Featured Story:
  • Making False Bald Statements
    (1,392 thumbs up)
  • February Theme Of The Month: Hazardous Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Uncategorized

    Must … Have … Chocolate … GraAAaawr!

    , | California |

    (It must be noted the ice cream shop I worked at was in a mall, so it was pretty tiny and limited.)

    Customer: “I’d like a chocolate ice cream cone please.”

    Me: “Sorry, we only have vanilla.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. I’d like a chocolate ice cream then.”

    Me: *stares* “We only have VANILLA. I can drip it in chocolate for you though.”

    Customer: “Ugh, gross! No thanks, I’ll go try McDonald’s.”

    A Pseudo-Existential Moment

    | Unknown Location |

    Technician: “Good morning, *** Technical Support.”

    Caller: “Is this technical support?”

    Technician: “Yes.”

    Caller: “Can I have your phone number please?”

    Technician: (Confused) “What number did you phone in on?”

    Caller: “Can I have your phone number please?”

    Technician: (Thoroughly confused) “It’s this number, it’s the number you’ve just dialed.”

    Caller: “Thank you. Goodbye.”

    Source

    Ba Dum Dum *Chhh*

    | Sacramento, CA |

    (Customer standing on top of an old, oak library ladder)

    Bookstore Customer: “If I was your attorney, I would make you get rid of this ladder.”

    Me: “If you were my attorney, I’d push you off it!”

    Source

    He Who Warps The Fabric Of Space

    | Philadelphia, PA |

    Customer at a Bookstore in Philadelphia: “I‚Äôm looking for the Boston Zagat Restaurant guide, do you have a local interest section that would have it?”

    Me: “No. Boston isn‚Äôt local. The restaurant guide would be with the rest of the Boston travel books.”

    Customer: “Well there aren‚Äôt any on the shelf.”

    Me: “We must be out of stock. I could order it for you.”

    Customer: “No. Well are there any local stores around here that would have it?”

    Me: “Boston is not local. Maybe you should wait until you go to Boston and buy it there.”

    Customer: “Good idea.”

    Source

    The Lady Doth Go For Broke, Methinks

    | Cold Spring, KY |

    (A lady enters the store and gives me a raincheck that expired long ago)

    Me: “Um, ma’am, this raincheck expired 90 days after you received it.”

    Customer: “It doesn’t say that.”

    (I point to where it does, in fact, say that)

    Customer: (completely seriously) “That wasn’t there before.”

    (I hand the raincheck back)

    Me: “Would you still like to buy this product?”

    Customer: “Yes, I have this raincheck for buy one get one free.”

    Page 883/886First...881882883884885...Last