Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • The True Appliance Of Science
    (1,642 thumbs up)
  • August Theme Of The Month: We Are Closed!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Wild & Unruly

    The Deal Of His Life

    | NJ, USA | Awesome Customers, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I am being served in a gas station, when a drunk customer approaches the clerk.)

    Drunk Customer: “Do you sell beer?”

    Clerk: “Of course, sir. Right over there.”

    (The clerk starts to ring my up my purchases, but the drunk customer shoves them aside and drops a pair of six-packs on the counter.)

    Clerk: “I, uh—”

    (I nod for him to go ahead. Just then, the door opens behind me and four uniformed police officers come in. There are three police cars parked out front, and one of the cops is quite loudly talking into a radio.)

    Drunk Customer: “Hey! You overcharged me. I saw you. Dirty Jew!”

    Clerk: “I… um… I’m Irish Catholic.”

    Cop: “Sir, do we need to—”

    Clerk: “No, no, just let him—”

    Drunk Customer: *turns around and faces me* “Yo, little lady! Don’t say a word of what you’re about to see. Got it?” *to clerk* “Y’know the guy who worked here before you? They threw him in jail for dealing heroin.”

    Clerk: “Yes, um, I remember that.”

    Drunk Man: “So, sell me some f***ing heroin!”

    Clerk: “I, uh…” *he takes cover behind the counter*

    Cop: “Okay, buddy, we need to-”

    (The drunk customer pulls a gun from his pants. It’s small, orange-tipped, and says ‘SUPER FUN CAP GUN’ on the side. However, the cops can’t see it, and they draw their guns.)

    Me: *to the cops* “It’s a toy! It’s a cap gun!”

    (Hearing this, one cop quickly holsters his gun and tackles the man.)

    Drunk Customer: *as he’s dragged away by the cops* “Yo, b****! I told you not to tell! We had a deal, we had a deal!”

    (Fast forward some time, and note that both the drunk customer and I have some pretty unique and visible tattoos. I’m at a cafe.)

    Waiter: “Excuse me, miss, but I have to ask, I think I recognize your tattoos.”

    Me: *noticing his* “Gas station, four cops, cap gun?”

    Waiter: “I never got to thank you for intervening on my behalf. I should have been shot that day.”

    (We chat for a while. After the conversation, he tells me my meal’s on the house. Unfortunately for him, I’ve gotten the same thing I always do, so I leave the amount, plus a decent tip, anyway. As I’m leaving, he notices what I’ve done.)

    Waiter: “Yo, b****! I told you not to pay! We had a deal!” *notices shocked patrons* “Uh, hope you enjoyed your coffee.”

    Careless Carers

    | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work in a large retail center, and we are highly understaffed. I work in the outdoor department, and stop to help a caretaker with a child; they’re looking for a baseball glove.)

    Me: “Hello, do you need some help?”

    Caretaker: “I’m just trying to get this d*** kid to wear this glove.”

    Me: “…Excuse me?!”

    Caretaker: “Yeah, I work as this brat’s caretaker, and he won’t put his hands in the glove.”

    (I lean down to help the child, speaking softly and quietly, as he seems frightened. This only seems to enrage the caretaker further.)

    Caretaker: “How dare you, b****… talking s*** to him about me?! You’re a d*** stupid loser and that’s why you work here!”

    Me: “Pardon me, ma’am, I wasn’t talking about you. And please, don’t call me stupid; you do not know me.”

    Caretaker: “Why do you work here if you’re not an idiot?”

    Me: “I’m still working on my RN, so I can be more than a caretaker with a nasty attitude.”

    (The caretaker walks away, still cussing at the child. I call security and ask them to follow her and be sure she doesn’t hurt the boy. Meanwhile, I am called up front to work on the register. Of course, the same caretaker is in line.)

    Caretaker: “Hurry it up, b****! I spend my hard earned money on these groceries. Don’t waste my time.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am… your total is $100.67.”

    Caretaker: “Here. Use my food stamps.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am.”

    Caretaker: “Unless you’re too f***ing dumb to know how to do that.”

    (I finish ringing her up, but before she pushes her cart away, two sheriffs walk up and place handcuffs on her. Unbeknownst to me, she had, in fact, struck the child after I dealt with her the first time.)

    Makes You Want To Throw In The Towel

    | KY, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (Two coworkers are discussing the recent Black Friday sale.)

    Coworker #1: “I just heard two women arguing in the towel section.”

    Coworker #2: “Over what?”

    Coworker #1: “The towels. Apparently, they are a hot item this year.”

    Coworker #2: “What do you mean?”

    Coworker #1: “One lady was quicker than the other, so she snagged the towel when another lady also wanted the same one. They argued over it until the first lady broke the second lady’s finger.”

    Coworker #2: *shakes head* “Over a towel!”

    Guarding The Lifeguard

    | Albany, NY, USA | Awesome Customers, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m a lifeguard at an apartment complex. It’s the end of summer, and some new tenants are at the pool for the first time, the first of whom is pretty muscular. I notice that they’re smoking, which is against the rules.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t allow smoking in the pool area. Could you please put those out?”

    New Tenant #1: “Really? Come on.”

    New Tenant #2: “You can’t do anything anymore.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but it does bother some people.”

    New Tenant #1: “Whatever.”

    (They put out their cigarettes and I go back to my chair. A few minutes later, Tenant #1 gets up and dives into the pool. It’s 4.5 feet deep, and there are signs everywhere forbidding diving.)

    Me: “Sir, there is absolutely no diving at this pool!”

    New Tenant #1: “Man, I’m about ready to throw you over the f***ing fence!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but diving isn’t allowed. There are signs all over the place.”

    New Tenant #1: *flexes menacingly* “Who the f*** do you think you are?”

    Me: “I’m the lifeguard, sir, and it’s my job to enforce the rules. Please don’t do that again, or you’ll have to leave.”

    (Overhearing the commotion, an old tenant speaks up.)

    Old Tenant: “Are you okay?”

    Me: “I’m fine, no problem.”

    (The new tenants go back to their party, and they leave in a minute, still grumbling angrily.)

    Old Tenant: “That jerk! I can’t believe he threatened you like that! You need to tell the manager. I’ll back you up.”

    Me: “Don’t worry, I will. Thank you so much.”

    (The next day, the old tenant told the story to everyone who missed it. A dozen people came up to me and said they had my back if he returned, thanked me for being such a good guard, and apologized for him. On the last day, I got four thank you cards and $80 in tips!)

    Not All Visitors Stink

    | Panama City Beach, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at the snack shack at my local zoo one summer. We have a huge group of middle-school aged kids in the park, and their supervisor has all 75+ of them come to the shack at once for lunch. I have been serving for about forty-five minutes when this happens.)

    Kid #1: “Can I get a water and a hot dog for five dollars?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    (I ring him up, take his money, and give him the water. I’ve turned around to get the hotdog and am just coming back when I hear a shriek.)

    Me: “What happened?”

    Kid #1: “I don’t know.” *grabs hot dog and walks off*

    (I try to calm the kids down, and just when they’re in a line again, I smell an powerful odor; it’s obviously what caused the shriek.)

    Me: “Someone set off a stink bomb. One second…”

    (I radio the front so they know, but there are other groups in the park and it’s not an immediate danger, so it’s still just me.)

    Kid #2: “Yeah. I want to know who it is so we can get them later.”

    Me: “Here’s your order. So, someone decided to set off a stink bomb right where you all are getting and eating food?”

    Kid #3: “Pretty much. I want a cheeseburger and a soda.”

    Me: *still serving* “…In a place full of animals with a great sense of smell, like the bears and mandrills behind me?”

    Kid #4: “Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out and beat them up for you!”

    Me: “Oh, that’s sweet.”

    (I keep serving for about another ten minutes when I again hear a shriek; this time, it turns into hysterical screaming. I look and see that one of the parrots has been spooked off his perch, and, for some reason, several kids are screaming since he’s on the ground near them. I grab the radio and tell the keepers, but put up my “Back in Five Minutes” to calm the screaming kids down..)

    Me: *to the screaming kids* “It’s okay. Just back away from the macaw, kids. He’ll be fine; you’ll be fine. Just back up.”

    (The kids do so, and a keeper prepping for the wolf show runs over to put the bird back.)

    Me: “Thanks.”

    Keeper: “No problem. Hang in there…”

    (The keeper has just left when I hear yet another kid yell.)

    Another Kid: “Leave him alone!”

    (I turn to see some kids spooking our white peacock; this other kid, a girl, is trying to protect it.)

    Me: “Oh for the love of… that is the head keeper’s personal favorite animal! Desist!”

    (The kids break up, apparently snickering at my use of the word ‘desist’. I get back into the shack.)

    Kid #6: “Yay, you’re back. Um, a hot pretzel and soda.”

    (After I serve him, I see Kids #2 and #3; they’ve come back with a large group. To my surprise, the kids proceed to empty all the change I’ve given them into the donation jar.)

    Kid #2: “Sorry it’s been so crazy. I swear we’re not all that bad!”

    Page 38/62First...3637383940...Last