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    Category: Wild & Unruly

    Customers Need To Give Us A Break

    | Rhode Island, USA | Health & Body, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I’ve just slipped on water and hit my shoulder so hard it has fractured. I’m on the ground in intense pain with my coworkers surrounding me to ensure I am okay. A nearby customer is obviously not impressed.)

    Customer: “Why are you all being lazy lying about? I just want some d*** coffee.”

    Coworker #1: “I’m sorry, sir. It will be just a moment. Our coworker has fallen and we think she broke her shoulder.”

    Customer: “Godd*** lazy kids these days, lying on the disgusting floor having a good time at work!”

    Coworker #2: “I’m sorry, sir. It will be just a second. I’ll be there as soon as I am sure that we have an ambulance coming.”

    Customer: “I should report your lazy a**es to your manager. You have horrible customer service and that one…” *points at me* “…is just sleeping on the floor!”

    (Mu manager, who was dialing the ambulance, speaks up.)

    Manager: “I don’t know what your problem is right now, but I just had this young lady fall, hit her head, and crack her shoulder. I am concerned she broke her shoulder, so right now all I care about is calling her an ambulance. If you are so concerned about your coffee, there is another shop a tenth of a mile away, a fast food place next door, and the gas station on the corner has coffee as well.”

    (By now I’m standing, and am holding my arm to my body using my other arm so as not to hurt myself worse.)

    Customer: “She’s fine! She’s standing up and playing with her arm!”

    (At this point, I’ve decided I’ve had enough of the customer’s verbal abuse.)

    Me: “I’m really sorry for the inconvenience, sir. I should have known that there would be a puddle of water on the ground right there that I slip in. I can honestly tell you I’m not ‘playing’ with my arm. I’m currently trying to prevent further injury to myself. What is so d*** important that you couldn’t wait ’til they made sure I had an ambulance coming?”

    Customer: “D*** b****!”

    (The customer storms out, slamming our door. Three days later, he comes back and sees me in a sling.)

    Customer: “What happened to you?”

    Me: “You remember the other day when you complained that I was just lying on the floor? I fractured my shoulder!”

    Customer: *turns red, orders, and leaves quickly*

    What Goes Around Coffees Around

    | Ireland | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (I have just finished serving a mother, but her daughter has dropped her juice so I have to mop up the spill. As part of our goodwill policy for spills, I also give the little girl another juice on the house. I then began serving the next customer.)

    Next Customer: “You shouldn’t have given her a free juice. It’s her own fault for being clumsy!”

    Me: “Well, it’s part of our goodwill policy. Accidents do happen, you know.”

    Next Customer: “Well, children shouldn’t be in a place like this in the first place. People should take responsibility for their actions!”

    (The customer takes her coffee, and as she approaches her seat she trips over her own feet and tosses her mug across the table. She splashes coffee everywhere: on the wall, on the floor, and all over the table and chairs.)

    Next Customer: *sheepishly* “I spilled my coffee. Can you make me another one to take away, please?”

    That Almost Became A Four-Finger Discount

    | Florida, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m working the checkout during one of our biggest sales events. Despite the long line of customers, everyone seems to be happy and everything is going well. Then, a woman with a rather sour look on her face flings her items onto my counter.)

    Customer: “I can’t believe how rude you are. How DARE they hire you for a customer service position!”

    Me: *startled* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but what exactly is it that I did?”

    Customer: “The man you just checked out cut the entire line! I’ve been waiting patiently in your f***ing for over five minutes and you decide to help the a**hole who doesn’t want to wait like the rest of us!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I agree that it was rude of him, but I didn’t realize that he cut in front of you as well as everyone else.”

    (Despite my apologies, she continues to scold me loud enough that my manager hears, walks over, and stands behind her. I’m placing her cash in the register when suddenly she lunges over the counter and reaches for the cash drawer. I quickly slam the door shut, accidentally pinching her fingers in the process. She yelps as she’s holding onto her hand, screaming for a manager.)

    Manager: “Yes, I’m the manager. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, you can fire that b**** of an employee you have there. She has been nothing but rude to me since I got here, and she just now assaulted me! I also demand that she apologize to me!”

    Manager: “Well, yes, I do agree that an apology is in order. Ma’am, I am sorry that you hurt yourself while attempting to steal the money from her cash drawer. ”

    Customer: “Excuse me?!”

    Manager: “With all due respect, ma’am, not only was I standing behind you when it happened, I also have you on camera reaching over and trying to steal money from the cash register, so there is no use denying it. So, before I escort you to my office and call the police, I’d honestly like to know why you tried to take money out of the cash register.”

    Customer: “Well, with everything that’s happened here today, I felt that I should be compensated. I figured I should get my stuff for free, as well as a little extra back for my troubles!”

    That’s The Way He Bypassed The Brady Punch

    | Brampton, ON, Canada | Rude & Risque, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m out for the evening with my younger sister. We’re just having a few drinks at a bar that’s close by. I’m 6’2″, 275 lbs, and my sister is 5’9, 180 lbs.)

    Drunk Guy: *to my sister* “You know you’ve got really nice tits. You know that, right?”

    Me: “Excuse you?”

    Drunk Guy: “No, really! She’s got a fantastic rack!”

    Me: “Buddy, back off. Go bother someone else.”

    Drunk Guy: “What’re you going to do about it? What are you, her boyfriend or some s*** like that?”

    (At this point, a bouncer walks up behind him. He knows our family as patrons of this bar.)

    Bouncer: *to the drunk guy* “First of all, I’m going to eject you from this place, by your will or otherwise. Secondly, I’m going to let this big guy here beat the snot out of you and that’s AFTER his sister kicks your A**, and I’m more scared of her than I am of him. Thirdly, that big guy right there is one of the most scary people that I’ve ever met, especially when protecting family.”

    Drunk Guy: *nods very quickly and shuffles out of the bar*

    Me: “Thanks.”

    Bouncer: “Nobody messes with this MOTHERF***ING family!” *walks off*

    A Good Ol’ Fashioned A** Whoopin’, Part 2

    | Turin, Italy | Awesome Customers, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m a customer at a local restaurant. It’s 7:30 pm, so most of the customers haven’t arrived yet and the place is pretty quiet. All of a sudden, a middle-aged customer starts shouting randomly and making obscene gestures to people. A waitress tries to calm him down, but he just doesn’t listen. This goes on for a while, until the same waitress approaches an elderly couple with their dinner.)

    Elderly Wife: “Thank you, dear. Is there any way to make that horrible man stop yelling?”

    Waitress: “I am sorry, ma’am. He keeps ignoring us.”

    Elderly Husband: “He’s just a little kid hoping for attention. Kick him out.”

    Waitress: “I am terribly sorry, but it is our policy not to kick customers unless they are posing a threat to someone. We can not even touch him.”

    Elderly Husband: “Well, that doesn’t apply to me, does it?”

    (With that, the elderly husband stands up, reaches the middle-aged customer and grabs him by an ear. He then drags him on the floor and out of the restaurant, eventually kicking him in the butt. When he comes back to his table, he hands the waitress 40 euros.)

    Elderly Husband: “For the glass he broke on his way out. Bad kids always need a good kick in the butt!”

    Related:
    A Good Ol’ Fashioned A** Whoopin’

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