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    Category: Wild & Unruly

    She’s Going To Have Kittens

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Pets & Animals, Wild & Unruly

    (I volunteer at a cat shelter and am usually on care duties, but I manage adoptions when there isn’t a more experienced coworker available. On this day I’m one of only two people working, so when someone interested in adoption enters, I take care of them.)

    Customer: “I’m looking for a cat that’s docile and easy to care for, but isn’t scared of everything or so shy you never see it. Y’know?”

    (There are many cats that match this description, so I introduce them to the first three that stick out in my mind and invite them to take a look around the shelter on their own while I take care of the other units. They thank me and I leave for ten minutes. I later catch up with them as they’re exiting the kitten unit.)

    Customer: “I found the perfect one!”

    Me: “Oh, really? That’s great! Which one?”

    Customer: “The little black and grey one just in there.” *points*

    (There are two matching that description, so I invite them back into the unit with me and they show me the kitten they want. To my horror, it’s one of the worst-behaved cats we have, deceptive in that it will purr and cuddle you before it pisses all over your clothes and tears up the blinds.)

    Me: “Oh… this one? I feel like I should warn you that she’s had behavioural issues in the past. She’s the reason this room doesn’t have any cushions in it and she has a bad track for urinating on clothes. I wouldn’t recommend her over the other cats I showed you.”

    Customer: “What?! No! You must be thinking of that one.” *gestures to the other black and grey kitten, with distinctly different facial markings, sleeping in a bed* “This one’s so sweet. She just came right up to me and cuddled me the entire time I was in here.”

    Me: “No, I’m positive it’s this one. She is very loving, but she’ll shred all your furniture. I’m afraid that if you adopt her you’ll have to spend a lot of your time working through her destructiveness, if you can at all. Since you’re looking for an easy to care for cat, I really don’t think she’d be a good match.”

    Customer: “Blah! This is the one I want. I’m sure of it. Don’t you want them to get adopted?”

    (We argue back and forth for a short while. I’m reluctant to put their application through to the shelter owner, but they’re insistent, and I don’t have the option not to, anyway. Three days later they pay and pick the kitten up. They arrive at the shelter again in two weeks and catch me as I’m emptying litter boxes.)

    Customer: “You! You’re the person who let me adopt that s***-brained f****** cat! I should sue this place!”

    Me: *remembering them* “You adopted the black and grey kitten that I specifically warned you not to adopt?”

    Customer: “Yes! She f***** up all my drapes and pissed on everything in my f****** closet! I should make you pay for the damage!”

    Me: “I’m sorry for your belongings, but I told you this would happen before you even placed your application. There’s nothing we can do to reimburse you.”

    Coworker: *approaching the shouting* “I can help you in the office. If you would follow me?”

    (They follow her, ranting about their drapes and my incompetence. Turns out the kitten did more than $500 worth of damage, but we’re in no way liable to compensate their loss. The kitten was returned to the shelter and was later adopted by a woman who was able to rehabilitate her.)

    He’s Just Been KO’d

    | Dearborn, MI, USA | Family & Kids, Technology, Underaged, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m shopping at my local major games retailer, where the staff and I have an excellent relationship. I am finishing up my transaction when I hear a 12ish-year-old boy convincing his mother to buy him ‘Call of Duty: Ghosts.’)

    Kid: “But Mom, all my friends are playing it! They’re already making fun of me because it took me so long to get a PS4!”

    Mom: “Okay, okay… and you’re sure this isn’t a bloody or inappropriate game? I don’t like the look of the soldier on the front. I don’t want you playing anything like that Grand Theft whatever game.”

    Kid: “Oh, my god, Mom. I’m not a little baby anymore! Just get me the d*** game!”

    (Seeing the looks of apprehension and dread on the faces of the two guys behind the counter, as they now have the unhappy task of explaining to the mother of this brat why she shouldn’t buy it, I step in.)

    Me: “Miss, you should know that game is horribly violent and gory. It depicts lots of blood, war scenes, even an enhanced interrogation scene where you slowly kill a man for information. It’s something you’ll want to consider before buying it for your son.”

    Mom: “Oh, my gosh! [Kid], is this true?!”

    Kid: “No, Mom. He’s lying! He’s just some random fat guy!”

    (At this little insult, I decide to really ruin the kids day.)

    Me: “Ma’am, are you familiar with the MPAA’s movie rating system? Like how they rate movies based on their content? Well there’s a similar body called the ESRB, and they rate all major video game releases for their content.”

    (I show her their emblem on the back along with the description for their rating.)

    Me: “They even have a website where you can look up more specific details on each game. It’s a good way to research them.”

    Mom: “Oh, wow… Thank you so much. Can I trouble you to recommend a game for him?”

    (At this point, the kid is jumping up and down in frustration, making a scene, yelling at his mother, and calling me a liar. We choose a game and the mom questions the staff.)

    Mom: “I’m in here all the time. Why have you never told me about this rating system?! That’s pretty irresponsible not to inform the parents.”

    Employee #1: “Honestly, ma’am, we didn’t know you were buying it for a kid. We would’ve mentioned it if we knew.”

    Mom: “Of course I bought it for my child! Honestly, what sort of adult plays these stupid games?”

    Employee #2: “Me, my associate, the gentleman who helped you, and everyone who works at this store, to name a few.”

    (The mom goes red and pays for the game.)

    Mom: *on their way out* “When we get home, young man, I’m looking up all your games on this ESRB thing!”

    Kid: “NO! DON’T LISTEN TO HIM! HE’S JUST A F****** FAT A**!”

    Deaf To Reason, Part 3

    | OH, USA | Bigotry, Language & Words, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m mute, but learned sign language as a way to communicate. Most people assume I’m deaf, and I usually don’t need to correct them. However, some people use this assumption to make comments. I’m at the mall.)

    Customer: “Miss, do you know where [Store] is?”

    Me: *signs that I only speak sign language*

    Customer: “Stupid deaf people. Shouldn’t be allowed the same place as us normal people! You ungrateful s*** had better stay the f*** away from me!”

    (I tear up a bit, but then the security officer, who understands sign language, comes over.)

    Security Officer: “Ma’am, please stop harassing her.”

    Customer: “What?! I did no such thing! I only asked her for directions! And, she’s deaf! How could she know?!”

    Security Officer: “She’s not deaf, ma’am. She heard every word. I’d like you to apologize to her.”

    Customer: “H***, no! She’s a little b**** who shouldn’t be out with the normal part of society!”

    Security Officer: “I’m going to ask you to leave now.”

    Customer: “Why?!”

    Security Officer: “You’re being disruptive and rude. You need to leave.”

    Customer: “She should leave! She’s wasting time and space!”

    Security Officer: “She isn’t screaming profanities, harassing others, or even being the least bit loud. I’m going to ask you one more time to leave the property.”

    (The customer refuses, and has to be dragged out by two other officers!)

    Related:
    Deaf To Reason, Part 2
    Deaf To Reason

    The Return Of The Ninja

    | NH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Wild & Unruly

    (I have a 14-hour shift because a friend of mine is out sick as she is having surgery. It’s about eight hours into the day, and a customer comes in, with something in a paper bag and a giant scowl on her face.)

    Me: “Hello, Ma’am. How may I help you today?”

    Guest: “Yes. I’d like to return this, please? Here’s my receipt, and I want the full amount back.”

    Me: “Yes, Ma’am. I’ll do what I can.”

    (I go to scan the receipt, and it’s declined, because she’s had the items for more than 90 days. We aren’t allowed to return things over that limit without a supervisor’s approval.)

    Me: “I’m very sorry ma’am, but my system is showing me that I can’t return these, due to the fact you purchased them more than 90 days ago.”

    Guest: “That’s f****** stupid! I demand to speak with your supervisor! I work in retail, and we return everything the guest gives us!”

    (I look over, and see my supervisor is busy dealing with another customer.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. If you’d just wait right over here for a moment, I’m sure he’ll be with you very shortly.”

    Guest: “No! I’ll not be treated this way!”

    (She takes out her purse, and slams her bag down on the guest services counter, throwing her store card and three gift cards at my face. I catch one, and dodge the others.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to leave, please. We do not allow that kind of behavior here. I’m very sorry for any inconvenience.”

    Guest: “You know what? You’re simply a stupid little s*** with no chance at ever being successful, or pretty!” *storms out*

    Customer In Line Behind Her: “Well, I never! Miss, you are beautiful, very kind, and I’m in awe of your ninja skills!”

    Me: “Thank you, ma’am. I appreciate it!”

    Driven Over The Edge

    , | TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Transportation, Wild & Unruly

    (My mother and I are entering a parking lot with the intent to go shopping when a large blue truck turns down the wrong lane and cuts us off. Trying to be courteous, my mom hurries to park in the nearest lot to allow him through. He sits there instead.)

    Driver: “F****** b**** driver.”

    Mom: “Excuse me?”

    Driver: “Yeah, I’m talking to you. You f****** b****es need to learn how to drive. You were going way too f****** fast down that lane and you almost hit me!”

    Mom: “I most certainly did not! You cut me off.”

    Driver: “The f*** I did, you b****! You cut ME off! I ought to slam the s*** out of your car, you f***.”

    Me: *getting angry* “Hey, inbred, I dare you.”

    Driver: *noticing me* “F*** you, you ugly w****!

    (He jerks his wheel toward us like he’s about to ram us and I stand my ground.)

    Me: “What was that about running our car over?”

    Driver: “Yeah, you keep talking, w****. I’m about to get out and f*** you up!”

    Me: “Try it.”

    (He hasn’t noticed this whole time that he’s in a parking lot full of witnesses and that one of these witnesses has gone in to get the police officer who acts as lot security. He’s outside listening, silently moving up along the truck waiting for the guy to do something.)

    Driver: “B****! Keep talking, you fat f*** skank b****. Need to f****** learn the right of way.”

    Me: “Buddy, from what I see, you’re just running your lip and making a moron out of yourself. Instead of turning into a larger humiliation, maybe you should drive on and shut up.”

    Driver: “F*** YOU!”

    (The driver again jerks his wheel and almost slams into the car parked near us.)

    Driver: “I’m going to f*** your face up, you c***!”

    (He climbs out of his truck and BAM! He’s instantly against the side of his truck with his arms behind his back, because the officer grabs hold of him once he’s stepped down.)

    Cop: “That’s assault, attempted assault, we’ll slap in attempted vehicular manslaughter if you open your mouth again, and on top of that driving while intoxicated. Thank you, ladies. Have a nice day!”

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