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    Demands Are Reaching Breaking Point

    | Hartford, CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays

    (It is Thanksgiving night and our store has been open for about four hours already. It’s been very busy and we have a much larger than normal team to oversee. A woman has approaches my coworker, asking about a certain item.)

    Coworker: “Well, I’m not sure. Let me find someone to ask.”

    (He calls on his walkie for that section and gets no response. I happen to be walking by when he stops me and asks if I know.)

    Me: “Sorry, I really don’t know at all. Who’s here right now?”

    (The guest meanders off a few feet looking at another display. We look at the schedule trying to find who is here and not on break since we all came in around the same time and by law need a 30-minute non-paid break.)

    Customer: “I just don’t understand what is taking so long. Why is it so d*** hard to find someone? Why can’t anyone just get this item for me?”

    (As this goes on my coworker is trying to get someone to answer on the walkie.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. But we can’t leave the front end because of how busy we are. If you can give me just a moment, please. I need to check the schedule before I can call someone. We’re just trying to find out who is here and not on break right now.”

    Customer: “Well why would they be on break?”

    Me: “We all came in around the same time to open the store tonight and we have to stagger our breaks, so I just need a moment to find out who is on the floor right now.”

    Customer: “I just don’t understand why the hell anyone would be on break! They’re here to work! Not to take a break! They need to get back to work! This is bad business!”

    Me: “Do you take a break at work?”

    Customer: *scoffs* “Well, of COURSE I do!”

    Me: “Then wouldn’t you think we should get a break, too?”

    Customer: “No! Not tonight! This is different! Why is no one able to help me!”

    (By some miracle, God smiles down on me and someone from a nearby section answers on the walkie and says to send the guest down.)

    Customer: “Finally! This shouldn’t have taken so f****** long! I’ll be calling corporate!”

    Me: “You do that. Happy Thanksgiving!”

    And The Children Shall Lead, Part 2

    | USA |

    (I am a 33-year-old woman managing a local fast food restaurant. I love what I do, and take pride in my job and my restaurant. I also happen to be only five feet tall.)

    Customer: “Hi. I want to order catering for a party I am having tomorrow.”

    Me: “Well, we typically need more notice to do a catering order. How many people are you expecting?”

    Customer: “Something like 120.”

    Me: “We usually can’t do something that large on such short notice, but let me see—”

    Customer: “You know what? Let me talk to the manager so I don’t have to be here all day!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am the manager. I’m not saying we can’t do it for sure. I just want to see if we have the staff scheduled, to see if I can pull this off for you.”

    Customer:You are the manager? What are you, like 16? How young can you be to be a manager at [Restaurant]? They really need to start caring about their restaurants and hire some adults to run this place! I mean, it’s just kids around here! How are you supposed to run a business without any adults around?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m in my 30s, married, and have children old enough to almost work here themselves.”

    Customer: “OH! You are SO LYING! How old are you REALLY?”

    (I pull out my driver’s license, covering my info with my thumb, all but my birthdate.)

    Customer: “Um.. uh… Sorry. You.. uh.. you… you don’t LOOK your age.”

    Me: “I’ll take your shock as a compliment. Now, let me look to see if we have the staff to make your party happen.”

    (I check. We did. We pulled off her party the next day.)

    And The Children Shall Lead

    A Gem Of A Customer

    | Worcestershire, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Money

    (A lovely, regular customer has called up after we have sent her the wrong thing. She has always been very friendly and polite and this is no exception.)

    Customer: “Have you got what I was supposed to have in stock?”

    Me: “We have some of the items. I’d be happy to send them to you for free.”

    Customer: “Okay, well I’ll send this stuff back.”

    Me: “Don’t worry about it, keep it. I know you can use it all, so just keep it.”

    Customer: “Then you have to charge me for these beads!”

    Me: “No, I will not.”

    Customer: “Charge me for them!”

    Me: “No, no, no, no, no, no.”

    Customer: “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.”

    Me: “No! You will have free gemstones if you like it or not!”

    Customer: “Not if you’re not going to charge me!”

    Me: “Too late! I’ve added them onto your order!”

    Customer: “Well, if you insist!”

    He Has A Potty Dance But No Potty Mouth

    | Washington, DC, USA | Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging

    (A well-dressed businessman in a suit comes over to check in. He’s acting very strangely; he’s jumping down on one leg, then the other, and twirling around. His face is red and sweaty, though it’s not a very hot day, and he is panting slightly. I figure he’s just weird, and give him his keys. He SPRINTS off. I turn to a coworker.)

    Me: “What was his problem? Why was he acting like that?”

    Coworker: “Like what?”

    Me: “You saw him.”

    Coworker: “Oh, he probably had to go to the bathroom or something.”

    Me: “Oh! Well why didn’t he say so? There are bathrooms down here in the lobby.”

    (Suddenly, the same customer is back. His face is now purple.)

    Customer: “KEYS! NOT WORKING!”

    (He throws the keys in my face, and sprints off towards the lobby bathrooms.)

    Coworker: “See?”

    All In A Huff About The Man With A Puff

    | LA, USA | Top

    (My boyfriend is standing on the sidewalk outside the store. He is smoking a cigarette while he waits for me to get off. A customer comes in and starts complaining.)

    Customer: “Look at him! Standing out there as if he owns the place! You’re going to make this place go out of business by allowing riff-raff like that to hang out here and smoke right beside the door!”

    Me: “Ma’am, he is near the ashtray, which is more than the state mandated twenty-five feet from the entrance. Furthermore, I ask that you not call my other customers names, and especially him because he’s my boyfriend.”

    Customer: “What is wrong with you?! Why would a good, sweet Christian girl like you date a tattooed heathen like that!?”

    Me: “Ma’am, please stop calling him names. He is not a heathen; he is a good Christian man. I on the other hand, am not religious, but spiritual. He is also an Army veteran who served in Iraq and Afghanistan, and deserves to be treated with more respect than you are giving him. Now please leave. I am refusing you service for being so rude.”

    Customer: “The customer is always right! I’ll tell [owner] that you were letting a heathen lurk outside his store!”

    Me: “You do that, ma’am. I’ll make sure to tell him how rude you were, too.”

    Customer: “The customer is always right!”

    (The customer runs out of the store. At this point, my boyfriend walks in.)

    Boyfriend: “What was her problem, baby girl?”

    Me: “Who knows? She apparently thought the customer is always right.”

    Boyfriend: “Sometimes the customer is just an a**-hole.”

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