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    Category: Uncategorized

    All In A Huff About The Man With A Puff

    | LA, USA | Top, Uncategorized

    (My boyfriend is standing on the sidewalk outside the store. He is smoking a cigarette while he waits for me to get off. A customer comes in and starts complaining.)

    Customer: “Look at him! Standing out there as if he owns the place! You’re going to make this place go out of business by allowing riff-raff like that to hang out here and smoke right beside the door!”

    Me: “Ma’am, he is near the ashtray, which is more than the state mandated twenty-five feet from the entrance. Furthermore, I ask that you not call my other customers names, and especially him because he’s my boyfriend.”

    Customer: “What is wrong with you?! Why would a good, sweet Christian girl like you date a tattooed heathen like that!?”

    Me: “Ma’am, please stop calling him names. He is not a heathen; he is a good Christian man. I on the other hand, am not religious, but spiritual. He is also an Army veteran who served in Iraq and Afghanistan, and deserves to be treated with more respect than you are giving him. Now please leave. I am refusing you service for being so rude.”

    Customer: “The customer is always right! I’ll tell [owner] that you were letting a heathen lurk outside his store!”

    Me: “You do that, ma’am. I’ll make sure to tell him how rude you were, too.”

    Customer: “The customer is always right!”

    (The customer runs out of the store. At this point, my boyfriend walks in.)

    Boyfriend: “What was her problem, baby girl?”

    Me: “Who knows? She apparently thought the customer is always right.”

    Boyfriend: “Sometimes the customer is just an a**-hole.”

    Not Quite On Top Of Her Game

    | MD, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Technology, Theme Of The Month, Uncategorized

    (I work as a slot machine technician. While we do occasionally talk with customers, they’re not our primary concern. In the event of a customer dispute, we’re to call a supervisor and let them handle it from there. I’m flagged down by a flustered customer while walking the floor. She is playing a very popular game. Her English is halting at best.)

    Customer: “This game stole my $20! You gimme $20!”

    Me: “Let me take a look at it, ma’am.”

    (I open the game and check the device that accepts bills; nothing is inside. I next check the machine’s logs, and see that a $20 bill was indeed inserted only a few moments earlier, but that exact $20 was then cashed out 10 seconds later with no games played.)

    Me: “Ma’am, it appears the $20 was cashed out 10 seconds after it was put in.”

    Customer: “No! It stole it! Gimme my $20!”

    (I call for a supervisor. It’s a very busy Friday night, and it takes 15 minutes for one to finally come by. In the meantime, the lady has gotten more agitated.)

    Supervisor: “Hey, what’s up?”

    Me: “This customer says the machine ate her $20, but the machine’s logs say that the $20 was cashed out 10 seconds later.”

    Supervisor: “Thanks, I’ve got this.”

    (My supervisor approaches the customer.)

    Supervisor: “Ma’am, the machine says you cashed out your $20.”

    Customer: “No! It took my $20! Gimme $20!”

    Supervisor: “Ma’am, I’m not giving you $20.”

    (The look on her face is something like rage, disbelief and heartbreak. She eventually storms off, getting nothing for her troubles. After talking with a few other techs, it turns out she has tried this at a few other games in the casino that night, with the exact same result.)

    Takes One To Serve One

    | CA, USA | Uncategorized

    Worker: “Thank you for calling [insurance company]. My name is [name]. How may I help you today?”

    Me: “Hi, my name is [full name]. I went online to get a quote from your company yesterday, and I would like to get my car insurance through you guys. My confirmation number is [number].”

    Worker: “Great! I can help set that up for you. Could I have your name and the last four numbers of your social security number?”

    (I repeat my name, not even thinking about it, and my social.)

    Worker: “Oh, wow, now I feel stupid. You already gave me your name! Wait… you didn’t get upset or anything; you just went along with the program.”

    Me: *laughs* “Yeah, I guess I didn’t even think anything of it.”

    Worker: “Well, I appreciate it. Most customers would have been upset, claiming I didn’t listen or whatever. Okay, next question: what is your area of employment?”

    Me: “I’m a customer service representative.”

    Worker: “Ah, no wonder.”

    That Makes Two Of Us

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | Uncategorized

    Caller: “Hi, I’m returning a call here?”

    Me: “Yes? Are you looking for health insurance?”

    Caller: “Well, yes.”

    Me: “Great! Do you have the name of who called you? If not, I can just transfer you to an available agent.”

    Caller: “Well, that’s the thing. I have a note and it says Linda.”

    Me: “Okay, well—”

    Caller: “Do you have a Linda? Because my name is Linda, and I’m worried I just wrote my own name down.”

    Me: “We have a Linda. I’ll transfer you.”

    Caller: “Oh, thank goodness!”

    Mail Disorder

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Uncategorized

    (The office where I work is fairly small, which results in me overhearing the receptionists’ half of the phone conversations with some of our clients.)

    Coworker: “[Office’s name], how can I help you?”

    (The client talks, coworker answers the usual questions.)

    Coworker: “Ma’am, I understand that but we can’t open your mail to check it for you.”

    (The client continues talking.)

    Coworker: “Yes, but as I said earlier, we can’t open your mail to check. It’s best that you get a P.O. box.”

    (The client is talking again and is apparently upset, as the coworker has a frustrated/annoyed look on her face.)

    Coworker: “Ma’am, you’ve called us many times in the past before, and we’ve said it many times before. We really recommend you to get a P.O. box, because we legally can not open your mail to check.”

    (Eventually, the client hangs up.)

    Me: “Not the first time?”

    Coworker: “Won’t be the last.”

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