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    Category: Wild & Unruly

    Not The Sharpest Bigot

    | AZ, USA | Bigotry, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m walking around the store seeing if any shoppers need help.)

    Me: “Excuse me, sir, are you finding everything all right today?”

    Customer: *turning* “Oh, what the f*** is this?”

    Me: “Um… what is what?”

    Customer: “I haven’t been helped by a single American since I got here. Are you people even hiring whites?”

    (Our town has a regrettably accurate reputation for being somewhat racist. Customers often ignore non-white employees or refuse their aid. I’m of Indian descent, but was born and raised a few miles away in Phoenix.)

    Me: “Sir, all our employees are American citizens. If you don’t need help, though, I’ll just go.”

    Customer: “Hang on, where’s your manager’s office?”

    (I point.)

    Customer: “Good!”

    (Without warning, he grabs my arm and drags me forcefully to the office. He pushes it open without knocking.)

    Customer: “You need to arrest this man! He’s an illegal!”

    (My manager turns in her chair. She’s got light brown skin, and is often mistaken for Hispanic.)

    Manager: “Sir, I know for a fact [my name] is a citizen. And you need to take your hands off him right now.”

    Customer: *not letting go* “Oh my God! They’ve got a Mexican in charge. No wonder you don’t hire whites!”

    Manager: “Sir, more than half of my employees are white. Now let [my name] go or I will call the police.”

    Customer: “Are you threatening me? I’m a real American, you can’t threaten me!”

    (At this he pulls out a Swiss Army knife and points it at her.)

    Manager: “No, I’m not. Would you like me to?”

    (Without warning, she draws a knife of her own from nowhere and slams it point-first into the desk.)

    Manager: “That’s one. I’m carrying nine. Let him go.”

    (The customer goes pale and releases both my arm and the knife.)

    Manager: “Thank you.”

    (Instead of letting him go, my manager locked him in the office and called the police, who came and arrested him for assault and threatening with a weapon. As they were leading him out, my manager stopped him for a moment.)

    Manager: “And by the way, I’m not Hispanic, I’m Romani. If you’re going to be a racist, at least learn the difference.”

    Belly Rubbed And Snubbed

    | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a department store as a cashier. I also have a medical condition where I must take a heavy amount of steroids, and a side effect of this is that I’m a bit chunky. I’m ringing up a customer.)

    Me: “Hi, did you find everything okay?”

    Customer: “Oh, my dear, how can they force a woman in your condition to stand at a cash register all day? Your ankles must be so swollen! When are you due?”

    (Suddenly, she reaches across the counter and rubs my belly, totally invading my personal space.)

    Me: “In about five years, after I finish college, get married, and get a job that pays above minimum wage. I’m fat, not pregnant, lady. And I do not remember giving you permission to put your hands on my body.”

    (The customer turns beet red, mumbles something, and abruptly leaves all her merchandise on the counter. I get a round of applause from the rest of the customers in line.)

    Next Customer in line: “I would have hit her if I were you.”

    Children Are A Stressing

    | Kansas, USA | Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

    (At the day care where I work, I have one kid who screams for absolutely no reason. He also has been known to become violent in a short amount of time. In this particular instance, a parent has arrived to pick up her own child while the kid is livid.)

    Parent: *walks in smiling* “How’s your day going?”

    Me: *smiles back* “Not too bad! Yours?”

    Parent: *glances at child* “I’m just glad it’s almost Friday.”

    Me: “Yeah, me too.”

    (Suddenly, the kid picks up a chair, and throws it against the wall while letting out a monstrous scream, scaring not only this parent, but two other parents, the rest of the children, and myself.)

    Parent: *stares at the kid and looks back at me* “God bless you!”

    Seeing Red

    | NY, USA | Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (Two customers approach the concession stand.)

    Customer: “I’d like a small red slushie.”

    Me: “All right, I’ll be right back with that!”

    (I go around the corner and try to get him his drink. The machine is working poorly, and I can’t get anything to come out. I pull the lever as hard as I can, with no success.)

    Me: *to my manager* “I think we have a problem.”

    (As soon as I say it, the slushie explodes out of the machine, covering me from head to toe and spreading over about a third of the concession stand. I stand there dumbfounded for a moment, then grab a paper towel, wipe off the cup, and bring it back around to the customer, who is obviously trying not to laugh.)

    Me: *to his friend* “And can I get you anything?”

    Customer’s Friend: *grinning* “Yes. A small red slushie, please!”

    A Disservice To Good Parenting

    , | UK | Awesome Customers, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

    (I work in a department store. It is Halloween, and our best kid’s costumes are out on display. I am decorating the store with fake spiders, when a angry customer and his bratty kid comes up to me.)

    Me: *looking at child tearing down bunting* “Uh, kid? I’m going to have to ask you to stop that.”

    Customer: *scowls at me* “Don’t you DARE!”

    Me: “Is this your child, sir?”

    Customer: “Yep! He’s not going to stop for a minimum wage weirdo!”

    Me: “But, sir, he’s defacing store property! I have to ask you to replace that mannequin and the torn bunting.”

    Customer’s Kid: “Shut the f*** up!”

    (I pause in shock.)

    Customer: “That’s it boy! We don’t be polite to serving people! They’re below us!”

    Coworker: “Excuse me sir? I’m going to have to ask you to go, or I’ll call security.”

    Customer: “I’m not scared of you! I’ll bet you’re not even Christian!”

    (At this point, a nearby customer who has overheard everything walks over.)

    Nearby Customer: *completely calm* “No, I’m not. I do, however, have a brown belt in Brazilian Floor Ju-jitsu. Let’s step outside and discuss this, shall we? Or you can kindly replace the decorations and leave these kind people alone.”

    Customer: *turns pale* “L-let’s go son. I wanna leave this devil store.” *mumbles while shoving a note into my hands* “This stuff is crap anyway.”

    (The best part? The man and his kid had walked into some off-duty police officers, who found the man had stuffed a bunch of MP3 Players into his top!)

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