Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Talking At-At Cross Purposes
    (1,349 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Return Of The Geeks!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Wild & Unruly

    Some Days Start Off With A Bang

    | USA | Bizarre, Wild & Unruly

    (A man walks into our police department and approaches the dispatch counter.)

    Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

    Man: “I was just at a yard sale and brought a nice wood trunk, but when I got it home I looked inside and it was full of dynamite. It looks old and unstable.”

    Me: “And where is it now?”

    Man: “It’s in the back of my truck.”

    Me: “Okay, and where is your truck?”

    Man: “Outside in your parking lot!”

    (And that is how our police department ended up getting evacuated for three hours. He parked, of all places, next to the supervisor’s brand new personal truck. Thankfully, it was found to be dummy training dynamite!)

    Hell Hath No Fury Like A Mother Scorned

    | Waterbury, CT, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (We’re not too busy at the grocery store this night, but we still have a decent amount of customers. I have just finished a transaction for Customer #1, a lady no more then 5 feet tall who is carrying a small infant, when I notice that she has left her baby’s bottle on the counter.)

    Me: “Oh, Miss! Your baby bottle!”

    (My coworker, a young man, picks up the bottle and politely walks the few feet to give it to the woman.)

    Customer #1: “Thank you both so much!” *takes the bottle*

    (Out of nowhere, Customer #2, a man about 6 feet tall, starts screaming.)

    Customer #2: “Why the f*** are you catering to her! You’re a man! She is just a fat lazy b****!”

    (My coworker, a few other customers, and I stand in shock. Customer #1, however, calmly puts her grocery bag on the floor, places her infant in my coworker’s arms, and walks right up to Customer #2. With amazing speed, her hand shoots out and grabs his collar bone, and he drops to the floor in obvious pain.)

    Customer #1: “You wanna go?! Come on! This fat, lazy b**** will kick your a** all over this d*** store!”

    Customer #2: *meekly raises his arms in surrender*

    Customer #1: “Smart decision!” *picks up her grocery bag, takes back her baby, and merrily goes on her way*

    Related:
    Hell Hath No Fury Like A Pregnant Woman Scorned

    This Apple Doesn’t Foul Far From The Tree

    | Virginia, USA | Family & Kids, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work in a community college library. I am passing through the kid’s room, where students often leave their children while they study, when I witness a small boy push a girl down over a toy.)

    Little Boy: *to the little girl* “F***ing C**t!!”

    (Shocked and offended by his foul language, I march straight into the room, snatch him up by the arm, and physically drag him, bawling and squalling into the main library, where his mother is talking on her cell phone.)

    Me: “I’m going to tell your mom EXACTLY what you said to that little girl—”

    Mom: *into her phone* “Hold on…” *to me* “Hey! HEY! What the F*** are you doing to my boy!? F***ING B***H!”

    Courage Under Hire

    | Montreal, Quebec, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m in the back, preparing for my shift. It’s past rush hour, but the station is still busy. My coworker is working the till, and there’s a line of customers.)

    Coworker: “Good evening. What pump did you have?”

    (Suddenly, the customer pulls out a BIG hunting knife.)

    Customer: *threatening* “Give me the cash!”

    Coworker: *annoyed* “Did you have gas to pay for or not? It’s late. There are people behind you in line waiting to pay and go home, and you’re holding up the line.”

    Customer: *lowers knife* “Oh, sorry.”

    (To everyone’s surprise, the would-be robber leaves, dejected. Everyone just stares at my coworker, dumbfounded.)

    Coworker: “Wait, was he trying to rob us?”

    Next Customer: “Balls of steel, man!”

    (My coworker realizes what he’s done, and starts freaking out. He was a bit shaken for an hour or so, but was okay afterwards.)

    Speak Loudly And Carry A Big Stick

    | Morisset, Australia | Bizarre, Wild & Unruly

    (My friend and I are out doing some shopping. Note: my friend had sprained his ankle earlier that day, so I’d leant him a walking stick I happened to own to help him around the store. A rather disheveled old man, also with a cane, approaches us out of the blue.)

    Old Man: *to my friend* “Nice cane!”

    My Friend: “Thanks.”

    Old Man: “Did you get it here?” *turns to an employee who is stocking shelves beside us* “Did he get it here?”

    Employee: “Uh—”

    Old Man: “Handy things, canes! Great for clubbing people!” *swings his cane wildly* “It’s honestly something no senior should be without; they’re great for self-defense. If anyone tries to attack you, or mug you, you can just smash them!”

    (The old man begins to mime beating someone with his cane. My friend, the employee, and I exchange glances.)

    My Friend: “Yeah… good…”

    Old Man: “Do you know what else canes are good for? MOUNTAINS. Have you been to the mountains? They’ve got these great canes up there; huge branches that they’ve carved into. Great for bushwalking, but what I think they should do is just whack one of those little rubber things on the end and sell them as regular old walking sticks. I think there’s a serious market for those!” *turns to the employee* “Would you stock something like that?”

    Employee: “I—”

    Old Man: “And do you know what else? You could sell self defense DVDs with the walking sticks, teaching people the weak spots in the human body and the best way to swing your cane! THE BALLS! Aim for the balls! Or the nose or stomach; that’d work! Even just getaway attacks, like taking out the knees, giving you time to run. You know, even if people didn’t want the walking stick, I think they’d still buy the DVD; that’s really handy knowledge!”

    (He stops as it looks like a thought dawns on him, while the three of us just stare at him, speechless.)

    Old Man: “There is a genuine market for these!” *points at me and my friend accusingly* “It’s mine! You know it’s mine and you can’t have it! Try and steal it… AND I’LL WHACK YA!”

    (He lunges at us with his cane and we jump back when he swings it at us. He laughs maniacally and rushes off without another word, leaving us dumbfounded and a little scared.)

    Employee: *whispers* “Don’t steal his idea, whatever you do…”

    Page 47/63First...4546474849...Last