Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • God Loves Little Girls Who Stand Up For Others
    (2,556 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Wild & Unruly

    When Customers Actually Give A Jam

    | Montpellier, France | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (At the checkout counter, a mother and her son are behind an elderly lady in line. The kid keeps bumping on the elderly lady with their shopping cart.)

    Elderly Lady: “Excuse me, young lady, could you please tell your son to stop pushing your cart on me?”

    Mother: “No way! You must not upset children! That’s how they get traumatized!”

    (The mother indeed does nothing to stop her son. Suddenly, another customer—young man standing in line behind them—takes a jar of jam, opens it, and pours it on the mother’s head.)

    Mother: *shocked and dripping with jam* “Are you CRAZY? What the h*** are you doing?”

    Young Man: “Listen, lady. You see, I was also raised like this, with no limits. I did everything and whatever I wanted… and I still do!”

    (The mother quickly leaves the store with her son, angry and covered with jam. For the record, the elderly lady insisted to pay for the jam.)

    Epicenseless

    | New Zealand | Wild & Unruly

    (I run a web business in New Zealand, and am talking a friendly customer on the phone. Suddenly, the building starts to shake. It’s not violent, but it’s very long, so I’m not sure at first how bad it’s going to get.)

    Me: “Uh… I’m sorry. There’s an earthquake.”

    Customer: “Oh! Where are you?”

    Me: “Wellington.”

    Customer: “I’m in [town further south].”

    (I don’t respond, as I’m wondering whether I should get under the desk for my own safety. I continue to hold onto the phone, when I hear the customer speak again.)

    Customer: “Oh, I feel it now! Isn’t this exciting?”

    Zord Almighty

    | IL, USA | Bizarre, Geeks Rule, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m a big Sentai fan (aka Power Rangers in English). I overhear this conversation at an anime convention I’m attending. NOTE: I am female while the attendees that are talking are male; also I am not from the same state that it’s being held at. We’re at a vendor booth who’s selling old toys—Power Rangers being one of them.)

    Attendee #1: “Man, Power Rangers is classic!”

    Attendee #2: “Have you watched any of the Japanese versions?”

    Attendee #1: “F*** no! The Japanese ones are stupid as f***! America started the whole trend in the first place!”

    Attendee #2: “Um… no they didn’t. ”

    Attendee #1: “Whatever, f***ing otaku.”

    Me: “He’s right.”

    Attendee #1: “Like you would know!”

    Me: “I would. Mighty Morphin’ is technically Zyuranger in Japan. The 16th series in the Super Sentai line.”

    Attendee #1: “Oh yeah? Then where are the other 15 then, Miss Thang?!”

    Me: “Never translated. But you can find most of them online.”

    Attendee #1: “Bulls***! You’re a girl and know nothing about Power Rangers!”

    Attendee #2: “More than you.” *to me* “Have you seen it in Japanese?”

    Me: “Not all of it… but I can see why it almost killed the franchise in Japan though.”

    Attendee #1: “HA! See! Japan sucks! They failed at translating it, so it sucked!”

    Me: “You do realize you’re at an ANIME CONVENTION? You know, Japanese animation and other media.”

    Attendee #1: “Some weebos came up with the term anime! It’s just awesome American cartoons that the f***ing Japanese stole from us!”

    Attendee #2: “Okay, dude… you’re crazy.”

    Me: “Yeah, you’re a moron.”

    (Attendee #2 and I walk away and end up talking a lot about the Sentai series and wound up being pen pals. As we are heading to our rooms, we’re surprised to see Attendee #1 getting escorted out of the convention by staff and security yelling obscene things. I walk up to a staff member of the con.)

    Me: “Um… can I ask what that was about?”

    Staff: “He cursed and threw something at one of our guests.”

    Attendee #2: “Who?”

    Staff: “Robert Axelrod.”

    Me: “The voice of Lord Zedd?!”

    Staff: “Yeah, he mentioned how Zedd was an original character for the American version, and it set him off!”

    It’s His Cue To Go

    | Nebraska, USA | Wild & Unruly

    (It’s late Easter Sunday evening. The hall is empty except for one group of four. One member of the group is intoxicated and has been allowed to stay but not to drink.)

    Customer: “Eight ball in the corner…”

    (He shoots and misses by a wide margin.)

    Customer: “GODD*** IT! SON OF A B****!”

    (Suddenly, he smashes the house pool cue repeatedly on the table until it is nothing but splinters.)

    Me: “HEY! You need to leave here, right now!”

    Customer: “Why?! What the h*** is your problem?!”

    Out Bat-ter Angels

    | NY, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a hospital. Every week, we host an event where volunteers come in and entertain some of the sick children. On this particular day, most of the volunteers are dressed up as superheroes.)

    Superman: “Who wants me to see if I can pull a penny out of their nose?”

    Child #1: *in a wheelchair* “Me! Me!”

    Superman: *doing his magic trick* “I’m afraid I can’t. All I could find were all these quarters!”

    (Superman magically pulls out a quarter and gives it to Child #1. A few minutes later, Child #1 returns.)

    Child #1: “Superman! Superman! I bought candy with the money you found! This one’s for you.”

    (At this point, one of two volunteers dressed as Spiderman speaks up.)

    Spiderman #1: “Where’d he get that candy?”

    Child #2: “There’s a vending machine in the hallway.”

    Spiderman #1: “They let you buy candy? That’s not healthy.”

    Spiderman #2: “I’m sure the nurses here are aware of what the kids eat.”

    Child #2: “It’s true. They’re really strict.”

    Spiderman #1: “It’s just not healthy…”

    (Meanwhile, Superman is continuing his trick.)

    Superman: “…and another one in the left ear, and another one in the right ear. Wait! I haven’t checked your nose for quarters yet.”

    Child #3: *after Superman’s finished* “What kind of candy do you want, Superman?”

    Superman: “Don’t worry about me, kid. I’m Superman! Superman can make candy with his mind.”

    Child #3: “Nuh uh! I saw the movie!”

    Superman: “Oh yeah? Watch this!”

    (He closes his eyes and concentrations hard, then pretends to catch something out of the air.)

    Superman: “Ah-ha! Chocolate!”

    Spiderman #1: “Don’t give her that. They get too much sugar.”

    Nurse: “It’s fine, sir.”

    Spiderman #1: “No!”

    (All of a sudden, Spiderman #1 grabs the chocolate from Superman, throws it on the floor, and stomps on it. He’s clearly out of control and scaring the children.)

    Spiderman #1: “Food like that will just keep you sick! They just want you to stay here and keep buying their s****y candy to keep you sick so they can get your money! They just—”

    (At that moment, a man dressed as Batman appears with his cape wrapped around him. Surprised, Spiderman #1 begins stuttering.)

    Spiderman #1: “Uh… what do you want?”

    Batman: *in a deep voice* “I want this hospital to be a place of hope. I want these children to enjoy their lives. I want the forces of darkness forever beaten.”

    (He drops the cloak, revealing the police uniform underneath it.)

    Batman: *cuffs Spiderman #1* “I want justice!”

    (The children all cheer, relieved. A month later, one of the children who has been in the hospital for a very long time is getting ready to leave. When someone asks him what his favorite memory of the volunteer nights was, he says…)

    Child: “When crazy Spiderman went crazy and Batman took off his costume and he was an actually real hero and made crazy Spiderman go away!”

    Page 46/64First...4445464748...Last