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    Category: Transportation

    Towering Ignorance

    | NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Transportation

    (I work in tech support for cell phones. A coworker is having a conversation with a customer whose phone isn’t working.)

    Agent: “Okay! Have you tried checking out the settings on your phone? You may have turned those services off.”

    Customer: “No, I didn’t. Definitely didn’t do that.”

    Agent: “Hmm, I see! Well, you could always give our customer service department a quick call to see if something is up! How’s that sound?”

    Customer: “I’m at my cousin’s house and the elevation is very high so I made sure to turn ‘airplane mode’ on. It’s pissing me off that this isn’t working.”

    Agent: “Oh! Airplane mode is actually going to disable your phone from using those features. Take that off for me, please, and try again.”

    Customer: “Wow! Do you think I’m going to be fooled like that? You’re lying. How do people talk to each other on airplanes? DUH! Sucks when I know more than an employee…”

    Agent: “I’m not entirely sure what you mean. Could you elaborate, please? ”

    Customer: “Uhm, wow. I can’t believe I’m doing this: Airplane mode is for when you need to call someone while up high in the air to connect to satellites and stuff rather than towers. How do you think pilots and astronauts contact ground control? You’re a complete idiot. Goodbye.”

    Driving Himself Into A Ditch

    | USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Money, Transportation

    (I’m at court filing documents for a client when I overhear a judge’s assistant speaking with a man waiting in the lobby behind me.)

    JA: “I’m sorry, sir, but the judge isn’t willing to do anything about the towing costs.”

    Defendant: “What?”

    JA: “You’re going to have to pay these yourself.”

    Defendant: “But… no! He can’t do that!”

    JA: “Sir, there’s nothing he can do. He’s already waived all your court costs. The tow is your responsibility.”

    Defendant: “But what about me going to jail over not paying these?!”

    JA: “You have four outstanding warrants in three states! You were driving on a suspended license! You should have been arrested on the spot!”

    Defendant: “But he has to make these go away or I’ll go to jail!”

    JA: “Sir, you should BE in jail. We did not make you drive on a suspended license. I called the DMV and you’re even flagged in THEIR system! At some point you have to take responsibility for your actions. I really don’t know how you’re not in jail right now.”

    Defendant: “FINE! But I’m still owed a bond by you people!”

    JA: “Okay. I can get that to you, but that person is out today. Will you be in town tomorrow to pick it up or would you like me to mail it?”

    Defendant: “Nah, I’ll just drive here.”

    JA: “… You’ll… drive here? Yourself?”

    Defendant: “Yeah, that’s what I said.”

    JA: “Sir, could you please take a seat? I’m going to need to grab somebody to come talk to you.”

    Defendant: “Finally!”

    (The clerk and I, who had been listening in disbelief the entire time, watch as the JA walked over to the bailiff and explained the situation. I left when the handcuffs came out.)

    Take A Trip Down Memory Fast Lane

    | Whitehorse, Yukon, Canada | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (A caller is on the phone:)

    Caller: “My car was in for an inspection just over a year ago. Do you remember what repairs it needed?”

    Me: “Hmm, that’s close to 10,000 work orders ago. That would be a ‘no.’”

    Customer: “I think it was around $700. What could that be?”

    Me: “Time for another inspection?”

    This Conversation Goes Round And Round

    | Whitehorse, YT, Canada | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (A customer phones in and wants a quote on a very specific tire and size.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but [Brand] doesn’t make that winter tire in that size.”

    Caller: “When will you be getting them in?”

    Me: “They don’t make that tire in your size.”

    Caller: “If you order them in for me during the sale, can I still get sale price?”

    Me: “Sir, they DON’T make that tire in the size you need.”

    Caller: “Do you think I could get a rain check for them then?”

    Me: ‘Sir, we can’t issue you a rain check for a tire that they… don’t… make!”

    Caller: *Click*

    How To Re-Tire Bad Customers

    | WI, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Transportation, Wild & Unruly

    (It’s Black Friday and I have a noon shift. I have been berated and belittled by most of the customers since most of the doorbusters have been sold out.)

    Rude Customer: “WHY even advertise this if you don’t keep it in stock!? That’s stupid! If you run out you shouldn’t advertise it!”

    (There are two younger customers behind them, a guy and a girl.)

    Girl: “You know… sometimes I just wanna make people suffer ya know? Like mentally. Like I wanna slash the tires of some real ignorant a** so they can’t go on and abuse another cashier.”

    Guy: “I have that hunting knife in my car still. Wanna do it once we’re out of here?”

    Girl: “We could. I have one target it picked out.”

    (The rude customer shuts up and pays quietly and quickly runs out the door. I eye up the couple not sure if I should report the threat or not. The girl grins at me.)

    Girl: “Got her to shut up.”

    Me: “Wait. You weren’t serious?”

    Girl: “Please. I could never do that.”

    Guy: “I could…”


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