Category: Uncategorized

Paging Homeland Security To The Wine Cellar

| Oregon | Uncategorized

Me: “May I get something for you ladies to drink?”

Lady 1: “Um, yes. (to Lady 2) What are you having, dear?”

Lady 2: “I’ll have the white zinfandel.”

Lady 1: “Oh yes, I’ll have the infidel, too. Last night I had the marlo!”

Oh, You Mean THOSE Kinds Of Maps

| Philadelphia, PA | Uncategorized

Bookstore Customer: “Do you sell maps? You know, things with pictures of roads on them?”

Source

There Once Was a Man From Nantucket …

| Nantucket Island, MA | Uncategorized

(I worked at this local market as a kid during the summers on Nantucket. Here are some questions the tourists asked.)

Random Customer #1: “Where is the beach?” (We’re on an island???)

Random Customer #2: “Where’s main street?” (The store was on main street.)

Random Customer #3: “When did Nantucket become a part of the United States?” (The same time as the rest of Massachusetts. It’s not the 51st state, people.)

Random Customer #4: “What is that one – O-RAY-oh?” (We serve ice cream; Oreo is one of our flavors).

Surprisingly, This One Knows How To Read

| USA | Uncategorized

Library Patron: “Do you guys have books?”

Me: (I turn and give a side glance to the shelves of books on my right) “Nope. It’s all online.”

Source

Gone, As In Mentally

| Virginia, USA | Uncategorized

Lady: “Yeah I just got back so I missed the big rain storm.”

Me: “Well it wasn’t too bad, where did you go? Out of town?”

Lady: “What?”

Me: “You got back from somewhere, where did you go?”

Lady: “I haven’t been anywhere.”

Me: “So you were here for the rainstorm?”

Lady: “No, I was gone.”

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