October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Transportation

Making Them See Cents

| Perth, WA, Australia | Money, Transportation, Wild & Unruly

(A frequent customer comes in and fills up her tank every few days and thinks she’s being smart by putting in an extra 2c, because in Australia we round down/up to the nearest 5c/10c. That means she gets 2c worth of free fuel. Normally we don’t bother fighting if she goes over and up to 5c, because it’s not worth the screaming, but today we have our new trainee on. She doesn’t back down easily.)

Trainee: “That’ll be $9.05 today.”

Customer: “What?”

Trainee: “The total is $9.05. Would you like to purchase any in store items for a discount on your fuel today?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want anything. How is that possible? When I left that pump, it said $9.02. I know it did!”

Trainee: “On my system it says $9.03, so it got rounded up to $9.05. Cash or card?”

Customer: “F*** you. I’m going out there to check, and when I come back you better fix this!”

Trainee: “I’m sorry, ma’am, you’re more than welcome to check the price again.”

(The customer at this point storms out of the store and over to her car. I’m trying not to laugh, because this woman once threw a loaf of bread at me for doing the exact same thing. When she storms back in, she throws the 5c at the trainee, who is busy serving another customer while she waited.)

Customer: “F*** all of you! I had $9.02 on that f****** pump when I came inside, and you changed it! You are stealing money off of me! I’m calling the cops!”

Trainee: “You can do that, ma’am, and I’ll be happy to talk to them. Would you like an invoice?”

Customer: “You can f*** off back to your own country! Stealing my f****** money and sending it back to your 12 kids I bet! F*** you! F*** this store. I’m not coming back!”

(The other customer’s mouth is open in surprise. The trainee shrugs and the lady storms out of the store screaming very inappropriate racial slurs.)

Other Customer: “What the h*** was that?”

Trainee: “Couldn’t tell you even if I knew.”

(Our trainee is a white Australian. It’s just that she spends a lot of time in the sun and has a deep tan. We forwarded the footage to the local police station, who then informed us we’re the last service station that hasn’t banned her.)

Their Travel Ability Is As Solid As Oak-land

| CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

(I am waiting to board my flight when over the intercom come a couple of announcements, calling a passenger who has gotten off their plane at the wrong airport. The last page comes as:)

Page: “[Name], please report back to gate [#]. You have gotten off at Oakland, not Orange County. It doesn’t look anything like Orange County.”

Trying To Ferret Out A Deal

| AL, USA | Pets & Animals, Transportation

(I work in a bicycle shop. A man walks in while his wife looks around a bit before joining us.)

Customer: “Hi, I was looking to get into road biking as a means of commuting to and from work. Do you have any recommendations?”

Me: “Certainly! If you’re looking for a decently-priced road bike that has comfort built in, I would look at the [Bike]. It’s my personal favorite in the whole shop.”

(The customer’s wife has just joined us.)

Customer’s Wife: “Which bike are you looking at?”

Customer: “He’s showing me [Bike], and it looks really nice.”

Customer’s Wife: “I’ll let you buy it if you get me another ferret.”

Customer: “That… that’s actually really tempting.”

Me: *taken slightly aback* “Another ferret?”

Customer’s Wife: “Well, sure! We have five right now, three girls and two boys! We need another boy to balance it out.”

Me: “Sounds logical to me.”

Customer: *mulls over the idea*

Customer’s Wife: “Pleeeeaaase?”

Me: *jokingly* “Do it for the ferret!”

Customer: “Don’t encourage her. I don’t know…”

(Seeing this as an opportunity to joke some more with the customer’s wife, I point her over to the cruiser bikes.)

Me: “And here, ma’am, you should check out these bikes! They come with baskets, so you can take the ferrets with you!”

Customer’s Wife: “Ooh, yes! We should totally get one!”

(Cue exasperation from the customer. Sadly, the couple left without a bike.)

Directionless With Languages

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Language & Words, Technology, Transportation

(I’m working the electronics counter at a large retail store. A woman comes up to the counter and stares at the GPS systems. I ask if she needs help with anything.)

Customer: “My old GPS broke and I need a new one, but can you help me please find one that is in English?”

Me: “All the systems come pre-installed with English.”

Customer: “Really? My old system speaks a language I don’t understand and that’s why I need a new one.”

Me: “Ma’am, is your old GPS in the car? Can you bring it in?”

(She retrieved the GPS from her car and I took less than a minute to reset the language for her. She was nearly in tears because she was so grateful.)

Not Even Time To Air One’s Grievances

| TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

(It is almost 6:30 am and I get out of my car to walk to the fuel center to open for the day. When I’m halfway there I bid good morning to a lady at a pump.)

Customer: “…Do you work here?”

Me: *looks down at uniform* “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: *flicks receipt* “I got gas. Does the air machine work?”

(Our customers get complimentary air with a same visit gas purchase.)

Me: “As far as I know, yes. I can turn it on for you as soon as I get inside. Go ahead and pull up to the machine.”

(I take not six steps; the kiosk is still a few yards away.)

Customer: “Is it on yet?”

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