Category: Transportation

Not Even Time To Air One’s Grievances

| TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

(It is almost 6:30 am and I get out of my car to walk to the fuel center to open for the day. When I’m halfway there I bid good morning to a lady at a pump.)

Customer: “…Do you work here?”

Me: *looks down at uniform* “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: *flicks receipt* “I got gas. Does the air machine work?”

(Our customers get complimentary air with a same visit gas purchase.)

Me: “As far as I know, yes. I can turn it on for you as soon as I get inside. Go ahead and pull up to the machine.”

(I take not six steps; the kiosk is still a few yards away.)

Customer: “Is it on yet?”

Unable To Find The Path

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Funny Names, Transportation

Customer: “I need a part for my ‘pad sander.'”

Me: “I am sorry, sir, but we sell automotive parts, not tools.”

Customer: “No, I need part for my pad sander. ‘Pad sander!'”

Me: “Again, sir, we only sell automotive parts. Perhaps you should check with [Other Store]?”

Customer: “No, no, no. I need part for my ‘pad sander.’ My Nissan ‘Pad Sander.'”

Me: “Do you mean Nissan Pathfinder?”

Customer: “Yes! Are you an idiot or deaf?”

Should Have Been Trained In This

| Wales, UK | School, Technology, Transportation

(There is a Victorian Tram in the county’s most popular resort town. It is owned by the county council, and since most group bookings are long-distance and well ahead of time, the ‘dedicated’ Tramway booking line actually just gets diverted to our office, with a different ringtone/screen display than other calls.)

Me: “Bore da. Good morning. [Tramway].”

Customer: “Hiya, yep; I wanna book my school onto the Tram.”

Me: “No problem. What dates did you have in mind?”

(The customer and I continue to exchange questions over the phone without a hitch until I get to the last question…)

Me: “And does your group have any other special requirements?”

Customer: “Yes, can you let me know if the wi-fi is charged separately?”

Me: “What wi-fi, Mrs [Customer]?”

Customer: “The built-in wi-fi on the Tram.”

Me: “Mrs [Customer], I’m afraid there isn’t wi-fi on the Victorian Tram.”

Customer: “Well, okay. Do you know if the in-built DVD drive can play a normal CD?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there is not a built-in DVD drive, either. The Tram is very old.”

Customer: “I KNOW it’s old. I wanted to play the children a clip from [TV show] which did a feature on the Tram; it says it has barely been altered mechanically since it opened. I thought the children could watch it whilst they were actually ON the tram.”

Me: “‘Barely altered’ includes not decking out the Tram with wi-fi, TVs or DVD players, Mrs [Customer]. Most people like to enjoy the views during the tram ride and we have [summit centre] with the facilities to play them if you want to show your presentation there before descending again?”

Customer: “No, I wanted them to see it on the Tram itself. I can’t believe it hasn’t had an upgrade.”

Me: “Lack of upgrade is sort of the point. I’m sorry I can’t help you. Would you still like me to confirm the booking?”

Customer: “Not yet, I’ll check with [Headteacher] first. He needs to know about this.”

(The headteacher phones back several days later to confirm, apologising for the teacher – whom he described as ‘a bit dipsy.’)

You’re Parking Up The Wrong Tree

| Escondido, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Transportation

(I work as a security guard at a local bank. Typically my job is to open the door for people and direct people with any questions as well as to be a visual deterrent. There is a holiday parade that is running along one of the streets next to the back. I am told by my boss not to let anyone park in our lot for the parade since we have a smaller lot on a corner and do not have a lot of parking. The woman is an older lady who parks her car and proceeds to walk not towards the bank but to the street with a folding chair to watch the parade.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. I’m very sorry but you cannot park your car there. This is private property.”

Older Lady: “What do you mean? I can’t park here to watch the parade?”

Me: “The bank manager was very clear that this is private property and not to allow parade parking. I’m very sorry.”

Older Lady: “Well, the police said that they weren’t going to give out tickets because of the parking situation.”

Me: “That is very kind of them, but unfortunately this is still private property and not open for parade parking.”

Older Lady: “Well. the police said that I could park here and that local retailers and banks would be allowing this.”

Me: “They didn’t talk to the branch manager, so I guess he’s not aware of this.”

Older Lady: “If the police said it’s all right, I’m going to park here.”

Me: “The police can’t give permission to park on private property, and the number for the towing company to retrieve your car is available on the signs that explain that this lot is for bank business only.”

Older Lady: *full blown yelling* “Are you telling me that you know how the police work better than I do, young man?”

Me: *still absolutely calm and polite* “Well, seeing as I have a bachelor’s in police sciences, yes. I’m pretty sure I do, actually.”

Older Lady: “Well. Then… um…”

Me: “There is public parking right across the street. Would you like me to go and stand in a spot for you, ma’am?”

Older Lady: “Yes, that would be very kind of you, young man.”

What A Total Dipstick

| Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

(The customer pulls up on the service drive. She is driving a brand new car. She does not bother being polite, instead gets out of the car screaming.)

Customer: “This car is a lemon; I’m gonna sue you all!

(Her car is pouring oil on the drive. The service advisor goes over, she shuts it off, and he opens the hood and goes to check the oil. There is no dipstick.)

Service Advisor: “Where is the dipstick?”

Customer: *smugly* “I put it in the trunk so I don’t lose it.”

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