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    Category: Wild & Unruly

    Life Through An Outrageous Lens

    , | NH, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money, Wild & Unruly

    (At six o’clock in the morning I have just arrived at my job selling cameras for an electronics/appliances store. A woman comes in, wearing either a pink track suit or her pajamas, I am not sure which.)

    Customer: *waving the store flyer at me* “I want to buy this special package! The one with a camera body and two lenses for $500!”

    Me: “Okay. I’ll start getting those things for you.”

    (I went about, gathering the individual items from stock. When I total it all up, the bill is over $650.)

    Customer: “This is too much! This ad says it is $500!”

    Me: *turn to the supervisor* “This bundle isn’t adding up the way the flyer says it should. What’s up?”

    (The supervisor looks at the bill on the computer, then at the flyer, and explains.)

    Supervisor: “This is a special package deal the manufacturer sent us. It has two lower-quality lenses and a camera body in one box. We only got six of those packages and they sold out hours ago.”

    Customer: “This says two lenses and a camera for $500! I want it for this price, not $650!”

    (The supervisor calls the shift manager, who is a woman not easily swayed and not one to be trifled with. She explains the situation to the customer again. The two of them try to talk sense into the customer while I quietly withdraw and look for something else to do, hoping I don’t get drawn back into the fray. Eventually, the customer gets the message, or so I think.)

    Customer: “I don’t care what you say. I want this package at this price. If you won’t sell it to me, I’m leaving and I’m not coming back, ever again!”

    (Then she storms off to another part of the store. I think she is gone for good, so I put the items back on the shelves. I just finish when the woman in the pink pajamas comes back.)

    Customer: “I have decided. I am going to teach this store a lesson! I am going to buy all those things, and then I will go to customer service and return them!”

    Me: “Madam, please don’t involve me in your revenge.”

    (With no other choice I get her order together again and this time, she lets me ring it up. She swipes her credit card while I put all the boxes in a bag. Then, true to her word, she stomps straight to customer service. After she’s gone, I ask the supervisor:)

    Me: “If I have another customer like that, do I have to put up with her, or can I just tell her to get lost?”

    Supervisor: “Just put up with it and ring her up. She’s not ‘hurting’ anyone but herself and her credit rating. Everyone from you to the credit card company will know she’s an idiot.”

    (I had to grin at that and went through the rest of my hectic day with a smile.)

    Smoking Before She Even Gets Cigarettes

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Wild & Unruly

    (I am cashiering without a bagger at the farthest register from the front service center.)

    Me: “How are you doing today, ma’am?”

    Customer: “You need to go get me a pack of d*** cigarettes.” *continues texting*

    Me: “I’m not allowed to leave my register and don’t have a bagger to run and get some. How about you go grab them while I finish ringing up/bagging the rest of your items?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “I said, please go grab them while I finish your order. I can’t leave now.”

    Customer: “Did you seriously just say I… should go get them MYSELF?!”

    Me: “Yes, I did…”

    Customer: “OH, MY GOD! You can’t be serious! If you think I should go get them, then you are crazy!”

    (She then grabs a bagger who is obviously helping out another customer.)

    Customer: “You need to go get me my cigarettes now before I FLIP OUT!”

    Bagger: “…okay.”

    Customer: “And I am telling your manager about how rude you are!”

    Time For Them To Make Like A Tree And Leave

    | Washington, DC, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Home Improvement, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a small landscaping company that does tree replacements for trees removed during construction on sewer lines. These replacements are monitored by the county. My boss (one of the company owners) is replacing a tree at a wealthy man’s house.)

    Boss: *to homeowner* “Hello, sir. We are with [Landscape Company]. We are here to replace your [tree].”

    Homeowner: “About time you guys got here. I’ve been waiting for my replacement tree for months!”

    Boss: “Sorry about the wait, sir. We have your tree ready to plant.” *gestures to the tree*

    Homeowner: “I don’t want that piece of s***! I want a cherry like my neighbor got!”

    Boss: “I’m sorry, sir, this is the species of tree that was removed from your yard according to my planting permit. Your neighbor received a cherry because that’s what was removed from her yard.”

    Homeowner: “I don’t give a s*** what kind of tree was in my yard or hers before! If you plant that tree I will rip it out of the ground myself!

    Boss: “Then you don’t want us to replace the tree?”

    Homeowner: “That’s what I just said, you idiot! You really don’t need to be smart to be a landscaper, do you?”

    Boss: “I’m sorry you feel that way, sir. We will do everything we can to fix the problem. If you could just sign this document saying you rejected a replacement tree we will get everything sorted out for you.”

    (The homeowner signs the paper then goes back in his house. My boss tells me to load the tree back in the truck.)

    Me: “So, do we have to get him that cherry?”

    Boss: “H***, no! He rejected the tree on our contract and confirmed he would rather not have a tree. We aren’t obligated to give him s*** now! If he had been a bit nicer I would have pulled some strings and gotten him that cherry but forget that!”

    (My boss called our contact at the county office and explained that the homeowner had declined the replacement tree and signed the rejection papers. Apparently a month later the homeowner called to ask where his tree was and received the news that he rejected his replacement and would no longer be getting a new tree.)

    Bagged Himself A Steal

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Awesome Customers, Criminal/Illegal, Wild & Unruly

    (I work as a cart attendant at a popular retail store. It is a rather slow day and my coworker and I are getting ready to go get more carts when I hear our undercover security guard yelling.)

    Undercover Guard: “[Security Guard], stop this guy! He stole an iPod!”

    (The security guard heads the guy off at the front but the shoplifter pulls a knife.)

    Shoplifter: “Let me by or I’ll cut the s*** out of you!”

    (Due to company policy, the security guard has to let him pass due to safety reasons. The shoplifter tries to run out the entrance while a rather elderly looking man is entering. The elderly man then proceeds to clothesline the thief, jump on top of him, punch him in the face, and disarm him. The elderly man stands up.)

    Elderly Man: “I got him!”

    (All four of us are astonished at what has just happened. As the security guard hauls the shoplifter into the security office to await the police my fellow cart attendant and I start talking to the old man.)

    Coworker: “That was the coolest thing I’ve seen all year!”

    Me: “Yeah, where did you learn to do that!?”

    Elderly Man: “Oh, that was nothing! I learned how to do that from my DI in basic years ago!”

    (It turns out he was a Marine veteran who fought through WWII, the Korean War, and Vietnam! Needless to say the man was made an honorary employee and given the employee discount for life!)

    Has No Bridge Over These Troubled Waters

    | USA | Rude & Risque, Technology, Wild & Unruly

    (I am a retail rep at a well-known cellphone carrier store.)

    Customer: “I bought two phones two weeks ago. My brother’s doesn’t work. He says it has never turned on since he got it in the mail.”

    (I pull up the account to view if the device has been in use. Before I see this info…)

    Customer: “Oh, and how come his phone has a red square on the back but mine is white?”

    (For those who don’t know cell phones have liquid damage indicators that turn white to red when exposed to liquid.)

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. This device has liquid damage and is not covered by the warranty. You also didn’t add insurance to this line.”

    Customer: “So what does that mean?”

    Me: “You have to continue to pay on the phone and get a new one if your brother needs a phone.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s impossible. He said it never turned on since he got it.”

    Me: “I see on the account the device was used for the first time on [date] and stopped use three days ago. It had been in use for nine days of the twelve days you have had service.”

    Customer: “No, he would’ve told me if he got some liquid on it. That’s not possible.”

    Me: “Well, pink indicates exposure. Red, which this is totally red, means the phone was drenched in liquid. He must have gotten significant amount of liquid on it.”

    Customer: “So, you’re not gonna replace it?”

    Me: “We can’t. You have no insurance and you voided the warranty with damage.”

    Customer: “You’re telling me [Company] won’t back up the products they sell?”

    Me: “We do. So long as you have insurance for accidental damage or if there is no damage for warranty exchanges. You have neither.”

    Customer: “That doesn’t make sense. If I bought a car and there’s something wrong with it, the dealer would take care of it! The dealer would fix it for free!”

    Me: “Not if you rammed the car into a building.”

    Customer: “Well… If… So what? I gotta keep paying on the phone even though he can’t use it?”

    Me: “Yes. You still owe $300 on it.”

    Customer: “That’s outrageous! I’m not buying him a new phone. Cancel his line!”

    Me: “Okay, sir. Although you have no contract therefore no early termination fee, your next bill will have a charge of $300 for the phone.”

    Customer: “What?! What happened to paying it off monthly like I was told?”

    Me: “As long as you have an active line you can pay it off monthly. You signed something that said the entire value of the phone is due immediately once service is canceled.”

    Customer: “I will still have my line.”

    Me: “The phone isn’t attached to your line. Yours is.”

    Customer: “Well, don’t you all just HAVE ME BY THE BALLS. Y’ALL GOT ME BY THE BALLS!”

    (He grabs all his stuff and starts to storm out.)

    Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

    Customer: “BY THE BALLS!”


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