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    Category: Wild & Unruly

    Tray Fray

    , | Burlington, VT, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (Due to new public safety standards, we now have to machine wash all dirty trays instead of merely wiping them down with a disinfectant and paper towel.)

    Me: “You’re order will be right out, ma’am. Thank you.”

    (My coworker brings out her bag of food.)

    Customer: “I said I wanted this for here.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, but as I mentioned all our trays are dirty and we’re only bagging the food at the moment. You’re more than welcome to eat in the lobby if you’d like, but we can’t offer you a tray.”

    Customer: “What about those?” *points to dirty pile of trays over a trash can* “Can’t I just have one of those?”

    Me: “Uh, no ma’am. Those are all dirty trays. I can’t give you any of those.”

    Customer: “Just wipe one down; it’ll be fine.”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am, I can’t do that. It’s against health codes.”

    Customer: “Just wipe it down! You’re just being lazy!”

    (Note: the customer is getting so agitated that other customers are backing away from her.)

    Me: “No, I’m not. I’m really just waiting for the trays to be brought back up from the dish area. They’ll be clean soon.”

    Customer: “God, I can’t believe you’d be so rude and lazy not to give me a tray!”

    (Without warning, the customer throws her bag full of food at my face. It’s filled with cardboard sandwich boxes and hot fries inside, so she takes a solid chunk out of my cheek and I start bleeding.)

    Customer: “That’ll teach you to be rude to a customer!” *shoves two customers out of the way and leaves*

    Please Keep All Cybernetics Inside The Ride At All Times

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work as an attendant for a theme park roller coaster. We have had an incident where a guest’s $10,000, custom-made prosthetic leg fell off while he was riding the coaster and landed in the moat below. Thanks to that, the park changed their policy to not allow anyone to bring a prosthetic limb onto any ride; now they must be stored in lockers with other personal belongings.)

    Me: “How many in your party, sir?”

    Guest: “Two.”

    Me: “Row three, please. Right this way.”

    Guest: “Hold on.”

    (He bends over, unsnaps something, pulls his leg out of his jeans, straightens up and hands it to me.)

    Me: “Uh…”

    Guest: “Could you hold onto this while I ride?”

    Me: *unable to take my eyes off the prosthetic being offered* “I, uh… I’m sorry, sir. You’ll have to store that in the lockers out front.”

    Guest: “You mean I have to go through the whole line again?”

    Me: *visibly shivering* “You, um, I mean, I can give you a pass to let you back into the leg -I mean- front of the line.”

    Guest: “Well, that sure is a pain.”

    (He starts hobbling around to put his leg back on, when new guests start coming down the queue. At the front of the line is a little boy, maybe 6 or 7 years old, and his mother.)

    Little Boy: *wide-eyed and pointing at the one-legged man* “Look, mommy! That man’s a robot!”

    Mother: “You’re making that man feel bad. You apologize to him!”

    Little Boy: *suddenly terrified* “Is he gonna shoot me with his lasers?”

    Guest: *in a silly computer-like voice* “DON’T WORRY, YOUNG HUMAN PERSON. I ONLY SHOOT BAD GUYS WITH MY LASERS. BEEP BOOP.”

    Little Boy: “Whoooooaaaaaa!”

    He Has His Wires Crossed

    | Lismore, NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid, Wild & Unruly

    Me: “Welcome to [company], this is [name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I want instructions to wire up my phone socket to the mains to boost the signal.”

    (Our phone lines use a 12 V signal while main power is 240v V Connecting the two would be a very bad idea.)

    Me: *shocked* “Are you a trained electrician?”

    Customer: “No. Why would I want to be one?”

    Me: “You do know that the phone systems uses a 12 V system while the mains is 240 V?”

    Customer: “So?”

    Me: “Only authorized and trained people can work on a phone line. You are neither.”

    Customer: *sighs*That is why I am wanting the instructions to wire the phone socket to the mains!”

    Me: “Sir, if by some miracle you do not kill yourself wiring the two together you would be personally responsible for the cost of replacing a multimillion dollar telephone exchange that you would blow up by doing that wiring. Do you understand?”

    (A moment of silence as the customer thinks this through.)

    Customer: “I don’t like your attitude. Transfer me to someone more sympathetic to my needs.”

    Me: “How about I transfer you to faults. They know about wiring, and we both know you will be there sooner or later.”

    Customer: “They can tell me how to wire it up?”

    Me: “I will get them to tell you themselves.”

    (I put the customer on hold while I contact Faults department.)

    Faults: “Hello this is [name] in Faults.”

    Me: “I am so sorry to give this to you, but I have a customer demanding how to wire the phone socket into the mains.”

    Faults: “What?”

    Me: “I have explained to him if he did not manage to kill himself wiring it up, then he would be liable for the replacement cost of the exchange but he insists on being transferred to someone more sympathetic.”

    Faults: “It’s going to be one of those days, isn’t it?”

    No Shame In The Blame Game

    | Boston, MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Wild & Unruly

    (We sell candles and during sales usually make a mountain out of our left over stock on a display table. A young girl around age 10 has picked up one of the candles from the group, sniffed it and put it back down and began to walk away. Suddenly a loud crash sounds and several candles on the other side of the table fall to the floor. A woman had just picked up a candle and is standing in front of the fallen candles.)

    Woman: “I didn’t do it! It was that kid’s fault!”

    Kid: “What? The candles fell on your side of the table.”

    Woman: “Shut up you little brat! I saw you knock over those candles! You should be ashamed of yourself! This is why kids should not be allowed in public. Where is your mother!?”

    (Having witnessed the ordeal, I walk over and chime in.)

    Me: “Ma’am, she wasn’t touching the candles when they fell, and you are holding the same scent of candle that is on the floor.”

    Woman: “This is what is wrong with kids today! They are so sheltered! They have no idea how to take responsibility for their actions! How will they function in the real world?” *looks to the little girl* “You are in for a nasty shock when mommy and daddy are no longer around, brat!”

    (The whole store is watching in silence. My manager walks over.)

    Manager: “Ma’am I am going to have to ask you to pay for the items you smashed or leave the store.”

    Woman: *dumbfounded* “I am a loyal, paying customer. You can’t treat me this way! You are only making me pay because this brat doesn’t have any money. I will never shop here again!”

    Manager: “Good. Now leave. We’re a family-friendly establishment.”

    Woman: “Children are ruining society!” *storms out*

    (The little girl seemed a little upset but was not crying and said she was okay. Another customer bought her a nice perfume and body lotion set and our manager gave her one of our rubber ducks!)

    Stop Trucking Swearing

    | North Las Vegas, NV, USA | Bad Behavior, Wild & Unruly

    (I am working as a desk worker for a vehicle impound company. I have a male coworker who stays in the office to keep me safe and to actually go and get the cars, so that I stay safely behind the wall.)

    Me: “Hi there. Can I help you?”

    Customer: *angrily* “Yeah, I’m here to get my truck you stole.”

    Me: “Alright, I just need the vehicle information. VIN number, make, model, and color.”

    Customer: “Yeah, it’s [VIN number].”

    Me: “Alright, here it is.”

    (I print out the statement of charges and take them to the window.)

    Me: “So, here’s a breakdown of your charges: your total is [price], and I’ll need to see proof of ownership and a photo ID.”

    Customer: “WHAT?! I’m not paying that! This is bulls***! You guys f***ing stole my truck, and you expect me to pay to get it back?!”

    Me: “Sir, I must ask you to refrain from swearing at me. It says here your car was towed because your registration expired over a year ago. I’m sorry, but I can’t release your vehicle to you without this fee.”

    Customer: “F*** you! How the f*** do you expect people to afford this s***?!”

    Me: “Sir, please calm down. If you can’t afford it today, I have to inform you that it’ll continue to go up by [cost] every day until you can.”

    (At this point, he lunges through the iron bars and grabs my wrist. My male coworker jumps up, but I manage to pull away. The man takes off out of the office. My coworker watches him out of the window.)

    Coworker: “If he comes back, stand back a little. He does that again, just duck.”

    (Sure enough, the customer comes back about an hour later. He seems calmer, but my coworker still stands up and grabs one of the many baseball bats he keeps throughout the office building. He stands off to the left of the window, out of sight of the man.)

    Customer: “Alright, how f***ing much is it again?”

    Me: “Sir, please refrain from swearing. Here’s your price breakdown.”

    (I hand him the statement and he looks over it, getting more agitated.)

    Customer: “What the f*** does all this s*** mean? You motherf***ers are trying to rob me blind! No one could afford this! You’re all a bunch of f***ing* thieves!”

    (At this point, he reaches through the bars again, almost touching his face to the bars. I jump back, and my coworker swings the titanium bat, smacking against the bars and making a horrendous ringing sound.)

    Coworker: “You get out—now! Or next time, it’ll be your head!”

    Customer: *reeling* “Oh yeah, tough guy?! Come on out here and say that!”

    (My coworker heads for the door separating the office from the customer area. As he opens it, the customer sees my coworker, all 6’1″, 250 lbs of pure muscle that he is, and takes off out the door, into the car with whoever was driving him, and they peel out of the parking lot. As far as I know, he never came back for his truck.)

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