October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Transportation

A Far From Tireless Exercise

| Whitehorse, YK, Canada | Crazy Requests, Transportation

(A man comes up to the service counter and wants a quote on some tires.)

Customer: “I was wondering if you could tell me if you have any sales on all-season tires for my car?”

Me: ‘We always have tires on sale; do you know what size of tire you are looking for?” *I grab a piece of paper so I can write down the size*

Customer: “Yeah, they are either 215 or 205, uh… 65 or 60… or could be 70, and either 16 or 15 inch.”

Me: “Wow… that’s gonna take me quite a while to look up.”

Customer: “Why’s that?”

Me: ‘Well, you gave me 12 different tire sizes.”

A Well-Trained Conductor

| Liverpool, England, UK | Awesome Workers, Criminal/Illegal, Transportation

(I am a passenger travelling on the train when the conductor comes down to check tickets. A passenger in front of me purchases a ticket to the next stop. The train carries on and finally arrives at the next stop of the journey and the conductor notices the passenger is still on board with no intention of moving so approaches the passenger.)

Conductor: “This is your stop.”

Passenger: “No, it’s not.”

Conductor: “You asked for a ticket to the next stop. This is it.”

Passenger: “Well I meant [station several stops away].”

Conductor: “Okay, that’ll be [price].”

Passenger: “Nah, mate.”

Conductor: “You either buy a ticket or get off the train.”

Passenger: “You think I’m soft? I travel this train all the time and never buy a ticket.”

Conductor: “Well, with that information you can either get off this train now or wait here for the police to show up, delaying all of these other passengers.”

(The passenger refuses and the back and forth goes on for a while with customers getting agitated at the passenger. After a few minutes, the conductor goes to the back on the train and makes an announcement.)

Conductor: *over announcement system* “Apologies for the delay of this service. This is due to a lowlife passenger attempting to travel on this service without a valid ticket, who apparently thinks you’re all mugs for buying one.”

(With this, the train erupted into laughter and the passenger quickly got up and ran off the train, avoiding eye contact with everyone. The train then left the station only a few minutes later than planned.)

A Receipt Defeat

| Whitehorse, YK, Canada | Crazy Requests, Transportation

Customer: “Hey, you wouldn’t happen to remember me, would you?”

Me: “No, I can’t say that I do.”

Customer: “Well, I bought a car battery off you a couple of months ago and I was just wondering if you remembered me.”

Me: “No, I don’t remember you.”

Customer: “I was hoping you would remember me buying a battery from you. It wasn’t that long ago.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but I don’t remember you at all. Why is it important that I remember selling a battery to you?”

Customer: “I want to bring a battery back and get a new one under warranty”

Me: “All you need to bring a battery back under warranty is the original receipt. You don’t need to find the same person that sold you the battery.”

Customer: “That’s the thing; I can’t find the receipt so I was hoping you could vouch for me buying the battery from you so I could exchange the battery.”

Me: “Even if I remembered you, you still need the original receipt and paperwork with the serial number and warranty program number on it.”

Customer: “So there’s no way to get an exchange on a battery without the receipt even if you remember me?”

Me: “Yes.Even if I remembered you, you still need the receipt.”

Customer: “Do you guys keep a copy of the receipt anywhere?”

Me: “No, sir, we give you the receipt.”

Customer: “Wow, that sucks.”

Driving Directionless

| CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Transportation

(We have tricky pumps and constantly have.to explain to people how to use them…)

Customer: “The f****** pumps are not working!”

Me: “You have to push in the nozzle all the way.”

Customer: “I f****** did that. Can’t you just come and f****** help me?”

Me: “I’m busy right now; I’ll be outside in two minutes.”

(I wait two minutes and go outside and try pushing the nozzle all the way in and it doesn’t work… so I read the display screen.)

Me: “Sir, it says you need to lower the lever.”

Customer: “Well, at every other gas station you lift it up!”

Me: *slams down lever* “Well, at this gas station we follow directions.”

A Speedy Resolution

| VA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Transportation

(Working at a used car lot, I receive the following phone call:)

Customer: “I bought a car from you guys, and it has a vibration at 80 miles per hour, can you tell me what’s causing that?”

Me: “What is the vehicle in question sir?”

Customer: “A 2004 [Car].”

Me: “Sir, a slight vibration at high speed is normal in an 11 year old vehicle. Nothing is ‘causing’ it.”

Customer: “You don’t understand. I just want to know what’s causing the vibration in my car at 75, 80 miles per hour.”

Me: “Sir, is there any vibration at lower speeds?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Sir, that is normal operation for that vehicle.”

Customer: “So,what might be causing this vibration?”

Me: “…Sir, where in the state of Virginia are you finding a road with a speed limit of 80 miles per hour?”

Customer: “What? What does that have to do with my vibration?”

Me: “Sir, you are asking me to fix a problem that is occurring when you are operating your vehicle in an illegal fashion. You’ve already told me that there is no vibration at lower speeds, and the vibration only occurs when you violate the speed limit laws. I can’t very well fix a problem I can’t duplicate, and since our technicians don’t test drive customers’ vehicles at illegal speeds, I will never find the issue you’re describing.”

Customer: “Tell [Salesman] to call me.” *click*

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