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    Category: Wild & Unruly

    We With Consoles Are Always Ready To Console

    | Billings, MT, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m a regular at a game supply store. All the managers and employees know me, and often ask me to help with customers. A customer and her young son walk into store.)

    Employee #1: “Hello and welcome to [game supply store], where we sell and trade used games. My name is [employee name]. Is there anything I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Oh, yes… I was looking for a game for my son. I think it’s called [extremely outdated game].”

    Employee #1: “I’m sorry, we haven’t had any games for [extremely outdated console] in over four years. We could help you with finding another game from an up-to-date console if you would like.”

    Customer: “NO! I want that game for my son to play! He played it at the local pizza place on one of their arcade boxes, or whatever they’re called!”

    Employee #1: “Again, ma’am, we do not have [extremely outdated game], but we can surely help you find another game if you would like.”

    Customer: “Yeah? Then what about THIS one?!”

    (Suddenly, the customer grabs a brand-new game off the shelf and smashes it with her heels.)

    Employee #1: “Ma’am, you are gonna have to pay for that. Please stop or I’m gonna have to get management out here.”

    Customer: “Fine, go ahead! I don’t f***ing care! I want to talk to the motherf***ing management!”

    (The manager comes over.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, is everything okay?”

    Customer: “No, it’s not f***ing okay! My son wants [extremely outdated game], and he wants it NOW!”

    (At this point, the customer’s child finally speaks up.)

    Customer’s Son: “Mommy, it’s okay. We can just get the game from [website].”

    Customer: “No, no, no, no! We are getting you this game from this store, TODAY! This happened because of your f***ing s****y employee not helping me!”

    Manager: “Ma’am, we just can’t have people coming in and smashing our games just whenever they get mad. Again, you are going to have to pay for that, and then please leave the building.”

    Customer: “What do you mean, LEAVE the building?! I shouldn’t have to! I’m the customer! I’M ALWAYS RIGHT!”

    (With that, the customer loses all control and ATTACKS the manager and the employee #1. Employee #2 and I manage to get her on the ground while employee #1 calls the police. Surprisingly, her son remains completely calm during the entire situation.)

    Me: “Little boy, how are you just so calm in all this?”

    Customer’s Son: “This isn’t the first time this has happened. Last time, she kicked someone where it hurts a lot, ’cause he fell over crying and stuff.”

    Me: “Oh, well, do you have any other parents at home?”

    Customer’s Son: “Yeah, just call this number…”

    (He proceeds to take a folded piece of paper with delicately written numbers on it. I call the number. Before I can even explain the situation, the man on the other end of the line already seems to know what has happened.)

    Me: “Yes, hello?

    Man: “Oh, God… don’t tell me she did it again!”

    Me: “Yeeeeeeeeep.”

    Man: “Yeah, I’ll be over. Which store is it at this time?”

    (I give the man our store’s location. About 20 minutes, a big man enters the store. During this time, the police have arrived and are filing the report and interviewing everyone. I have just been interviewed when he comes up and talks to me.)

    Man: “Where is she?”

    Me: *points at cruiser*

    Man: “Thank God.”

    (After the big man leaves with the son, employees #1, #2, and the manager come up to me.)

    Employee #1: “Who was that?”

    Me: “I don’t know, but it sounds like tonight’s gonna be a good one for him.”

    (We later found out that the customer was the man’s wife, and the son was later moved to a different home. The son eventually would often spend days at the gaming supply store talking with the employees. Great kid, I’ll tell you that!)

    Sound And Fury, Signifying Policing

    | Ontario, Canada | Bizarre, Wild & Unruly

    (I volunteer at a rather unusual renaissance faire that showcases a number of home-built medieval weapons for competition. Prizes are awarded for authenticity, construction, and most importantly, use. My job at this point is to keep guests from wandering into anywhere dangerous. Currently, I’m stationed at the edge of a crossbow and arquebus live-fire zone.)

    Guest #1: “What’s going on here?”

    Me: “Stay back, please. This is the crossbow and arquebus live fire zone. The contestants are going to be shooting homemade weapons in the next few minutes.”

    Guest #1: “At people?”

    Me: “No sir, at targets. These are real weapons that shoot real arrows and bullets.”

    Guest #1: “That sounds awesome! I’m going to stick around for that.”

    Guest #2: *overhearing us talk* “Do they let visitors shoot?”

    Me: “No sir, sorry. The weapons are extremely dangerous and all our participants are licensed and trained.”

    Guest #1: “Aw man, I hunt all the time. Can’t I?”

    Guest #2: “I’m also experienced with firearms.”

    Me: “Sorry guys, no one’s allowed in without a competitor badge. What you can do is talk to the competitors after the event about getting a guests pass. They’re allowed to bring people with them, and I know they’ve invited people they’ve met at shows in the past who’ve demonstrated interest. But the show’s about to start, so I recommend trying to get some good seats.”

    (The show begins, and many of the competitors are wearing period dress. When the arquebus presentation begins, my supervisor calls out the codeword for missing weapon on the radio. Before I can even start to call the police, there’s a sudden explosion, and a man awkwardly wearing a page’s shirt and a plate helmet falls over backwards. He removes his helmet, revealing Guest #1′s face. Before he can get far, Guest #2 tackles him.)

    Guest #1: *to Guest #2* “Hey! You can’t do that! You don’t even work here!”

    Guest #2: “The lady said you need a badge to enter the field. Well, buddy, I’ve got one of those!”

    (Sure enough, Guest #2 did have a badge—a police badge!)

    Every Cloud Has A Savior Lining

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Love/Romance, Wild & Unruly

    (I am a short, 100 pound fifteen-year-old girl, and a lot of people try to intimidate me. I work in a fairly large bakery, with plenty of seats that are blocked off from the cashier.)

    Customer #1: “Hi, can I get a brownie please?”

    Me: “Sure thing!”

    (I notice there is one, broken brownie left.)

    Me: “If you like, ma’am, you can wait just one minute and there will be a fresh, unbroken one for you.”

    Customer #1: “DON’T F***ING TELL ME WHAT TO DO! YOU ARE REFUSING ME SERVICE, YOU LAZY B****! GET ME A F***ING BROWNIE!”

    Me: *shocked* “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’ll get that right away.”

    Customer #1: *suddenly nice and sweet* “Thank you, honey!”

    Me: “Here you go!”

    (Customer #1 takes one look at it and goes berserk.)

    Customer #1: “THIS IS F***ING BROKEN! I AM NOT EATING THIS S***!”

    (Suddenly, she launches herself at me and grabs me by the hair. I have very long, very sensitive hair, so she has no trouble dragging me over the counter and onto the ground. She starts kicking me and screaming. Two customers rush to my rescue, restraining her and helping me off the ground.)

    Customer #2: “Are you alright?”

    Me: *shaking like a leaf* “I think so.”

    (Customer #1 suddenly breaks free and rushes at me. I shriek rather loudly, but Customer #2 heroically jumps in front of her, effectively shielding me. The mall security has by now subdued her, but I still burst into tears. However, everything ended well: afterwards, Customer #2 bought me a coffee, and we have been dating for the past few months!)

    Related:
    Every (Bad) Crowd Has A Silver Lining

    Chide Should Go Before The Fall

    | Israel | Family & Kids, Money, Wild & Unruly

    (A kid is running around with a toy gun until he falls down and breaks it. His mother grabs it and approaches me.)

    Mother: “I would like another one of this.”

    Me: “No problem, but I need you to pay for the one you broke.”

    Mother: “That’s insane! He broke it in your store! That means it’s your responsibility!”

    (I point to a huge sign behind me that says, ‘You Break It, You Buy It.’ I have never seen anyone run that fast!)

    Saved By The Buff Belle

    , | USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Note: In this case, the cashier has made an error and given the customer the wrong item. However, it doesn’t justify what transpires next…)

    Customer: “I did NOT order this salad, you stupid bimbo!”

    (The customer throws the salad right at the cashier.)

    Cashier: “Hey!”

    Customer: “I did NOT order a f***ing salad!”

    Cashier: “Oh, I’m so sorry. That was my mistake.”

    Customer: “I want my entire order free!”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir, but it does not work that way. I sincerely apologize for the error.”

    Customer: “I want my food free!”

    (The customer throws the rest of his food at the cashier, hitting another cashier who has stepped over to help wipe the mess. The manager, who has seen everything happen, speaks up.)

    Manager: “Sir, you do not do that to my employees. I’m going to have to ask you to pay not just for your order, but the salad that you have now ruined.”

    Customer: “Who are you, and what gives you the right to demand that?!”

    Manager: “I am the manager.”

    Customer: “No, you’re not. You’re a woman!”

    Manager: “I assure you, I am. This is my name tag.”

    (The manager presents her name tag, which says “Robin.”)

    Customer: “You stole that off your real manager, a man! Females spell it R-O-B-Y-N!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry if it’s confusing, but I am the manager, and that is how my name is spelled. Nevertheless, I’m going to ask you to pay for the food you threw and apologize.”

    Customer: “I want my food free! That’s it!”

    (Suddenly, a short but very muscular woman shows up and drags the customer from the counter to a wall. She is a customer who has also been watching the commotion.)

    Woman: *to the customer* “You, pay up, or you’ll have ME to deal with!”

    Customer: “Um, okay! Okay!” *pays and leaves immediately*

    (The woman who saved the day? She got a free meal!)


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