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  • A Total Brazil Nut
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  • Category: Uncategorized

    Who Needs Math When You Can Sue

    | Philadelphia, PA | Uncategorized

    Pizza Customer: “I ordered a pizza, half pepperoni, half sausage … and half plain.”

    Me: “Lady, there’s only two halves in a whole.”

    Pizza Customer: “I know there are only two halves in a whole! I’m a lawyer; this treatment is unfair and I demand satisfaction!”

    Vol. 2 of Strange Ways To Hold A Phone

    | UK | Uncategorized

    Customer (speaking over the telephone): “Could you speak up please, I’m deaf in one ear…”

    On The Acoustical Properties of Wheelchairs

    | UK | Uncategorized

    Call Center Customer: “You’ll have to speak up love, I’m in a wheelchair!”

    Apparently, It Grows On Trees Nowadays

    | Seattle, WA | Uncategorized

    Disgruntled Bank Customer: “What do you mean I don’t have any money? I still have checks in my book!”

    (Customer opens up check book, showing off her blank checks)

    Signs Are For Weaklings

    | Pasadena | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Can I have a vanilla ice cream?”

    Me: “Sure, but we don’t have ice cream. I can sell you a vanilla frozen yogurt.”

    Customer: “This is frozen yogurt?”

    Me: “Yea, that’s why there’s a giant sign outside the store that says FROZEN YOGURT.”

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