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    Category: Wild & Unruly

    Talking Turkey About Working Here

    | Lansing, MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I am shopping at a grocery store, when another customer reaches into my cart and grabs a package of ground turkey. It was on sale, so I was buying eight packages of it. Of note, I am wearing a black t shirt and blue jeans; the store employees wear blue vests and nametags.)

    Me: “Excuse me, what are you doing?”

    Woman: “I’m trying to help you out. God, you can’t even say thank you?”

    Me: “How does taking food out of my shopping cart help me?”

    Woman: “Now you don’t have to go put this one back. Geez, you’re welcome.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m a customer here. If you take my food, it means I have to go back and pick up another one. That’s not helping.”

    Woman: “Don’t lie to me, boy. No one would buy this much turkey at once.”

    Me: “I would. It’s on sale, and I’ve got a chest freezer at home, so I can buy a lot when it’s on sale and use it up gradually. Please give me back my food.”

    Woman: “It’s mine now. And I’m going to complain to your supervisor. You shouldn’t be so rude to your customers.”

    Me: “Since I don’t work here, good luck with that.”

    (I decided it wasn’t worth arguing with her anymore, and went to go get another package of turkey. I hope she did try to complain to a manager.)

    Benefitting From A College Education

    | UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m the customer here, looking at body jewelry in a popular alternative retail store. To be fair I have several facial piercings and my hair is pink. I’m right out of school so I still have my ID badge hanging out of my pocket.)

    Lady: “Excuse me!”

    Me: “Whoops, sorry, hon.”

    (I move out of the way. She follows me and gets in my face.)

    Lady: “I said EXCUSE ME! I need something out of that case.”

    Me: “No, I don’t work—”


    Me: “I don’t work here! Find someone who does, or better yet, don’t, you nutcase.”

    (She grabs my ID out of my pocket and heads deeper into the store screaming for a manager. Of course I follow, now pretty upset myself.)

    Lady: “I want you to fire this god d*** b**** of an employee right now! I did not come in here to be disrespected by some brat who doesn’t know how to respect her elders!”

    Manager: “Ma’am, she does not work here.”

    (The lady waves my ID at him with a triumphant look.)

    Manager: “Okay, go ahead and give me her ID. Hmm, well, doesn’t look like I can fire her from being a college student, but I can try if it will make you feel better.”

    (The lady takes a closer look, turns bright red, and runs out of the store, almost knocking over a display in her rush.)

    Me: “Well, that was something.”

    Manager: “If it’s not women like her it’s twelve year olds trying to sneak into the back. You’re fired. How about I take your discount card and give you those last three punches?”

    (He gave me my ID back and let me pick out a free piece of jewelry with my purchase.)

    Allergic Overreaction

    | Yorkshire, England, UK | Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a large chemist’s shop in North Yorkshire. I am about halfway through my shift when a woman comes running into the shop and up to the register. She is scratching herself really fast and making weird faces.)

    Me: “Good morning, ma’am. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “ALLERGIC REACTION!”

    Me: “I’m sorry…?”

    Customer: “ALLERGIC REACTION!”

    Me: “Okay… what about it?”


    (I was quite alarmed by this point and other customers in the shop were starting to stare.)

    Me: “Right, what caused your reaction? Is it animal related, or—”

    Customer: *scratching like mad* “I DON’T KNOW! ALLERGIC REACTION!”

    Me: “Yes, but to give you the correct medication we need to know what caused your reaction. What—”


    Me: “But, ma’am…”

    (The customer was now running around the store pulling items from the shelves before throwing them to the ground.)


    (The manager, hearing the commotion, runs out from the back room.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”


    Manager: “What caused your reaction, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I. DON’T. F******. KNOW!”

    Manager: “In that case we can’t help you. Have a nice day, ma’am.”


    (The customer runs out of the store screaming ‘ALLERGIC REACTION!’)

    Smoking Away The American Dream

    | WV, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

    (A family walks in and gets some cigarettes and snacks. They walk to their vehicle and after ten minutes, the father, who was pretty rude earlier, walks back inside.)

    Me: “Hello.”

    Customer: “I need a new pack of cigarettes.”

    Me: “Okay, sir, which kind?”

    Customer: *tells me name of the cigarettes*

    (I go to ring them up, at which point he stops me.)

    Customer: “No, no, no! I want to exchange the ones I just bought for those!”

    Me: “Okay, sir, may I have the other pack?”

    (The customer hands me the opened, and half-gone pack of cigarettes.)

    Me: “Sir, once these are opened, I am not allowed to return or exchange them.”

    Customer: *angrily* “THIS IS AMERICA!”

    (I am slightly thrown off and just stare for a moment. He widens his eyes and tilts his head forward wanting a response.)

    Me: “Sir, I know this is America, but with THAT logic, I can go to a bank, rob it, scream ‘THIS IS AMERICA,’ and run out with no repercussions. This IS most definitely America, but we have rules and policies here that we still have to follow.”

    Customer:“I have the receipt!!”

    Me: *knowing full-well he declined the receipt when I offered it to him* “Sir, even with a receipt I cannot return an opened and incomplete item to the shelf.”

    Customer: “Give me my receipt!”

    (I print it out and hand it to him. He leaves and his son enters.)

    Son: “I need to exchange these.” *lays receipt on counter*

    (At this point I am very agitated.)

    Me: “Sir, I cannot exchange or return open and incomplete items.”

    Son: “But I have a receipt!”

    Me: “Sir, I’m sorry but it doesn’t matter. The cigarettes are open and several have been taken out. All I can do is ring up a new pack.”

    Son: “Can I have my money back for these, then?”

    Me: “No, sir, the pack is opened and some are missing.”

    Son: “Well, I’ll just keep the pack. You just give me my money!”

    Me: “That’s not how this works. I can’t give you a refund and let you keep the pack. But I can’t give you a refund on incomplete and used items anyway.”

    (At this point THE WHOLE family comes in and is yelling at me in another language, screaming occasionally ‘This is America!’ and ‘I know my rights!’)

    Son: “We want to see the policy that states you can’t take these back and give us a refund.”

    Me: “It isn’t written anywhere. It’s common sense.”

    Son: “I want to speak to a manager!”

    (Only one person is on shift at a time. Managers are not on site either.)

    Me: “No managers are currently on site, sir.”

    (This is also at 12 am and we are directed to leave any complaining customers with the store phone number and a time when managers will be available.)

    Son: “Then give me their personal number!”

    Me: “At 12 am? Sir, I can guarantee if you call them at 12 am, you will not get what you are wanting. Besides, we are not allowed to give customers personal numbers. I can give you the store number and a time when a manager will be available, but that’s really all I can do.”

    Son: “I’m calling the cops, then.”

    Me: “That’s fine. Please do.”

    Son: “You are a horrible employee!”

    Me: “Tell me, would YOU buy a pack of cigarettes that was ready opened? Or want to even use a pack of cigarettes that someone you know nothing about opened and touched?”

    Son: “…no.”

    Me: “Exactly. So why would you expect someone else to do the same?”


    The Sorry State Of Customer Service

    | Foley, AL, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Home Improvement, Wild & Unruly

    (It is my first day working the customer service desk, and a customer is cussing and yelling because I can’t do a return for him. One of my coworkers, famous for being very patient and good with difficult customers, happens to wander by. I’m nervous, so I flag her over.)

    Coworker: “Oh, [My Name], do you want some help?”

    Customer: “Help?! I need help! That f***** b**** won’t take back my return! This is s***!”

    Coworker: “Did you call the manager?”

    Me: “Yeah, and he said we couldn’t do anything.”

    Customer: “And that’s bulls***!”

    (My coworker looks unimpressed. I explain why we can’t do the return to her.)

    Coworker: “Hmm. Okay, well, I know he said no, but I think he’s actually wrong. I’ll take care of this. Sir, will you come with me?”

    Customer: “No! I’m standing here at this d*** desk until you fix my d*** problem!”

    Coworker: “Okay. Suit yourself.”

    (The customer keeps swearing and yelling until my coworker returns.)

    Coworker: “Okay, we’re going to make an exception. Boss’s orders.”

    Customer: “Finally! I’ve been here for f***** ever!”

    (I do the return, and as I’m about to hand the customer his money, my coworker holds her hand up to stop me.)

    Coworker: “Sir, I want to make it very clear that if I had any choice at all, I wouldn’t do this for you, and if you EVER come in here again and swear or yell at my coworkers, my boss, or me, I will personally see that you are escorted from this store, by the police if necessary. You should be ashamed of yourself for acting like this and making [My Name] feel like she’s not doing a good job because she is doing a marvellous one.”

    Customer: “I… I’m sorry.”

    Coworker: “No, you aren’t, and quite frankly, I don’t care. I’ve said my piece. Now here is your money, Sir. Have a splendid Thanksgiving.”

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