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    Category: Transportation

    A Sad Sign Of The Times

    | Houston, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Politics, Transportation

    (I walk into the local shipping store to drop off a package. There is a senior couple in front of me. I overheard the last part of the conversation between the wife and the employee.)

    Wife: “So, you’re telling me that this store doesn’t have that promotion?”

    Employee: “No, I’m sorry. We’re privately owned, so we’re not carrying out the promotion.”

    Wife: “Well, you should have signs here telling me that!”

    Employee: “Yeah, I’m sorry…”

    Wife: *walks towards the exit while her husband slowly follows her behind him* “This is the seventh store I’ve been to that doesn’t have the promotion. Liars. They’re all LIARS! Just like OBAMA! He’s a LIAR! OBAMA! LIAR!”

    Husband: *looks at me and shrugs, embarrassed*

    Lawless And Clueless

    | FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Transportation

    (I work as a receptionist at a retirement home.)

    Resident #1: “I want you to call the police right away.”

    Me: “Um. May I ask why?”

    Resident #1: “I called for a taxi and it still isn’t here. I want the police to arrest the driver.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry about your wait but I don’t think the police should be involved with something like that.”

    Resident #1: “I don’t care. I’m a very important person. I have connections. Call the police.”

    Me: “Why don’t I call the taxi company to see where it is? I mean, it’s not like the driver can break traffic laws just to pick you up.”

    Resident #1: “I am above the law. With one word I can get this whole company shut down. I can—”

    Resident #2: *slowly walks up to desk with walker* “Is that your taxi outside?”

    Resident #1: “Ah, yes. Goodbye.”

    Resident #2: *waits until the first resident leaves* “What a b****.”

    Returns From The Dead

    , | Pasadena, MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Technology, Transportation

    (At the auto parts store I work for we offer free battery charging for any car/truck/boat batteries as long as they do not test bad.)

    Customer: “I’d like to get this battery charged please.”

    Me: “Okay, let me just test it real quick.”

    (This battery looks like crap, but it’s not leaking so I go ahead and test it.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but this battery is not good. It has a bad cell in it. I can’t charge it.”

    Customer: “What do you mean it’s bad?! This battery is pretty much new. You need to charge anyway.”

    Me: “Not gonna happen. It is actually dangerous if I try to charge this.”

    Customer: “I demand you charge this right NOW!”

    Me: “No. Your battery is dead; no amount of charging is going to bring it back. You will need to get a replacme—”

    Customer: “I SAID, CHARGE IT!”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Well, I demand to—”

    Me: “I am the manager. I will NOT charge this battery. It has a bad cell, and there is no way this battery is anywhere near new. Judging by the inch worth of grease around the case and the ungodly level of corrosion on the terminals, I would say this battery is at least 7-8 years old. And If I were to attempt to charge this over sized paperweight, there is a chance it could explode and cause serious damage to the people around it.”

    Customer: “But—”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “But—”

    Me: “Not happening.”

    Customer: “Crap… but I can’t afford a new battery.”

    Me: “Look, give me a chance to check the back. We do have a used battery program, and I may have one in stock.”

    (I walk in the back and find a used battery that fits the customer’s car.)

    Me: “I found this one in the back. Now it is classified as used, but that just means that someone returned a battery with no problems to it, but we can no longer sell it new.”

    Customer: *brightens* “Really? How much?”

    Me: “$43.”

    Customer: “Really? That’s great! I was worried that I was going to have to spend hundreds on a new battery. Thank you so much!” *buys battery and leaves*

    Me: *to coworker* “Why do people always demand we bring dead things back to life?”

    Coworker: “I don’t know, but let me know when you figure out how to do that.”

    Trying To Stamp Out Stupid

    | West Hartford, CT, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Top, Transportation

    (I am friendly with our neighborhood postal delivery lady, and always chat with her when taking the dog out for his afternoon walk. She was telling me about the new neighbors that just moved in.)

    Postal Lady: “Hey, how are you doing?”

    Me: “Good. Yourself?”

    Postal Lady: “I tell you, I have to deal with some pretty stupid people on my job. You’re going to like this. Do you know where the new neighbors just moved in?” *points to the house*

    Me: “Yeah. What about them?”

    Postal Lady: “Well, the other day, when I was when I was delivering their mail, the lady came screaming, waving her arms, running out of her house, because she wanted to ask me if she wants to mail something what does she need to do.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Postal Lady: “So I tell her if she puts something in the mailbox, just put the flag up. Then she asked, ‘What flag? You never gave me a flag!’ So I showed her, by moving it up and down. She responded, ‘I don’t think that you are very intelligent. That is NOT a flag. A flag is a piece of fabric on a pole. This is just piece of plastic!’”

    (I start laughing.)

    Postal Lady: “Wait, it gets better. Today, when I delivered her mail, the ‘flag’ was up. And in it I found this:”

    (She showed me an envelope with a hand written address, and where the stamp should have been was a square that read ‘First Class Mail: No Stamp Needed of Mail in the USA’ that was cut out of a piece of junk mail and taped on to the envelope.)

    Needs Oil On This Troubled Water

    | QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Transportation

    (I watch a fancy BMW pull up to the entrance to the fuel station. An old rich-looking man gets out and walks into the store.)

    Me: “Hey, how’s it going?”

    Customer: “Yeah, good.”

    Me: “What can I help you with today?”

    Customer: “I need to get some oil for my car.”

    Me: “Yup, all of our oils are on the rack beside you.”

    Customer: “Can you tell me what oil I need for my car?”

    Me: “I don’t know sir, and I’m not allowed to recommend anything. Company policy.”

    Customer: “You’re a fuel station and you can’t recommend me the correct oil I need for my car?”

    Me: “That is correct, sir.”

    Customer: “Well, I think that is completely stupid.”

    (The customer grabs a random bottle of oil from rack and pays for it.)

    Customer: “I’ll use this one, and if it’s wrong I’ll come back and sue you.”

    Me: “And THAT is why we can’t recommend one for you, sir!”


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