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    Category: Wild & Unruly

    Don’t Mess With Employees, Part 2

    | Not Always Right | Roundups, Wild & Unruly

    Don’t Mess With Employees, Part 2! This week, we return with part two of the roundup that started it all: teaching misbehaving customers the consequences of messing with employees!

    1. Why Barkeeps Should Rule The World (6,011 thumbs up)
      A cheap patron asks a stupid question and gets a priceless answer!
    2. Scamming In Plain Sight (4,764 thumbs up)
      The only damage this scamming customer will get is to his wallet.
    3. Coming To A Theater Near You: Gangsta Ushers (2,937 thumbs up)
      A thieving movie customer gets the show of a lifetime!
    4. Don’t Mess With The Candyland Gang (1,794 thumbs up)
      What do a Fairy, Santa Clause, and a six-foot Snowman have in common?
    5. Choose Your Battles (3,653 thumbs up)
      A violent video game customer learns it’s best not to wrestle with wrestlers!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    A Sign Of The Times

    | Manitou Springs, CO, USA | Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

    (Note: I am working the ticket counter giving out prizes. A guy and his teenage daughter are examining a glass display case with stuff inside. Suddenly, the daughter backs up a foot and launches herself directly into the case, almost knocking it over.)

    Me: “Please do NOT push on the glass!”

    Father: *angrily* “Well, there should be a sign or something! How was she supposed to know that would happen?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but people don’t generally throw themselves in to our GLASS cases.”

    Father: “Well, there should be a sign! Geeze!” *storms out*

    Technically, He Set It To Vibrate

    | New York, USA | Technology, Wild & Unruly

    (Two customers enter the electronics department.)

    Me: “Can I help you two with anything?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I dropped my phone in the toilet.”

    Customer’s Friend: “No, you dropped it in the sink.”

    Me: “Well, did you try putting it in a bag of rice?”

    Customer: “No, I put it in the microwave.”

    Me: “Sir, you aren’t supposed to put electronic devices in the microwave.”

    Customer: “I realize that now…it exploded after ten seconds in the thing!”

    Please Don’t Single Me Out

    | Albuquerque, NM, USA | Crazy Requests, Love/Romance, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m a Caucasian male with very curly hair in my early 20s on a register. A Native American female in her mid to late 40′s comes up behind me.)

    Customer: “Oh, I love curly hair!”

    (She runs her fingers through my hair with a huge smile on her face.)

    Me: *feeling uncomfortable* “Uh…”

    Customer: “When do you get off?”

    Me: “Um, well I—”

    Customer: “I just love curly hair. It’s so cute! I just love it. My ex-boyfriend only had straight hair, but yours is so much better.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I really don’t think this is appro—”

    Customer: “Are you single?”

    (I press a code on my register for manager assistance.)

    Me: “I’m flattered and all, but I’m sorry, I’m just not that interested. Sorry. I hope you have a wonderful evening, though.”

    (Her smile changes to a scowl and she starts poking me in the shoulder angrily.)

    Customer: *pokes me repeatedly* “What!? Why not!? Is it because of my skin color!? What do you have against native chicks, huh!?”

    Me: “Not at all, ma’am, really! My first girlfriend was a native woman. I don’t understand why you’re doing this, and I don’t appreciate being treated this way.”

    Customer: “Oh, that’s bulls***! You are all alike! You’re just a white, racist, piece of s***! I’m going to get you fired, a**hole! You’ve insulted me and you took my joy away!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ve called for a manager.”

    (She continues this profanity-laden tirade while the manager walks up.)

    Manager: “What’s the problem, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Your cashier insulted me!”

    Manager: “Alright, ma’am, what did he say to you?”

    (I’m a bit nervous, to be honest. I’ve never received a customer complaint before.)

    Customer: “He won’t go out with me! You’re the manager! Tell him to go out with me, or he’s fired! Can’t you understand?!”

    Manager: “If you come in here and hit on our employees or customers one more time, you will be banned from the store. Get out, now, or I will call the police!”

    Customer: *glares at me as she storms off*

    Manager: *to me, jokingly* “So, how do you like your new girlfriend?”

    (Apparently, this woman had come in several times and would aggressively flirt with white male customers and employees. So much so, that the manager staff were notified to be on the lookout for her!)

    Hard Hats vs. Hard Heads

    | Buffalo, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (One day, I have a flat tire in front of a coffee & donut shop that is under construction. The shop is obviously unfinished, and is full of equipment and blocked by orange cones. The construction workers on site kindly change my tire and refuse to take my money, so the next day I return with pizzas, wings, and subs as a thank you. As I’m passing out food, an SUV pulls into the lot. The SUV mows down an orange cone which gets stuck under the vehicle and starts making the loudest grinding noise imaginable as it’s dragged along. The foreman goes over to speak to the woman driver. She is yelling at the drive-thru apparatus, which is obviously not operational–just like the rest of the unfinished coffee & donut shop.)

    Woman: “I’d like a large fries, a Big Mac, and a Diet Coke, please!”

    Foreman: “Ma’am, this location is still under construction. There’s no one here to take your order. Furthermore, this is a coffee and donut chain. Even when the building is done, they won’t sell burgers. If you’re looking for burgers, go up the street to the corner.”

    Woman: *exasperated sigh* “Oh, alright then. I’ll take a large coffee with three sugars and a bagel sandwich with cream cheese and jam. Ooh, do they have fritters here?”

    Foreman: “I’m sorry if I was unclear, ma’am, but this store isn’t open yet. There are no employees inside to make your food. Heck, the electrical isn’t installed yet.”

    Woman: “Why, you little fibber! I can see your whole crew eating right over there! You just don’t want me to have a lunch break even though you’re getting one!”

    Foreman: “Ma’am, that food was brought by the woman over there in the suit. We helped her change her tire the other day, so she bought us pizza.”

    Woman: “Pizza?! You said this was a coffee and donut place!”

    Foreman: “The pizza was bought at [local grocery store]. It’s not from here.”

    Woman: “From [local grocery store]? Don’t be ridiculous! This building looks nothing like [local grocery store]! Do you think I’m stupid?!”

    Foreman: “I’m paid to build restaurants ma’am, not give IQ tests. But you’re in a restricted construction zone and you need to leave right now.”

    Woman: “This is bulls***! I demand to speak to your manager right this instant!” *she sees me and starts shouting* “Miss! Oh, Miss! I’d like to speak to you!”

    (I pick my way across the unpaved lot.)

    Woman: “Miss, I’d like to lodge a complaint about your employees!”

    Me: “Madam, I’m not their manager and this building isn’t open for business yet. However, if you pull your right wheel up on that curb, perhaps the crew can dislodge the traffic cone stuck beneath you before you leave so it doesn’t damage your vehicle.”

    Woman: “Of course you’re the manager! You’re wearing a suit and heels! And what’s this nonsense about a traffic cone? I didn’t run over any traffic cone! I tell you it’s like the whole world has gone crazy!”

    Me: “Well, it seems like part of it certainly has. Regardless, I’m not the manager here. However, I am the attorney who’s going to flag down that nice police officer across the street if you don’t cease trespassing and vacate these premises immediately.”

    Woman: “Well, I never! I’m going to call the corporate offices and complain about the whole lot of you. You see if I don’t! I’ll have your jobs!”

    (The woman pulls her car out of the lot, oblivious to the horrible noise being made by the still-wedged traffic cone. She also mows down another cone as she leaves, although that one doesn’t stick.)

    Foreman: “Good grief. So much for Darwin and natural selection.”

    Related:
    Hardcovers Vs. Hard Hats


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