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    Category: Wild & Unruly

    When Customers Finally See The Light(ning)

    | Manitoba, Canada | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (It’s pouring rain and lightning has struck a nearby tower at our water park. We’ve therefore closed for safety and have evacuated all the guests. A woman of about 40 walks up to the gate while I’m ushering my fellow employees out of the park.)

    Customer: “I’d like a ticket, please.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; we’re closed right now due to inclement weather.”

    Customer: “But I came here to use the water slides!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s not safe right now. Lightning could strike one of the structures at any moment.”

    Customer: “Sell me a ticket!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I cannot do that. We cannot allow you to enter the park during extreme weather.”

    (Suddenly, the woman HITS me in the face with her beach bag and runs into the park. Two of the burly male lifeguards run after her and drag her back to safety just as lightning strikes our tallest water slide structure. There are very dramatic sparks and fire. The woman screams, turns, and starts running from the park. On her way out, she picks up her beach bag, hits me in the face AGAIN, and runs to her car. She got away.)

    The Karate Kid: Christmas Special

    | Kent, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Holidays, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Is a few days before Christmas, and people are after their last few gifts. I’m stacking shelves when I see a confrontation between a man who is tall and obviously goes to the gym and a boy who is about nine years old.)

    Man: “Give me that toy! You’re only going to steal it!”

    Boy: “No, I got here first. You should have been more prepared.”

    Man: “Shut up you brat. I’m your elder. You should respect me. Just give me the toy or I’ll educate you!”

    (Note that the toy in question is big, enough so that the boy has to hold it with both hands. The man and the boy start struggling over it.)

    Man: “F***ing let go!”

    Boy: “NO!”

    (The man raises his fist and I quickly jump up to stop him. However, before I can, the boy kicks the man’s hand out the way and then kicks his legs out from under him, sending him crashing to the ground—all while still holding on to the toy.)

    Boy: “I’ll let you know what my sister thinks of the toy!”

    (The man quickly runs off, humiliated. It turns out the boy and I have the same karate instructor, and he was one grade behind me.)

    Fuming Over The Gas, Part 2

    | Green Bay, WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Wild & Unruly

    (We are located in a small strip mall. As I am checking out a customer, I see a police officer walk in and two fire trucks pull up. The officer comes up to me and ask if there is a manager around.)

    Me: *to my manager* “Um…. the police are here. They said they need to talk to a manager.”

    Manager: “I’ll be right there.”

    (When she comes to the front, we find out that the building next to us has a gas leak. We make an announcement to evacuate the store. Outside the store is myself, the front manager, night manager, and two framers.)

    Framer #1: “You know, I get the feeling a customer is going to ask what going on…” *motions to the fire trucks and the orange cones blocking the store’s entrance* “…and when we tell them, they will ask if we’re open.”

    Framer #2: “Don’t be ridiculous!”

    (Just then a female customer walks up to us.)

    Customer: “Oh my, what’s going on here?”

    Me: “A gas leak happened next door. It’s starting to leak into ours.”

    Customer: “Oh… so are you open?”

    Me: *stunned* “Um, no we aren’t. We had to evacuate.”

    (The customer huffs and grumbles about me being lazy. She then goes to the night manager, who tells her the same thing.)

    Customer: “But that’s next door’s problem! Why is it yours!?”

    Manager: “Because the gas is leaking into our store.”

    Customer: “But I need to get something! Can’t you let me in?”

    (This carries on, as both the front manager and the framers both explain to her why she cannot go in. The police officer walks over.)

    Officer: “Ma’am, we cannot let you or anyone in. If you will be patient, the fire department will see what the levels are, and then we could possibly let you in.”

    Customer: *huffs and storms off*

    Framer #1: “I was only kidding when I said that!”

    Framer #2: “You should know by now: when somebody becomes a customer, they lose all common sense.”

    Related:
    Fuming Over The Gas

    When Toxic Personalities Become Intoxicated

    | Nashville, TN, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, School, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I am bartending at a neighborhood dive that caters mostly to a set of regulars who were minimum wage or blue collar workers, but occasionally some of the kids from an expensive nearby university would wander in. I am talking to a female regular at the bar who happens to be seated next to a young guy from the college.)

    Me: “Hey, did you check out that show I told you about?”

    Regular: “Yeah, thanks, it was really funny!”

    (We are discussing episodes, when a college kid joins in.)

    College Guy: “Hey, I love that show! What season are you up to?”

    (For a few minutes, we all engage in friendly conversation until, suddenly, a spoiled and VERY intoxicated college girl in a miniskirt and six-inch heels proceeds to shove my female regular in the back.)

    College Girl: “Hey, b****!”

    Regular: *calmly turns on her barstool to look at the girl*

    College Girl: “Quit talking to my boyfriend, you stupid w****!”

    Regular: “Miss, we were just having a polite conversation.”

    College Girl: “You think you can steal my boyfriend, you ugly b****?” *she shoves the regular’s shoulder for emphasis* “Stupid f***ing s***! You wanna try and steal my boyfriend?”

    Regular: “Miss, I’m afraid you’ve misunderstood. I have a boyfriend of my own.” *untucks a set of dog-tags from her shirt as proof* “I wasn’t hitting on your boyfriend; we were just having a nice chat. Please calm down.”

    College Girl: “You think you can just hit on my boyfriend, you f***ing s***? F*** you, you fat ugly b****!”

    (She shoves the regular again, and by now I am furiously trying to flag down the bouncer. The bar has gone quiet, and the girls’ friends have nervously gathered behind her to watch the spectacle.)

    Regular: “Miss, please do not touch me again.”

    College Girl: “You wanna start something, b****? You wanna start something with me? Come on, you stupid w****!”

    (Another shove, and this time the regular stands from her stool.)

    Regular: “Miss, I’ve asked you nicely, but now I’m telling you. Do. Not. Touch. Me. Again.”

    College Girl: “Let’s go, w****! I’ll f*** you up!”

    (Mid-sentence, she tries to shove my regular again, but this time the regular catches the college girl’s arm and delivers a powerful right cross to her face, knocking her out cold. The regular watches the drunk college girl drop to the floor like a sack of potatoes, then sits back down on her barstool and turns back to the bar. The college girl’s friends proceed to pick the woozy girl up off the ground in time for bouncer to escort them all to the parking lot.)

    Regular: *to the bouncer* “Me, too?”

    Bouncer: “H***, no! I saw the whole thing, girl! You sit your a** back on that stool and order a beer on me.”

    (The regular and I exchange smiles as I pull her usual up from the cooler. It’s at this point that we both notice that the college guy who was the cause of the whole mess looking at the regular with his jaw on the floor.)

    Regular: “Hey, man, sorry about your girlfriend, but I did warn her.”

    College Guy: “Okay, let me stop you right there. That was not my girlfriend. I had never even met that girl before tonight. I have no idea what the h*** she was talking about. And that was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. So the bouncer can get the next round, but that one’s on me.”

    (One of the girl’s friends ended up coming back in and apologizing for her pal’s erratic behavior, and offered to buy a round for my regular, too. After that night, every regular in the place usually bought one for ‘One-Punch’ whenever she came in, until she moved away to marry her soldier boyfriend!)

    Christmas Housing Crisis

    | Vancouver Island, BC, Canada | Bigotry, Holidays, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (For Christmas, the bakery I work at makes elaborate gingerbread houses, complete with some reindeer, Santa, and a few trees. Understandably, the whole thing is rather fragile, and pricey, and we wrap them carefully and display them on top of the pastry case with signs requesting that customers seek help before handling them. A customer walks in and wanders up to the display case and starts to examine the gingerbread houses. As Christmas is busy, my coworkers and I are not paying attention, she ends up breaking the reindeer and some trees in one of the gingerbread houses when she handled it.)

    Customer: “Excuse me!”

    (There’s a line of ten people in front of her, so we politely but quickly ask her to step in line. She shakes the very fragile gingerbread house at us.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! I want to buy a gingerbread house! This one is broken!”

    (As the most senior front end employee, I end up walking to the front and helping her.)

    Me: “I’m terribly sorry. We have others.”

    (I start to reach for an intact one, but she shakes the one she’s holding, breaking it further.)

    Customer: “No! Those ones are probably just as stale as this one. That’s why it broke! You shouldn’t be selling your customers such cheap product.”

    Me: “No, ma’am, it broke because you’ve been shaking it. I can assure you that they were all put together yesterday.”

    Customer: “Real gingerbread doesn’t break like that! I want to speak to your manager!”

    Me: “I’m the worker in charge tonight, ma’am, and I can assure you that, when shaken, gingerbread breaks like most other pastries.”

    (She fumes and reached for another one. I quickly intercept and, after a few bitter words, she allows me to take down the gingerbread house she wants. Before letting her touch it, though, I turned it carefully so she could see that it was all intact. I then ring her in, charging double, which she was quick to jump on.)

    Customer: “What? They’re $45 dollars! I will not pay $100 for a gingerbread house!”

    Me: “No, ma’am, the broken ones are $45. Some people prefer them in bite size pieces. The intact ones take much longer to prepare, so we have to charge extra.”

    Customer: “This f***ing store is a godd*** disgrace! Owned by an Arab!” she’s referring to the head pastry chef who is Filipino* “-and a f***ing c****!” *referring to me, as I’m half-Chinese*

    (She throws a $100 bill on the counter and storms off, almost knocking an elderly man to the ground when she opens the door to leave. I ended up using the extra $50 to buy the other customers hot drinks, and passed out the broken gingerbread to accompany the beverages. Needless to say, we got some pretty amazing tips that night. The customer came back to complain later when the owners were around, but the head chef’s husband gave her a proper telling off when he heard her refer to his wife as an Arab.)

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