July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Category: Uncategorized

Pint-Sized Purification

| Portland, OR, USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “Hi, do you have any doctors that prescribe detox drugs?”

Me: “No, we don’t provide that service.”

Caller: “How do you know? You have lots of doctors. How do you know?!”

Me: “We don’t specialize in addiction treatment. Our doctors aren’t that type of practitioner.”

Caller: “Why?! What if I need them to be?”

Me: “Well, then you would have to call another office.”

Caller: “What kind of doctor’s don’t prescribe detox meds?!”

Me: “Pediatricians…”

Caller: “Oh!” *hangs up phone*

The Caffeine Makes Us Clingy

| Beaverton, OR, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi! What can I do for you?”

Customer: “I’d like an iced grande breve.”

Me: “A latte?”

Customer: “I don’t have to say latte!”

Me: “I know what you mean, ma’am, but you should be careful. If you order that somewhere else, you might just get a cup of iced half and half.”

Customer: “I don’t have to order like that at [ice cream store]!

Me: “Ah–”

Customer: “They’re less needy at [ice cream store]! It takes too much effort to get what I want here! GROW UP!”

Paging Dr. Cold Cut

| Laramie, WY, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Would you like chips or a drink with your sandwich?”

Customer: *surprised* “What?!”

Me: “Would you like chips or a drink?”

Customer: *shocked* “What did you say?”

Me: *slowly* “I asked if you would like to have chips or a drink with your sandwich.”

Customer: “OOOOOOH! I thought you asked if I would like to have surgery with my sub!”

Fifi Feels The Sting Of Government Bailouts

, | Florida, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [bank]. This is ****, how may I help you?”

Customer: “I just went to the drive-thru at the bank’s **** location, and they were very rude!”

Me: “I’m so sorry. Please explain what happened.”

Customer: “I go there every day, and they always give my dog a doggy biscuit. Today they didn’t give him a biscuit!”

Me: “I’m sorry. What else happened?”

Customer: “Well…that’s it, but I always have my dog with me and they always give him a treat. They told me they’re not doing that anymore!”

Me: “It’s not a requirement for the bank branches to give treats to customers’ pets.”

Customer: “I’m going to close my account if they don’t start giving out treats again!”

Me: “That is your decision to make. But again, it is not a requirement for a bank branch to give your dog treats.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous!” *click*

Two For The Price Of Dumb

| Grand Junction, CO, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I saw this same cord at [competitor] for $15. Why is it $20 here?”

Me: “I don’t know, maybe they’re having a sale? I don’t set the prices.”

Customer: “Well, will you price match?”

Me: “If you can provide documentation, sure, I’ll do it.”

Customer: “So if I bring in the receipt that shows $15 at [competitor], I can get it here for $15?”

Me: “…so you want to go to [competitor], buy it for $15, and then come here to buy it again so that we can match their price?”

Customer: “Yes. Will you match that?”

Me: “Sure, why not?”

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