Category: Uncategorized

The State Eats Cuddly Puppies & Kittens, Too

| Mississippi, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Good Afternoon, Mississippi Department of xxxxxx. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I would like y’all to get me some food stamps. My kids are hungry and I got fired last week.”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t issue food stamps. You need to contact the Department of Human Services.”

Caller: “What?! My cousin told me to call y’all and y’all would get us fed. I know the State has lots of monies, can’t you just send us some?”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, you need to call DHS and they will be able to assist you.”

Caller: “F*** You! The G**-D***** State never does a damn thing for us poor folks! I hope you feel the fires of hell for starving children!” *click*

Me: *stunned silence*

When Generations Collide

, | Los Angeles, CA | Uncategorized

Old man in a Japanese Gift Shop: “Do you carry thongs here?”

Me: “Uh… WHAT?”

Old man: “You know… flippity flops… sandals!”

Better Idea: Make Your Boys Wear Dresses

, | Northern California, USA | Uncategorized

Lady customer: “Where’s your boy stuff?”

Me: “We don’t really have any. This store is mainly targeted for girls.”

Lady customer: “WELL YOU SHOULD!”

I’m Sure We Have A Book On That Topic

| London | Uncategorized

Customer: “Excuse me, how do I get up the stairs?”

Me: “If you don’t already know, I’m afraid I can’t help you.”

Paging Homeland Security To The Wine Cellar

| Oregon | Uncategorized

Me: “May I get something for you ladies to drink?”

Lady 1: “Um, yes. (to Lady 2) What are you having, dear?”

Lady 2: “I’ll have the white zinfandel.”

Lady 1: “Oh yes, I’ll have the infidel, too. Last night I had the marlo!”

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