Category: Wild & Unruly

Burn The Other Cheek

| Valley Stream, NY, USA | Religion, Wild & Unruly

Me: “Good morning, sir. Would you like to purchase our protection plan on this?”

Customer #1: *very thick Jamaican accent* “Nah, your coworker explained that. I don’t want it.”

Me: “Alright, sir.”

(I proceed to remove the anti-theft device and scan the GPS.)

Customer #1: “Does this…”

(The rest of the question is so garbled by his accent that I can not make it out.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir… could you repeat that?”

(My coworker, who by chance is also from Jamaica, jumps in and answers the customer’s question. After about 30 seconds of discussion between the two, it’s clear the customer still has some unresolved questions, and since I am the only register open a line has been forming. I interrupt their conversation briefly.)

Me: “Excuse me, I’m just going to suspend this transaction so I can take the next customer. As soon as you’re ready, I’ll finish up for you.”

Customer #1: “Okay.” *continues asking my coworker questions*

Me: *calling out* “Next, please!”

Customer #1: “YOU BIGOT!”

(Suddenly, Customer #1 throws the GPS at me, hard enough to crack the plastic clamshell case it’s in and giving me a small cut on my arm. He then storms out of the store. My coworker and I look at each other, confused, as the next customer, Customer #2, walks up to my register. Customer #2 is a middle-aged woman with a similar Jamaican accent. She is wearing a church t-shirt.)

Customer #2: “That man was so rude to you for no reason.”

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. I really have no idea why he called me a bigot.”

Customer #2: “A good Christian should be kind. People like that should just die and rot in H***!”

Some Days Start Off With A Bang

| USA | Bizarre, Wild & Unruly

(A man walks into our police department and approaches the dispatch counter.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Man: “I was just at a yard sale and brought a nice wood trunk, but when I got it home I looked inside and it was full of dynamite. It looks old and unstable.”

Me: “And where is it now?”

Man: “It’s in the back of my truck.”

Me: “Okay, and where is your truck?”

Man: “Outside in your parking lot!”

(And that is how our police department ended up getting evacuated for three hours. He parked, of all places, next to the supervisor’s brand new personal truck. Thankfully, it was found to be dummy training dynamite!)

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Mother Scorned

| Waterbury, CT, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Top, Wild & Unruly

(We’re not too busy at the grocery store this night, but we still have a decent amount of customers. I have just finished a transaction for Customer #1, a lady no more then 5 feet tall who is carrying a small infant, when I notice that she has left her baby’s bottle on the counter.)

Me: “Oh, Miss! Your baby bottle!”

(My coworker, a young man, picks up the bottle and politely walks the few feet to give it to the woman.)

Customer #1: “Thank you both so much!” *takes the bottle*

(Out of nowhere, Customer #2, a man about 6 feet tall, starts screaming.)

Customer #2: “Why the f*** are you catering to her! You’re a man! She is just a fat lazy b****!”

(My coworker, a few other customers, and I stand in shock. Customer #1, however, calmly puts her grocery bag on the floor, places her infant in my coworker’s arms, and walks right up to Customer #2. With amazing speed, her hand shoots out and grabs his collar bone, and he drops to the floor in obvious pain.)

Customer #1: “You wanna go?! Come on! This fat, lazy b**** will kick your a** all over this d*** store!”

Customer #2: *meekly raises his arms in surrender*

Customer #1: “Smart decision!” *picks up her grocery bag, takes back her baby, and merrily goes on her way*

Related:
Hell Hath No Fury Like A Pregnant Woman Scorned

This Apple Doesn’t Foul Far From The Tree

| Virginia, USA | Family & Kids, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I work in a community college library. I am passing through the kid’s room, where students often leave their children while they study, when I witness a small boy push a girl down over a toy.)

Little Boy: *to the little girl* “F***ing C**t!!”

(Shocked and offended by his foul language, I march straight into the room, snatch him up by the arm, and physically drag him, bawling and squalling into the main library, where his mother is talking on her cell phone.)

Me: “I’m going to tell your mom EXACTLY what you said to that little girl—”

Mom: *into her phone* “Hold on…” *to me* “Hey! HEY! What the F*** are you doing to my boy!? F***ING B***H!”

Courage Under Hire

| Montreal, Quebec, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I’m in the back, preparing for my shift. It’s past rush hour, but the station is still busy. My coworker is working the till, and there’s a line of customers.)

Coworker: “Good evening. What pump did you have?”

(Suddenly, the customer pulls out a BIG hunting knife.)

Customer: *threatening* “Give me the cash!”

Coworker: *annoyed* “Did you have gas to pay for or not? It’s late. There are people behind you in line waiting to pay and go home, and you’re holding up the line.”

Customer: *lowers knife* “Oh, sorry.”

(To everyone’s surprise, the would-be robber leaves, dejected. Everyone just stares at my coworker, dumbfounded.)

Coworker: “Wait, was he trying to rob us?”

Next Customer: “Balls of steel, man!”

(My coworker realizes what he’s done, and starts freaking out. He was a bit shaken for an hour or so, but was okay afterwards.)

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