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  • Bigotry Is Not On The Menu
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  • Category: Transportation

    Interlocked Into That Price

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Transportation

    (A customer comes in who has an “interlock” on his car, which is a system the courts here put on cars of people who get convicted of drink driving. The interlock will only allow the driver to start their car once they blow in a breath test and get a nil alcohol reading. I am nearly finished checking this customer’s car in when he advises me of this.)

    Customer: “Yeah, so, my car has an interlock on it, just so you know”.

    Me: “Ah, ok. Well, thanks for letting us know and due to this there will be an additional $25 fee on top of your parking total”.

    Customer: “What?! That’s ridiculous! Why?”

    Me: “Because, sir, due to the interlock you will have to park your car yourself in our facility and our staff will be unable to move your car at all until you return, which does make it harder for us to get to any other cars behind yours.”

    (Customers has a grumble about this, and asks to speak to my supervisor, who tells him the exact same thing I have.)

    Customer: “Why can’t you just blow in my interlock when you need to move it? Are you afraid you’ll get a positive reading? Do you drink at work or something?”

    Supervisor: “No, sir. Not that that is your business but I DON’T drink at work and I will NOT blow into your interlock for OH&S reasons.”

    (Customer finally agrees to pay the $25 fee but has to have the last word.)

    Customer: “I think this is ridiculous; you guys certainly know how to milk the money out of people!”

    Me: “Well, I guess it just doesn’t pay to drink and drive, does it, mate?”

    Putting The Brakes On This Conversation

    | USA | Family & Kids, Transportation

    (It’s a snowy Saturday morning. I am waiting in line, directly behind a young woman and her little boy, who looks to be about six years old. The cashier is being friendly with him, and he is telling her all about the toy that was just purchased for him. His mother tells him it’s time to go, and then:)

    Cashier: “Have a great day and drive safely!”

    Mom: “Have a nice day.”

    Boy: “We WILL drive safely.” *pause* “Unless Mom goes like ‘aaaahh!’” *mimes looking shocked and stepping on the brakes*

    Mom: “[Boy]!” *hastily rushes him out of the store as I snicker*

    Not Feeling Neutral About Your Parking

    | NB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Transportation

    (It is the day before Good Friday, and the store is packed full of people. Obviously, so is the parking lot. A cart pusher has just brought in a handful of carts, and a greeter is tagging bags. One customer, already looking angry, heads straight to the elder greeter and tries to hand her his car keys.)

    Customer: “Go park my car.”

    Greeter: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t offer a valet service here.”

    Customer: “There’s no f****** parking spaces. Go park my f****** car!”

    Greeter: “Sir, I just got back from work after having a heart attack. What makes you think I’m going to be able to drive your car, let alone find you a parking space, when you haven’t?”

    Cart Pusher: “Where is your car right now? Parking in the fire lane makes working and shopping here dangerous. I can have you towed.”

    (Customer went beet red and left, hopefully back to his car!)

    TARDIS Rental Services

    | Portland, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Math & Science, Money, Transportation

    (I work in a travel agency and we handle a lot of rental car bookings. Note: if you book a car early, and want to change something about the booking, the rate for the car will change. This exchange takes place with a customer who has booked a car about three months prior:)

    Customer: “I’d like to change my booking to pick the car up a day earlier.”

    Me: “I’d be happy to take care of that.” *pulls up new booking info* “Your new rate is going to be  [several hundred dollars more].”

    Customer: “For that much, I could just go buy a car. The new rate is supposed to only be $30 dollars more for an extra day.”

    Me: “That’s not how it works. You booked this three months ago and that rate isn’t available anymore. That extra day rate is if you return it a day later, not if you pick it up a day earlier.”

    Customer: “Can’t you just go back to then and re-book it for me?”

    Me: “You want me to travel back to March and book this for you again?”

    Customer:“Yes.”

    Me: “I can’t travel through time to re-book this for you. I’m sorry. If you want to change it—”

    Customer: “—well never mind. I’ll just take care of it myself.” *storms out of the office*

    A CPU And A Very Fast Drive

    | NY, USA | Technology, Transportation

    (In the mid 1990s my friend has a new CPU on the way to his house and is a little too eager to get it installed. He calls the dispatcher of the delivery company. The dispatcher tells him the driver is making an exchange with another driver and he can meet them there. My friend drives out to the exchange site.)

    Driver: “Aren’t you the guy my driver just called about 10 minutes ago?”

    Friend: “Yes.”

    Driver: “Your house is a 30 minute drive from here.”

    Friend: “Yes.”

    Driver: “You made a 30 minute drive in 10 minutes?”

    Friend: “Yes.”

    Driver: “Have you ever considered becoming a driver for us?”

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