October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Transportation

700 Reasons To Get Grounded

| Fort Worth, TX, USA | Family & Kids, Money, Transportation

(I’m a manager at a fairly large automotive repair. I am in my office the day after Christmas, and I hear an angry customer yelling at one of my workers. I came out and take over.)

Me: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

Customer: “I just had my car here to get a brake job done at this shop. When I got my car back nothing had been done.”

Me: “Okay, sir, let me pull up your information so I can see what all was done. I’m sorry for the inconvenience, and I’ll do my best to solve this for you.”

Customer: “She already tried to pull up my information. She said I’m not in the system, but I know I’m in there.”

(I get him to give me his information, have him look at the screen to make sure it was all correct. Sure enough he isn’t in the system.)

Customer: “No! I know my car is in your system. My son brought it in to get worked on.”

(I get the information for his son, and still no car in the system.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, but we have no record of any work being done on your vehicle.”

Customer: “That’s BS! My son brought in my car just yesterday to get the work done. It cost me $700!”

Me: “Sir, we were closed yesterday for Christmas. No one was here. There is no way we could have done the work on your car.”

Customer: “Then why did I have to give my son $700 for the wor…”

(All I could do was shrug as I watched him piece things together and realize that his son had probably spent $700 on something else.)

No Kidding About The Kid, Part 2

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Top, Transportation

(The store I work at is on a busy street with a lot of bars and very little available parking, so a lot of non-customers will illegally park in our lot despite the numerous signs. A tow company comes by on the busier evenings and take the cars of those not in the store to their lot. I often have to handle irate people who are angry about their car being towed and the release charges. At about 11:30 pm, a woman stumbles into the store, obviously inebriated, and demands to know where her car is.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but if you were not in our store while your car was parked in our lot it was most likely towed.”

Her: “Are you f****** kidding me? I was only gone two hours… What gives you the right to take my car?!”

Me: “Well, per our signs in the lot, you cannot park there unless you are patronizing our store. It was a tow company that took your car.”

Her: “This is bullshit! You crooks took my car and I bet my iPad will be missing from it, too!”

Me: “I doubt that, but here is the number of the tow company for you to call.”

Her: “Ugh, my kids are probably still in there, too!”

Me: *praying I’ve misheard her* “Excuse me, did you say YOUR KIDS?!”

Her: “Yeah. God d*** it; this is f****** unbelievable!”

Me: “Sure is… Tell you what; I’ll call the company for you because you seem a little upset.”

Her: “Yeah, DO THAT. It’s your job!”

(I called the tow company to ask if they’d found her kids. They had, recently, and had them warming up in the office. It is late February.)

Me: “Hey… can you write down your name and plate number in case your, um, iPad is missing?”

Her: “D*** right! You’ll hear from my lawyer if it isn’t!”

(As soon as she left in a cab, I called the police and explained the situation. They met her at the tow lot and arrested her.)

No Kidding About The Kid

Try Whoson First

| MO, USA | Language & Words, Transportation

Me: *on the phone with my mechanic* “Do you do body work?”

Mechanic: “I’m afraid not.”

Me: “Could you recommend someone?”

Mechanic: “Recommended?”

Me: “Yes.”

Mechanic: “Okay.” *long pause*

Me: “So, do you know anyone?”

Mechanic: “Recommended?”

Me: “Yes.”

Mechanic: “They’re out on Highway 24.”

Me: “Who?”

Mechanic: “Recommended?”

(We go back and forth until he finally spells it for me: Wreck-a-mended.)

About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 5

| State College, PA, USA | Bigotry, Transportation

(I am the only female in the auto shop so I am used to people questioning my knowledge and judgment.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir. I need you to pull your car over to the parking spaces right over there. You can then come in and we will happy to wait on you.”

Customer: “No! I am not moving my car until you give me a free battery! You sold me a bad battery!”

Me: *thinking this could be quick* “I am so sorry to hear that, sir. I would be happy to test the battery. They are warranted for two to four years depending on the battery. If it is under warranty, a new one will be free. May I see your receipt, please?”

Customer: “I don’t have the d*** receipt! It was too long ago! I want a battery now!”

Me: “Well, I cannot do anything without a receipt. But I bet you do have it. There is a plastic pocket on the side of every battery we sell. We always put a duplicate receipt in that pocket. Let’s just take a look.”

(I look at the battery.)

Me: “Sir. This is not our battery. [Retail Store] has never sold this battery in any of its thousand chains across the United States. This is an economy battery that is sold at [Different Store]. We can do nothing for you except sell you a new battery.”

(The customer lets out a litany of swear words. I warn him about it so he agrees to look at batteries but refuses to move his car until I install it. We look at batteries and the cheapest one is $45. He goes nuts on this how we sell crap batteries that never last. I remind him we never sold him that battery. He also lets slip it is six years old.)

Me: “What I can do is charge up your battery for free. Now, that will only last a day to a week, depending. But that will give you time to gather money to get a new battery.”

Customer: “That would be so great! Thank you! Thank you! You are so nice!”

(It is policy that when we charge a battery, we check to see if it is good. The battery is good. It needs to be charged but it will hold a charge. So, I test the alternator. Sure enough, the alternator is bad.)

Me: “Sir. Good news is your battery is fine. Bad news is your alternator is bad.”

Customer: “What are you talking about? I just bought a new alternator! You guys sell crap junk! I don’t believe this! I want a new alternator. You do this just to rip people off.”

Me: “Well, sir. We don’t touch alternators except to test them, so we are not ripping anyone off. Go to any mechanic and they would charge for these tests I just did for free. My suggestion is, I will charge the battery but you need to get a new alternator.”

Customer: “No, I need to talk to a man who knows his business. You think because you have t**s you can rip people off. Get me a real mechanic. Alternators have nothing to do with batteries.”

Me: “Well, my t**s know more about alternators than you do. See the battery starts the car up but then it runs on the alternator. The battery is 12 volts and every time you start the car it drains it a little. A good alternator puts out 14 volts or more but you need at least 12 to keep the battery up. Yours is putting out 9 volts.”

Customer: “I just bought that alternator two years ago! I am getting ripped off!”

Me: “Sir, this car is possibly older than I am. So, you bought a reconditioned alternator. They usually only last two years if it was a cheap one.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I can’t afford… Wait a minute! I know! Let’s put some of those batteries from up in front of the store in it!”

Me: “What batteries?”

Customer: “You’re the expert, right? Well, you said if the battery was good and charged it would last for a little while. So I want to put those cheap batteries I saw up front when I came in.”

Me: “We don’t have any car batteries up front. They are too heavy to be constantly dragging back here. Can you show me what you mean?”

Me: *after following the customer up front* “Sir, which batteries? I don’t see any.”

Customer: “Right there!” *pointing*

Me: “Sir. These are 9-volt batteries meant for electronics.”

Customer: “Well, miss car expert, YOU said a car battery is 12 volts. So I want you to put two of those in my car and then it will be 18 volts and then maybe with the extra, it will charge my alternator up!”

Me: “I… I don’t even know how to respond to that.”

About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 4
About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 3
About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 2

Needs To Be Coached On Buses

| Reykjavik, Iceland | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

Me: “These are your tickets, the bus is right out here—” *gestures to the door with a HUGE departures sign over it* “—and it will be marked with the tour name in the front window.”

Customer: “Thank you.” *the customer walks away, turns around and walks back to me* “Sorry, which bus is it?”

Me: “The bus is right out there and it’s the only one out on the lot.”

Customer: “Thank you.”

(Again he walks off, he walks out into the lot stares at THE ONLY BUS that’s there and then walks back to me.)

Customer: “Sorry, what number will be on the bus?”

Me: “The bus has the tour name in the front window and it’s the only bus departing at the moment.”

(The customer walked off for the third time, walked towards the bus, walked around the bus, and had almost walked off, when the driver caught up with him and escorted him onto the bus.)

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