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    Category: Wild & Unruly

    Painful Showers Bring Mayday Flowers

    | Midwest, USA | Awesome Customers, Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

    (While working at the flower shop, I’m trying to quickly help a pushy customer.)

    Customer #1: “Could you HURRY up? I’m in a rush!”

    (I hurriedly wrap her flowers in tissue. In my rush to appease her, I staple my thumb to the paper. The staple is completely closed, going through BOTH my thumb and the paper. It immediately starts bleeding on her flowers.)

    Me: “OW! Oh, gosh, I need to get some help with this!”

    Customer #1: “No! I need my flowers! Give them to me!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am bleeding all over your flowers. I need some help getting this out of my thumb. I’m sorry, but you’ll need to wait.”

    Customer #1: “NO! HURRY UP!”

    Me: “Do you want bloody flowers?”

    Customer #1: “I don’t care about your thumb! Get me new flowers!”

    (At this point, I notice Customer #2, who is standing behind her, getting woozy at the sight of my bleeding stapled thumb.)

    Me: *to Customer #2* “Sir, are you going to be okay?”

    Customer #1: “Stop helping him! You’re supposed to be helping me!”

    (Finally, a coworker hears the commotion and comes up front. She immediately gets on rubber gloves and starts trying to pry the staple out.)

    Customer #1: “I can’t believe this! If I wasn’t in such a hurry, I would just go somewhere else!”

    Customer #2: *still looking green* “Lady, just go somewhere else! Leave the poor girl alone!”

    Customer #1: “Lazy employees!” *throws her hands in the air and leaves*

    (Soon, the staple is gone and my wound is bandaged. At least my day ended on a high point—Customer #2 was very pleasant and bought me a flower!)

    Aisle Never Stop Answering You

    | USA | Bizarre, Wild & Unruly

    (I work in a small card shop in a mall. It’s rather cramped and the aisles are difficult to navigate if there are many people in the store. Small note: There are two phones in the store; one in the office, one near the registers.)

    Manager: “[Me], will you please put these cards back in their pockets?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    (I begin to walk to the proper space when an older customer stops me, smiling.)

    Customer: “NOW what are you going to do?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “What happens if the phone rings and you can’t get past me to get it? Do you just let it ring?”

    Me: “No, there is a phone near the registers.”

    Customer: “What? Nuh-uh. There can’t be one up there!”

    Me: “I believe there is still a phone up there, sir.”

    Customer: “Prove it! Show me!”

    (I take the customer up to the registers and show him there is indeed another phone.)

    Customer: “You smart alec! Why do you need two phones in a small store?!”

    Me: “In case the store is full and we can’t reach the other in time.”

    Customer: *quickly exits the store, defeated*

    Manager: “What the heck just happened?!”

    R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Part 2

    | New York, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (A mother and her two young children (both 4 or 5 years old) come through my checkout line. The mother is on her phone, totally oblivious to her children, who are running around and pulling on my apron strings. We have a spinning carousel with which to bag purchases; as I bag, the children begin spinning it around.)

    Me: “No, no, sweetie… please don’t do that. I’m trying to bag.”

    (Both children ignore me and keep spinning, and as a result I get hit by the carousel.)

    Me: *in pain* “Sweetheart, please don’t do that.”

    (The children continue to ignore me, so I put my knee on it so they can no longer spin it.)

    Me: “Please don’t.” *to the mother* “Ma’am?”

    Mother: *waves me off*

    (I have to lift a 24-pack of water, so I remove my knee from the carrousel. As expected, the children take this opportunity to spin it as hard as possible. I set the water down and stop the carousel.)

    Me: “Excuse me! When a grown up asks you to stop, you stop. This can hurt you if you get close, and we don’t want you to get hurt.”

    Mother: “B****! Don’t tell my kids what to do!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I asked them and I asked you to stop spinning the carrousel. Someone could get hurt.”

    Mother: “That’s bulls***!”

    (At this point, an elderly woman who has been waiting in line speaks up in my defense.)

    Elderly Woman: “Miss, you keep on bagging. This little hussy here should learn to watch her children, and if she can’t, then she shouldn’t have had them!” *to the mother* “In my day, you would be nice to the people at the register! Now, get off the phone and show some respect, because without nice young girls like this you’d never get your groceries and your kids would probably be bleeding on the floor while you’re on the phone too busy to care! What have you to say for yourself?!”

    (The mother was completely speechless and had nothing to say in her defense. Instead, she paid for her stuff and left as quickly as possible!)

    Related:
    R-E-S-P-E-C-T

    Burn The Other Cheek

    | Valley Stream, NY, USA | Religion, Wild & Unruly

    Me: “Good morning, sir. Would you like to purchase our protection plan on this?”

    Customer #1: *very thick Jamaican accent* “Nah, your coworker explained that. I don’t want it.”

    Me: “Alright, sir.”

    (I proceed to remove the anti-theft device and scan the GPS.)

    Customer #1: “Does this…”

    (The rest of the question is so garbled by his accent that I can not make it out.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir… could you repeat that?”

    (My coworker, who by chance is also from Jamaica, jumps in and answers the customer’s question. After about 30 seconds of discussion between the two, it’s clear the customer still has some unresolved questions, and since I am the only register open a line has been forming. I interrupt their conversation briefly.)

    Me: “Excuse me, I’m just going to suspend this transaction so I can take the next customer. As soon as you’re ready, I’ll finish up for you.”

    Customer #1: “Okay.” *continues asking my coworker questions*

    Me: *calling out* “Next, please!”

    Customer #1: “YOU BIGOT!”

    (Suddenly, Customer #1 throws the GPS at me, hard enough to crack the plastic clamshell case it’s in and giving me a small cut on my arm. He then storms out of the store. My coworker and I look at each other, confused, as the next customer, Customer #2, walks up to my register. Customer #2 is a middle-aged woman with a similar Jamaican accent. She is wearing a church t-shirt.)

    Customer #2: “That man was so rude to you for no reason.”

    Me: “Thank you, ma’am. I really have no idea why he called me a bigot.”

    Customer #2: “A good Christian should be kind. People like that should just die and rot in H***!”

    Some Days Start Off With A Bang

    | USA | Bizarre, Wild & Unruly

    (A man walks into our police department and approaches the dispatch counter.)

    Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

    Man: “I was just at a yard sale and brought a nice wood trunk, but when I got it home I looked inside and it was full of dynamite. It looks old and unstable.”

    Me: “And where is it now?”

    Man: “It’s in the back of my truck.”

    Me: “Okay, and where is your truck?”

    Man: “Outside in your parking lot!”

    (And that is how our police department ended up getting evacuated for three hours. He parked, of all places, next to the supervisor’s brand new personal truck. Thankfully, it was found to be dummy training dynamite!)

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