Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Using The Lord’s Name Doesn’t Deliver
    (1,681 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Wild & Unruly

    A Hit Of Caffeine

    | CA, USA | Bizarre, Wild & Unruly

    (The bakery closes at two pm every Sunday. I am out on the patio about an hour after closing, sweeping and stacking furniture. A middle-aged customer and her elderly mother approach.)

    Daughter: “Oh, hi! We’d like to get some coffee, please.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but the coffee’s all gone now. We’re closed.”

    Daughter: “You are?”

    Me: “Yes. I’m afraid we close at two on Sundays.”

    Mother: “Oh, you bad girl!”

    (The customer proceeds to hit me with her rolled up newspaper, leaving me speechless!)

    How To Re-Tire Bad Customers

    | WI, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Transportation, Wild & Unruly

    (It’s Black Friday and I have a noon shift. I have been berated and belittled by most of the customers since most of the doorbusters have been sold out.)

    Rude Customer: “WHY even advertise this if you don’t keep it in stock!? That’s stupid! If you run out you shouldn’t advertise it!”

    (There are two younger customers behind them, a guy and a girl.)

    Girl: “You know… sometimes I just wanna make people suffer ya know? Like mentally. Like I wanna slash the tires of some real ignorant a** so they can’t go on and abuse another cashier.”

    Guy: “I have that hunting knife in my car still. Wanna do it once we’re out of here?”

    Girl: “We could. I have one target it picked out.”

    (The rude customer shuts up and pays quietly and quickly runs out the door. I eye up the couple not sure if I should report the threat or not. The girl grins at me.)

    Girl: “Got her to shut up.”

    Me: “Wait. You weren’t serious?”

    Girl: “Please. I could never do that.”

    Guy: “I could…”

    The Situation Is Unraveling And Unwrapping

    | Gulf Shores, AL, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (We offer gift wrapping where I work. Customer #1 has had her gifts wrapped BEFORE she purchases them, so I have no idea what she’s buying. She goes to get one of each item from the shelves. Instead of bringing all her items up at once, she proceeds to get them one piece at a time and insist that each one is ringing up wrong, even when they aren’t. Meanwhile, a customer comes up behind her.)

    Me: “Sorry, we’re just waiting a bit.”

    Customer #2: “Oh, it’s fine.”

    (Customer #1 comes up with another shirt. I ring it up and, again, she argues about the price. It’s only a dollar difference so I just give it to her.)

    Customer #1: “Wait! How the h*** am I supposed to know what I bought? How do I know what is in each box?”

    Me: “I have no idea, Ma’am.”

    Customer #1: “Well, you’re just useless, aren’t you? Void me out! I’m going to unwrap all of these, have them rewrapped, and then buy them!” *turning to Customer #2* “God, can you believe the people they hire here?”"

    Customer #2: “Honestly, I can’t.”

    (Satisfied, Customer #1 moves down the counter and starts angrily unwrapping presents. Customer #2 puts her stuff on the counter, and in the process drops a candle.)

    Me: “Oh! Did that break? You can get another one.”

    (Customer #1 mutters something about me giving her a hard time and being too nice to Customer #2.)

    Customer #2: “Oh, no. It’s fine.”

    (Customer #2 places her candle on the counter, and I continue ringing her things up. As I start to ring up her jacket, I pull out the coat hanger and accidentally drop it. It hits Customer #2 in the chest.)

    Me: “Oh, my God. I am SO sorry!”

    Customer #2: *laughing* “Oh, I see how you are! I drop something in your floor, and you assault me!”

    Customer #1: “Oh, my God! I saw everything! I’ll be a witness if you want, and you can sue her for all she’s worth.”

    Customer #2: “Are you serious?”

    Customer #1: “Absolutely. You can HAVE her job.”

    Customer #2: “And have to deal with jerks like you all the time? Uh, no thanks!”

    (Customer #1 storms off.)

    Customer #2: “Thank God, eh? As I was saying, I can’t believe that [Retail Store] managed to find such a patient employee!”

    Didn’t See The Kicker

    | Pensacola, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Wild & Unruly

    (My girlfriend is a cashier, and I am a customer in her line. There’s a customer in front of me, giving her a hard time. He writes a check and hands it to her.)

    Girlfriend: “I’m sorry, sir, but our system has declined your check.”

    Customer: “What? I’m a millionaire! That’s not possible!”

    Girlfriend: “Well, actually, I think it’s because the license and check are from different states. It’s to prevent identity theft.”

    Customer: “Well, thank you for nothing, worthless b****! I know you did this on purpose!”

    Girlfriend: “Sir, I can assure you I didn’t. Now. Do you have another form of payment?”

    Customer: “No! You d*** b****! You’re just being totally worthless! Why don’t we take this out to the parking lot?”

    Me: “Oh, can I film that?”

    Girlfriend: *smiling* “Absolutely.”

    Customer: “What the h*** are you talking about?”

    Me: “Oh, didn’t you know? She’s a championship kickboxer. I just want to film her kicking your a**.”

    (The customer huffs and stomps away.)

    Girlfriend: “Aw, why did you scare him off? I was looking forward to that.”

    All Snowing, Not All Knowing

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Transportation, Wild & Unruly

    Man: “Hey, bro. Do you know when the number seven bus is coming?”

    Me: “It should’ve been here five minutes ago.”

    Man: “Un-f******-believable. I bet you anything the driver’s a woman or old.”

    Me: “Um… or this heavy snow delayed the bus, as it has for the last two days.”

    (Five minutes later…)

    Man: “F*** sakes, I got places to be. B**** needs to hurry up!”

    Me: “Calm down, man. You don’t know what happened.”

    Man: “Stop trying to stick up for these f****** lazy-a** drivers.”

    (I decide not to bother. Ten minutes later the bus arrives. We get on.)

    Man: “F****** finally. We’ve been waiting for an hour in the snow!”

    Driver: “I’m sorry. I was delayed by an accident. Sounds pretty bad; I had to be rerouted so the ambulances could get there.”

    (The man goes silent.)

    Me: “I hope you’re f****** happy now.”


    Page 10/61First...89101112...Last