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    And The Children Shall Lead, Part 2

    | USA |

    (I am a 33-year-old woman managing a local fast food restaurant. I love what I do, and take pride in my job and my restaurant. I also happen to be only five feet tall.)

    Customer: “Hi. I want to order catering for a party I am having tomorrow.”

    Me: “Well, we typically need more notice to do a catering order. How many people are you expecting?”

    Customer: “Something like 120.”

    Me: “We usually can’t do something that large on such short notice, but let me see—”

    Customer: “You know what? Let me talk to the manager so I don’t have to be here all day!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am the manager. I’m not saying we can’t do it for sure. I just want to see if we have the staff scheduled, to see if I can pull this off for you.”

    Customer:You are the manager? What are you, like 16? How young can you be to be a manager at [Restaurant]? They really need to start caring about their restaurants and hire some adults to run this place! I mean, it’s just kids around here! How are you supposed to run a business without any adults around?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m in my 30s, married, and have children old enough to almost work here themselves.”

    Customer: “OH! You are SO LYING! How old are you REALLY?”

    (I pull out my driver’s license, covering my info with my thumb, all but my birthdate.)

    Customer: “Um.. uh… Sorry. You.. uh.. you… you don’t LOOK your age.”

    Me: “I’ll take your shock as a compliment. Now, let me look to see if we have the staff to make your party happen.”

    (I check. We did. We pulled off her party the next day.)

    Related:
    And The Children Shall Lead

    A Gem Of A Customer

    | Worcestershire, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Money

    (A lovely, regular customer has called up after we have sent her the wrong thing. She has always been very friendly and polite and this is no exception.)

    Customer: “Have you got what I was supposed to have in stock?”

    Me: “We have some of the items. I’d be happy to send them to you for free.”

    Customer: “Okay, well I’ll send this stuff back.”

    Me: “Don’t worry about it, keep it. I know you can use it all, so just keep it.”

    Customer: “Then you have to charge me for these beads!”

    Me: “No, I will not.”

    Customer: “Charge me for them!”

    Me: “No, no, no, no, no, no.”

    Customer: “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.”

    Me: “No! You will have free gemstones if you like it or not!”

    Customer: “Not if you’re not going to charge me!”

    Me: “Too late! I’ve added them onto your order!”

    Customer: “Well, if you insist!”

    He Has A Potty Dance But No Potty Mouth

    | Washington, DC, USA | Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging

    (A well-dressed businessman in a suit comes over to check in. He’s acting very strangely; he’s jumping down on one leg, then the other, and twirling around. His face is red and sweaty, though it’s not a very hot day, and he is panting slightly. I figure he’s just weird, and give him his keys. He SPRINTS off. I turn to a coworker.)

    Me: “What was his problem? Why was he acting like that?”

    Coworker: “Like what?”

    Me: “You saw him.”

    Coworker: “Oh, he probably had to go to the bathroom or something.”

    Me: “Oh! Well why didn’t he say so? There are bathrooms down here in the lobby.”

    (Suddenly, the same customer is back. His face is now purple.)

    Customer: “KEYS! NOT WORKING!”

    (He throws the keys in my face, and sprints off towards the lobby bathrooms.)

    Coworker: “See?”

    All In A Huff About The Man With A Puff

    | LA, USA | Top

    (My boyfriend is standing on the sidewalk outside the store. He is smoking a cigarette while he waits for me to get off. A customer comes in and starts complaining.)

    Customer: “Look at him! Standing out there as if he owns the place! You’re going to make this place go out of business by allowing riff-raff like that to hang out here and smoke right beside the door!”

    Me: “Ma’am, he is near the ashtray, which is more than the state mandated twenty-five feet from the entrance. Furthermore, I ask that you not call my other customers names, and especially him because he’s my boyfriend.”

    Customer: “What is wrong with you?! Why would a good, sweet Christian girl like you date a tattooed heathen like that!?”

    Me: “Ma’am, please stop calling him names. He is not a heathen; he is a good Christian man. I on the other hand, am not religious, but spiritual. He is also an Army veteran who served in Iraq and Afghanistan, and deserves to be treated with more respect than you are giving him. Now please leave. I am refusing you service for being so rude.”

    Customer: “The customer is always right! I’ll tell [owner] that you were letting a heathen lurk outside his store!”

    Me: “You do that, ma’am. I’ll make sure to tell him how rude you were, too.”

    Customer: “The customer is always right!”

    (The customer runs out of the store. At this point, my boyfriend walks in.)

    Boyfriend: “What was her problem, baby girl?”

    Me: “Who knows? She apparently thought the customer is always right.”

    Boyfriend: “Sometimes the customer is just an a**-hole.”

    Not Quite On Top Of Her Game

    | MD, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (I work as a slot machine technician. While we do occasionally talk with customers, they’re not our primary concern. In the event of a customer dispute, we’re to call a supervisor and let them handle it from there. I’m flagged down by a flustered customer while walking the floor. She is playing a very popular game. Her English is halting at best.)

    Customer: “This game stole my $20! You gimme $20!”

    Me: “Let me take a look at it, ma’am.”

    (I open the game and check the device that accepts bills; nothing is inside. I next check the machine’s logs, and see that a $20 bill was indeed inserted only a few moments earlier, but that exact $20 was then cashed out 10 seconds later with no games played.)

    Me: “Ma’am, it appears the $20 was cashed out 10 seconds after it was put in.”

    Customer: “No! It stole it! Gimme my $20!”

    (I call for a supervisor. It’s a very busy Friday night, and it takes 15 minutes for one to finally come by. In the meantime, the lady has gotten more agitated.)

    Supervisor: “Hey, what’s up?”

    Me: “This customer says the machine ate her $20, but the machine’s logs say that the $20 was cashed out 10 seconds later.”

    Supervisor: “Thanks, I’ve got this.”

    (My supervisor approaches the customer.)

    Supervisor: “Ma’am, the machine says you cashed out your $20.”

    Customer: “No! It took my $20! Gimme $20!”

    Supervisor: “Ma’am, I’m not giving you $20.”

    (The look on her face is something like rage, disbelief and heartbreak. She eventually storms off, getting nothing for her troubles. After talking with a few other techs, it turns out she has tried this at a few other games in the casino that night, with the exact same result.)


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