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    Category: Wild & Unruly

    No Kidding About The Kid

    | MD, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (A customer is loudly talking on her phone while ignoring her young son. He’s already thrown his jacket to the floor and has run around the store several times, bumping into other customers. Suddenly the boy grabs a cake server off the shelf and begins waving it around in the air making light-saber noises.)

    Me: “Honey, be careful with that. I wouldn’t want to see you get hurt.”

    Customer #1: “Brian!”

    (The little boy drops the cake server then begins stomping around the store once again.)

    Customer #1: *to the phone* “So yeah, these ones have butterflies on them.”

    (The little boy seizes this opportunity to run behind the counter and begin messing with the engraving machines. I immediately pick him up and place him next to his mother.)

    Me: “Here, honey. Stay with your mom.”

    Customer #1: “DON’T TOUCH MY BABY! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, he could have seriously hurt himself. We work with dangerous equipment.”

    Customer #1: “I can’t believe you would touch my son! How dare you!”

    (At this point, I’m biting my tongue to keep from telling her off when another customer interjects.)

    Customer #2: “Lady, if you would get off the d*** phone and watch your brat this nice woman wouldn’t have to save his life!”

    Customer #1: “I’ll never shop here again!” *to me* “There has to be a law against molesting children like that! I’ll make sure you lose your job for this!” *storms out*

    Chunder Mountain

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

    (I operate a pretty big roller coaster for a ticket run theme park.)

    Father: *to his 10 year old* “Shall we ride?”

    Son: “We just had lunch.”

    Father: “You’re a chicken. I’ll ride it myself!”

    Me: “Sir, just so you know, this ride is bumpy and has a lot of quick stops. It isn’t very fun on a full stomach.”

    Father: “How would you know? Have you ever tried?”

    Me: “No, but I’ve been doing this job for 3 years now.”

    Father: “Well, I’ll show you, and I’ll sit in the very back.”

    Me: “If you say so; the customer is always right. Have fun!”

    (The father boards the ride, and I keep an eye on him. As I predicted, he isn’t going doing so well and is clutching his stomach throughout the ride. When the ride finally jerks to a stop, the puke flies.)

    Son: “Dad, I told you not to do it!”

    Shatter-Resistant, Not Idiot-Resistant

    | ME, USA | Bad Behavior, Wild & Unruly

    Customer #1: “Hey, these bowls say shatter-resistant… that means that don’t break, right?”

    Me: “Well, it doesn’t mean they don’t break. ‘Shatter-resistant’ just means they’re much harder to break.”

    Customer #1: “Huh… that’s really neat.”

    (Customer #1 and #2 seem fascinated by shatter-resistant bowls, and thus begin to experiment. They begin to tap the bowls, nicking the bowls with their finger. One even starts to lightly bang it on the shelf. Then Customer #1 nods to Customer #2, and then SUMO SLAMS the bowl at full force into the ground, shattering the bowl to pieces.)

    Customer #1: “Wha… why did the bowl break?”

    Me: “As I said, the bowls were shatter-resistant not shatter-proof.”

    Customer #2: “But they broke!” *to Customer #1* “That’s false advertisement.”

    Customer #1: “Yeah! That’s false advertisement! I want my money back.”

    Me: “Um, you didn’t buy anything, though.”

    Customer #1: “So! That’s false advertisement! I demand my money back or to talk to your manager.”

    (I decide at this point that I doubt these customers will even listen to me, so I call down my manager.)

    Manager: “Hello there. How may I help you today?”

    Customer #1: “These bowls say they are shatter-resistant, but they still broke when I dropped it on the ground! That means it’s false advertisement.”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, but shatter resistant means it’s harder to break. It does not mean it’s shatter proof.”

    Customer #1: “Well, I want my money back for this worthless product.”

    Manager: “Well, we can do that if you have your receipt.”

    Customer #1: “Oh, I didn’t buy any of them yet.”

    Customer #2: “But it’s false advertisement. She deserves her money back.”

    Manager: “Ma’am, I cannot refund you your money if you didn’t buy anything.”

    Customer #1: “But it’s false advertisement! I want my money back.”

    Manager: “Again, I can’t refund you your money if you didn’t buy anything…”

    (These two customers went back and forth with my manager for at least a half hour. My manager had security escort them out because they began to break more bowls to prove their point!)

    An Accidental Hero

    | WI, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a grocery store. I see two teenage boys come in and grab a few things.)

    Teenager #1: *slightly dazed * “Hey… can I ask you a question?

    Me: “Um… sure?”

    Teenager #1: “Do we look bad?”

    Me: “Bad? How do you mean bad?”

    Teenager #1: “Like, you know, accident-bad?”

    Me: “Well, I did notice you two are a bit scuffed up.”

    Teenager #1: “We flipped our four wheeler when some guy tried to run us off the road.”

    Me: “Oh my gosh! Are you both alright?”

    Teenager #1: “We think so. All we want to do is just get our stuff for tonight and head back home.”

    (Just then, the other teenager promptly keels over. I call my manager and we get an ambulance to store. The EMTs check out both and report that they are both good and that the second one only passed out from the shock that settled in. Once the EMT gets the other teen to come around I used my house account to get them some water and a snack bar to help settle them. I then offer to take them home since I lived near by once they told the EMT where they lived. At first they didn’t want to because the first teen didn’t want to leave his four wheeler, but my manager says that it can be put in the back of my truck; and they seemed to be alright with that. About a week later, I get called to the service desk by the same manager.)

    Me: “Yes?”

    Manager: *smiles some* “You have two people who want to see you.”

    (I look and it’s the two teenagers from that night and they hand me a carnation, a lottery ticket, and thank me for what I did!)

    Getting Out Of A Scrape

    | Cuyahoga Falls, OH, USA | Liars & Scammers, Technology, Wild & Unruly

    (I work for a well-known electronics store chain that has their own repair section for electronics. A high school-aged customer brings in her laptop to be checked out.)

    Customer: “I have no idea what’s wrong! It just won’t do anything.”

    (My coworker takes her laptop and runs a virus scan.)

    Coworker: “You have quite a few viruses. It’ll be [price] to remove them.”

    Customer: “Oh, but I have a warranty! Those are covered, right?”

    Coworker: “Unfortunately, the plan you have only covers accidental physical damage.”

    Customer: “Who the f*** do you guys think you are? You’re nothing! You have to fix this!”

    Coworker: “Unfortunately, we can’t unless you pay.”

    (The customer grabs the laptop and leaves the store. It’s a slow day, so we’re joking around near the front doors when we see the girl open her laptop, place it on the asphalt, step and scrape it into the ground, before picking it back up and bringing it back in.)

    Customer: “While I was walking to the car, I accidentally dropped it!”

    Me: “You know, we saw you scraping it up outside, right? You did it right in front of the window.”

    Customer: “NO, IT WAS ACCIDENTAL DAMAGE! YOU CAN’T PROVE THAT I DID THIS!”

    Coworker: “We can always go get the security footage.”

    (The customer made a huge fuss, so our manager agreed to take and send the laptop to the service center. Big surprise: it got sent back unrepaired because it wasn’t accidental damage.)

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