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    He Who Warps The Fabric Of Space

    | Philadelphia, PA |

    Customer at a Bookstore in Philadelphia: “I‚Äôm looking for the Boston Zagat Restaurant guide, do you have a local interest section that would have it?”

    Me: “No. Boston isn‚Äôt local. The restaurant guide would be with the rest of the Boston travel books.”

    Customer: “Well there aren‚Äôt any on the shelf.”

    Me: “We must be out of stock. I could order it for you.”

    Customer: “No. Well are there any local stores around here that would have it?”

    Me: “Boston is not local. Maybe you should wait until you go to Boston and buy it there.”

    Customer: “Good idea.”

    Source

    The Lady Doth Go For Broke, Methinks

    | Cold Spring, KY |

    (A lady enters the store and gives me a raincheck that expired long ago)

    Me: “Um, ma’am, this raincheck expired 90 days after you received it.”

    Customer: “It doesn’t say that.”

    (I point to where it does, in fact, say that)

    Customer: (completely seriously) “That wasn’t there before.”

    (I hand the raincheck back)

    Me: “Would you still like to buy this product?”

    Customer: “Yes, I have this raincheck for buy one get one free.”

    No, really?

    , | Ontario, Canada |

    Customer at the drive-thru window: “I’d like my order to-go.”

    Bad Pickup Lines, Parte Deux

    | Philadelphia, PA |

    Bookstore Customer: “You have beautiful green eyes.”

    Me: “They’re blue.”

    Source

    Signs Point To Yes

    , | Arcadia, CA |

    Sandwich Shop Worker: “Would you like mustard or mayonnaise on your sandwich?”

    Customer: “Yes, please.”

    (Sandwich shop worker stares)

    Customer: “Oops! I mean. Um…mayonnaise.”

    Sandwich Shop Worker: “How would you like to pay? Cash or credit?”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (Sandwich shop worker stares some more)

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