I take a look at his connector.)

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but we do not carry this kind of connector. I could order some, but it will take over two weeks before they come in. May I suggest you go over [trailer store] or [another trailer store]? Both are down the road. They are more specialized than us, and they’ll probably have one in stock.”

    Customer: *to my coworker* “I told you she’ll be useless.”

    Coworker: “Sir, I don’t know what she can tell you more. We don’t keep that kind of stuff in stock, and she suggested two other other store where they sell those kind of products. I think you’ve gotten all the help you need.”

    Customer: *suddenly starts screaming* “Why do you refuse to serve me?! I AM A MAN! I AM A CUSTOMER! I deserve RESPECT and OBEDIENCE! Now you will tell me where the f*** you keep those f***ing connectors!”

    Me: “Sir, I already told you; we do not carry them. Those other stores will happily sell one to you, but I can’t because I don’t have any on hand.”

    Customer: “You useless b****! Find me a manager with something between his legs so we can discuss man things between men!”

    Me: “I am the shift supervisor today, so you’ll have to deal with me. I’ll need you to remain polite or you’ll have to leave.”

    Customer: “Well, I will just stay behind you and get on your nerves! You’ll crack and resign from your job and find yourself a man that will teach you what is it to be a good woman! You’ll find a guy who will beat you into a submissive b****, like any good woman should be!”

    (I send my coworker, who is on the verge of tears, to call the store manager so we can remove the customer from the store.)

    Me: “Okay, sir, the store manager is on his way. I need to ask you to leave the property.”

    (At this point my coworker returns, saying the store manager has called the police and is coming as fast as he can. Meanwhile, the customer starts acting very aggressively toward me; he tries to push me and effectively prevents me from going anywhere. He then turns his attention on my coworker, who doesn’t want to leave me alone with this freak. I’m really fearing for our safety, so I drop down and catch the longest, heaviest draw bar I can find. I smile at my coworker and put on the best “death stare” I can do towards the customer.)

    Customer: *suddenly scared* “…What are you doing? Stop that! You’re scaring me, b****!”

    Me: *grinning but saying nothing*

    Customer: “What are you doing with the bar? Put it down! I am a man… I am the customer… I demand obedience and respect!” *to my coworker* “What the f*** is she doing?! Tell her to stop looking at me like that. She gives me the creeps!”

    Coworker: “I don’t know sir, but around here, she’s known as a ‘man-beater.’ That’s because she sent a man to the hospital… a man that was trying to assault her at her previous job.”

    Customer: “How could they let a crazy woman like this work in a store and deal with customers?!”

    Coworker: “Well, she’s pretty handy for customers like you.”

    Customer: *very frightened* “Um, I’ll just go now, okay? I’ll go to those other stores and see if they have any in stock.”

    (As the customer turns around and starts walking out, he walks directly into the store manager, who is a very tall and broad-shouldered guy.)

    Customer: *to store manager* “Your employees are crazy! Women shouldn’t beat men! It’s the other way around! You should break her and make her obedient and submissive, like any good woman!”

    Store Manager: “Get out of my store now, or I’ll lock you in my office with her!”

    (The customer starts heading towards the exit, but runs straight into two police officers who have just arrived.)

    Customer: *to the police officers* “You gotta protect me! She’s crazy! She’s a man-beater!”

    Police Officer #1: *sarcastically* “Get into our car. You’ll be safe there.”

    (The customer was arrested then and there, which was a good thing: it turned out he was wanted for multiple cases of domestic violence. After his arrest, several ex-girlfriends came out and testified against him, putting him away for good.)

    A Case Of Misbehavin’ Identity

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I am working in a post office inside a mall. I am in a rather secluded part of the store and usually only one or two customers are here at a time. This is my first night alone, and I have just learned this particular transaction about two hours earlier with my manager. The first meeting occurs with my manager there as a witness.)

    Customer #1: “I’d like to do a change of address, please.”

    Me: “Sure. I just need two pieces of photo ID and something showing your old address. It could be your driver’s license or a bill.”

    Customer #1: “I don’t carry ID with me. I don’t want to get mugged. I took the bus here just to do this. Can’t you do it anyway?”

    (Unfortunately, there is no way to do this. If I don’t write the information down on the form, it will be rejected and the customer’s money will not be refunded. I explain this to her several times, and mention TWO pieces of ID repeatedly. I also write this down on a note and hand it to her. She leaves, upset, and tells me she’ll be back later. Work continues as normal, until I see the same customer come back in the store two hours later. This is after my manager has left me alone for the night.)

    Me: “Hi there! So, you brought your ID?”

    Customer #1: *grumbles* “Yes. I can’t BELIEVE you made me bus it home and all the way back here for ONE STUPID CARD.”

    (At this point, I know she’s going to get even angrier. She’s only got one piece of ID, and I still can’t do the transaction.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I need two pieces of ID.”

    Customer #1: “Are you f***ing joking?! ALL THE WAY HOME AND YOU STILL WON’T DO IT?!”

    Me: “I asked you for two pieces of ID, ma’am, several times. I even sent a note with you.”

    Customer #1: “YOU EXPECT ME TO READ A NOTE? ARE YOU STUPID? YOU HAVE ONE PIECE! THAT’S ENOUGH! JUST DO THE F***ING FORM!”

    (The customer is fuming, and there are other people in line behind her. I call my manager, who immediately remembers the customer and tells me to “just do the transaction anyways and she can lose her $40 if she wants to”, but by this time the woman is screeching while I’m on the phone.)

    Customer #1: “YOU ARE REFUSING ME SERVICE BECAUSE YOU’RE A RACIST, AREN’T YOU?! YOU F***ING RACIST!”

    (Suddenly, she vaults herself over the counter and grabs the nearest object—thankfully just a roll of kraft paper—and starts whacking me with it. Security happens to be passing by and they tackle the woman to the ground, kraft paper in hand, still screeching about my “racism” and “ignorance”. I go back to helping the customers that have been waiting.)

    Customer #2: “My god, that was the best thing I’ve ever seen! What the h*** did you do to her?!”

    Me: “Long story…I just needed more ID and she didn’t have it. What can I help you with?”

    Customer #2: “Oh, a change of address. But I only have one piece of ID…” *gets a sheepish look on his face* “You just spent the whole time I was in line explaining that you need two pieces of ID for this form, didn’t you?”

    Me: “Oh, um, yes… so, you know that I can’t do it then?”

    Customer #2: “Yeah, I just hoped for some hair pulling.” *slinks away*

    Customer #3: *grinning* “I have two pieces of ID, and I just want to mail this.”

    Me: “I’m so sorry you had to witness that, sir. You could use the drop box beside the desk next time. It’s right over there.”

    Customer #3: “Oh, I know. But I’m an officer and I wanted to witness that woman in case things went south.”

    (It turns out he really was an officer! He had the woman charged with assault and petty theft for taking the roll of kraft paper.)

    This We’ll Defend

    | NC, USA | Awesome Customers, Military, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Note: I’m a female and I’m waiting for my girlfriend to get off work, and the person who was supposed to relieve her is running late, so I’m hanging around. My girlfriend is hair under five feet tall, and maybe 90 pounds. She’s really little and people try and intimidate her a lot because of this.)

    My Girlfriend: “I’m sorry. It should be like half an hour.”

    Me: “No problem.”

    (A customer shoulders past me and shoves an item in my girlfriend’s face.)

    Male Customer: “This place f***ing ripped me off!”

    My Girlfriend: “What’s the problem, sir?”

    Male Customer: “Don’t play with me, you stupid b****! I bought this and it won’t work!”

    My Girlfriend: “Sir, may I see the item?”

    Male Customer: *shoves it at her*

    My Girlfriend: “Sir, this didn’t come from our store.”

    Male Customer: “You callin’ me a liar, you stupid b****?!”

    My Girlfriend: “Of course not, but this package has a label that clearly has the name of our competitor on it.”

    Male Customer: “So, I bought it here!”

    My Girlfriend: “I’m sorry, sir, but no, you didn’t.”

    (At this point, another customer, who is a fairly petite woman, is standing behind him. She looks a little concerned. Without warning, the male customer takes a swing at my girlfriend.)

    Male Customer: “You stupid c***! Do your d*** job and give me a f***ing refund!”

    (Thankfully my girlfriend steps out of reach of the customer’s swing. However, the petite woman behind him suddenly surges forward, and in one swift movement twists his arm behind his back and slams his face down on the counter.)

    Petite Woman: *to my girlfriend* “Honey, you may want to call 911.”

    My Girlfriend: *stunned* “O-Okay…”

    Me: *to the male customer* “Jesus Christ, what the h*** is the matter with you, you freaking pyscho?!”

    Male Customer: “Get the f*** off me!”

    (In response, the petite woman wrenches his arm behind him further. The male customer wails.)

    Male Customer: “You can’t do that! You’re just a woman!”

    Petite Woman: “Army Strong, a**hole. If you want to walk away with your arm not broken, I’d stop struggling.”

    (The male customer stops struggling when he realizes that she isn’t going to let go anytime soon. The police show up in less than five minutes. They get everyone’s statements and view the security video. The manager finally meanders out; he’s a man who is useless in every sense of the word. He also doesn’t like my girlfriend because she’s dating me, a girl.)

    My Girlfriend’s Manager: “What is all this about?

    Police Officer: “Sir, this man just attempted to attack your employee.”

    My Girlfriend’s Manager: “Oh.”

    Petite Woman:That’s all you have to say?” *to my girlfriend* “Honey, you want to press charges?”

    My Girlfriend’s Manager: “Oh, that won’t be necessary.”

    (The petite woman whirls on my girlfriend’s manager, and he actually takes a step backwards.)

    Petite Woman: “I wasn’t talking to you. Believe me when I tell you, your boss will be hearing about what little concern you have for your employees!”

    My Girlfriend’s Manager: *slinks off*

    (Meanwhile, the police finish arresting the man and explain to my girlfriend how she can press charges.)

    Me: *to the petite woman* “Excuse me, Miss?”

    Petite Woman: “Yes?”

    Me: “Thank you. You defended my girlfriend. So many people wouldn’t have done anything. Would it be alright if I could have your name?”

    Petite Woman: *smiles* “You’re welcome. You guys look cute together. And my name is Angel.”

    (With that, she leaves without buying anything. Three days later, my girlfriend’s unhelpful manager was fired. An Angel indeed!)

    An Eye For An Eyepatch

    | Beaverton, OR, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m the only employee still working a cash register late one night. I’ve got a long line, and the next customer keeps glaring at me.)

    Me: “Hello, miss, sorry about the wait. Did you find everything all right?”

    Customer: “I’m so sick of you people.”

    Me: “Of who?”

    Customer: “First, that awful girl stacking the shelves with the pink hair, and now you with that… thing on your face! Why are you brats so desperate for attention?”

    (Two years ago, I lost my right eye in an accident. I wear an eyepatch now.)

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s not a fashion statement, I really need—”

    Customer: “Don’t lie to me!”

    (Without warning, she lunges across the counter and grabs the patch, snapping the cord and pulling it off. She laughs with triumph for about a second before she sees my empty eye socket.)

    Customer: *screams and runs out of the store, leaving her items but taking the eyepatch*

    (That customer never came back. Fortunately, I have a lot of spare eyepatches, but I had to finish the rest of my shift that night with a paper bandage over the socket.)

    Harry Potter And The Disorder Of The Forks-Flicks

    | USA | Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I am a customer at a bookstore. I am browsing a few shelves when another customer comes up to me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me!”

    (I think I’m blocking her way, so I move two feet over.)

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Why the f*** are you walking away from me, you f***ing little c***?! I’ll have you fired for this!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I think you’re conf—”

    Customer: “You little w****! You think you can sell my daughter these trashy novels, and expect to get away with it? She told me all about the saleslady who told her ‘Oh, you don’t want the Twilight series, Harry Potter is much better!’ Well, I’m telling you right now, my daughter DOES want the Twilight series. So, you better exchange the books right now, you b****!”

    Me: “Ma’am, there’s been a mistake. I don’t work here.”

    Customer: “DON’T YOU LIE TO ME, YOU LITTLE S***!”

    (The woman whaps me over the head with a hardcover book. This one is the fifth Harry Potter and therefore the thickest. I stumble backwards, and fall on my butt. At this point, an actual employee has noticed the situation, and has called for mall security. He runs over to try to break it up.)

    Employee: “Ma’am, you can’t hit other customers!”

    Customer: “That’s not a customer, and don’t you lie to me! I know it’s another one of your second rate employees, trying to get out of exchanging my books!”

    (The customer proceeds to kick me as I’m still on the ground. When the employee tries to stop her, she hits him across the face with the book as well. He doesn’t fall over; instead, he grabs her arm and gets the book from her. She continues to try attacking, so he puts her in a headlock to immobilize her.)

    Customer: “YOU’RE ALL JUST A BUNCH OF LITTLE F***ERS WHO DON’T WANT TO RETURN MY BOOK! WELL, I’M GETTING ALL YOU A**HOLES FIRED!”

    (After screaming more profanities, security finally shows up. She is escorted out in handcuffs and is currently serving jail time for assault and battery. I ended up with a concussion, but got a five-hundred dollar gift card to the store as compensation. I also got a date with the employee who came to my rescue!)

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