October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Transportation

Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 7

| Vancouver Island, BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Transportation

(A customer storms in waving his contract in the air.)

Customer: “I want this insurance coverage OFF! I returned this car yesterday and I realized today that the insurance coverage is still on here!”

Me: “Okay, let me have a look. It looks as though you accepted our collision coverage on the vehicle when you picked up.”

Customer: “But I didn’t even get in an accident so I would like a refund.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, we can’t refund you for that just because you did not get into an accident. You agreed to take the collision coverage and would have signed for it on your contract.”

Customer: “No, this is stupid. I want this taken off now.”

Me: “I’m sorry. You have signed off on a legally binding contracting accepting our collision coverage for the four days you rented a car from us.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t even look at what I was signing so it’s not my fault.”

Me: “We go over every contract verbally with our customers and explain each part that we need a signature on. We also do not add coverage on without discussing it with our customers first so it seems you agreed to it at the time.”


Me: “Again, sir, I’m really sorry, but you signed for this on a legal contract.”

Customer: “Let me speak to your manager NOW!”

Me: “Absolutely.”

(My manager has been sitting in the back office listening the entire time. He walks out, and the customer repeats everything again.)

Manager: “Sir, you put your signature down on a legal contract accepting this coverage. I wish that I could get a full refund on my yearly insurance just because I did not get into an accident, but unfortunately it does not work that way.”

Customer: “Well I didn’t read what I was signing. This is f****** ridiculous. I ACCIDENTALLY SIGNED IT!”

Manager: “WELL, THEN, WE ACCIDENTALLY COVERED YOU AND THE VEHICLE, NOW DIDN’T WE? I suggest next time you put yourself in the position of signing a LEGAL DOCUMENT that you will spend time reading it and pay attention when someone explains it to you.”

(The customer promptly left.)

Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 6
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 5
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 4

Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 6

| FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

Caller: “I would like to get a better auto insurance rate.”

Me: “I’ll be glad to go over your policy for possible discounts.”

Caller: “No need. The discount that I want added is one that most people will not qualify for. I belong to an elite group of drivers that do not ever have accidents.”

Me: “Unfortunately, sir, we do not offer that discount.”

(Probably because that caller was the only one in that ‘elite’ group.)

Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 5
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 4
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 3

He Keeps Coming Back And Back And Back To The Future

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV, Transportation

Caller: “Yeah, hi, I have a 1995 Olds Cutlass. I was wondering if you could tell me the price and availability on a new flux capacitor?”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, did you say “flux capacitor”?”

Caller: “Yes, that’s right, for a ’95 Olds Cutlass.”

(If you don’t already know, the flux capacitor is a made up ‘part’ from the ‘Back to the Future’ movies, the component that “makes time travel possible”)

Me: *obviously thinking I’m being messed with* “Haha, seriously, what can I do for you?”

Caller: “I said I need a flux capacitor. My car is running like crap. My buddy is a mechanic and told me I needed a new one.”

(We get a lot more prank calls in auto parts stores than most people realize. Very rarely do we get something original; it’s always the same thing, and to make matters worse, these people are very dedicated to trying to make us look or feel stupid.)

Me: *at this point I can tell this guy is determined to break me* “I’m sorry sir, but your friend is obviously mistaken, as the flux capacitor does not exist. It was made up for a movie, so unless your car is an ’85 Delorean, capable of time travel, you do not need a flux capacitor.”

Caller: “Listen, my buddy has been working on cars his entire life, and if he says that’s what I need, then that’s what I need. I’ve told you twice my car is a ’95 Cutlass.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it sounds like your friend is trying to pull one over on you, as I’ve already explained, the part you are looking for does not exist. You may want to call him and ask what is really wrong with your car, or take it to a reliable mechanic that can properly diagnose your problem.”

Caller: “Oh, I’m gonna call him, and you’re not gonna be happy when I have HIM call you to get this part!” *click*

(About 20 minutes later, one of my coworkers answers the phone, I hear him say, “Yeah he’s here; I’ll get him for you,” and hands me the phone.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I called you earlier about the ’95 Olds Cutlass. Well, I talked to my buddy again. He said he’s been doing this stuff longer than you’ve been alive and that if you know what’s good for you, you will stop wasting my time and his and look me up a d*** flux capacitor!”

Me: “You know what? You’re right. After our last conversation, I jumped into my Delorean, went back and got the cataloging department to fix there mistake and put it in the computer. Now when I look it shows that I have on in stock for $299.99!”

Caller: “Funny how your story has changed after I called my buddy again. But that price is outrageous; I can get it cheaper down the street.” *click*

(Two hours go by without hearing from him again, until he walks in the store.)

Customer: “Are you the guy I talked to about the flux capacitor for my ’95 Cutlass?”

Me: “Yep, that was me.”

Customer: “Well apparently, you’re the only place in town that has one, so I’ll be needing that now.”

Me: *blink*

Customer: “Well, are you gonna get it or not?”

Me: “You’re obviously very dedicated to this joke, but if you wouldn’t mind I really have a lot to do today and don’t have the time to stand here humoring you on this.”

Customer: “What the h*** are you talking about? Give me my d*** part and I’ll be on my way; you’re the one wasting MY time!”

Me: “Sir, as I explained to you over the phone, the flux capacitor was a made up part, for a series of time travel movies. This is the component of the time machine that makes time travel possible. It does not exist in the real world; it is not a part on your car or any other car. One of two things is happening here: either you have nothing better to do with your time other than making my day difficult by insisting on continuing on with this less than original prank, or your buddy is messing with you, wasting your time and mine, and trying to make you look like a fool. If that’s the case, I can’t help you other than suggesting you find a new friend.”

Customer: *becoming enraged* “I f***ing called you and you told me you had it in stock. Now you’re gonna stand there and tell me that not only do you not have one, but you’re going to try telling me that it doesn’t exist and accuse my friend of lying to me?! I’m calling your company to file a complaint! You haven’t heard the last from me! I’ll be back with my buddy and you’ll be sorry!”

(10 minutes later…)

Customer: *walks back in the store* “Listen I talked to him again, and he says if you don’t sell me my flux capacitor, he’s going to come down here and physically make you get it off the shelf. He wasn’t too happy when I told him what you said about him!”

(At this point I finally realize that he is not messing around; his friend did in fact tell him that he needed a flux capacitor, and he truly believed it.)

Me: *handing him my cell phone with a Back to the Future Wikipedia page loaded up* “Sir, before we continue this conversation, could I please ask you to read this?”

Customer: *reads a few minutes, then hands me my phone* “I have to make a phone call…

(He walks out of the store and pulls out his cell phone. At this point all four of the people I’m working with come out of their hiding places laughing in astonishment of what’s going on unable to believe how well I’m keeping my composure. We watch him outside pacing and yelling into his phone for about five minutes, before he re-enters the store.)

Customer: “Yeah… can I please have an ignition module for a ’95 Olds Cutlass?”

The Death Of That Sale

| Germany | Crazy Requests, Transportation

(I work for a business that usually caters to B2B transportation. I’m responsible for the sender side of the transport and look after a lot of hair product and cosmetics manufacturers. The customers that make and sell hair products are especially obnoxious usually.)

Me: *picking up phone* “This is [Business]. [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was wondering when this parcel will arrive.” *gives transportation number*

Me: “All right… Oh, it looks like the truck has been stopped due to a traffic accident. I’m not sure if we’ll be able to deliver this today.”

Customer: “What do you mean, you’re not sure? It’s very important that this arrives today.”

Me: “Let me call the depot and ask. I’ll call you back in a moment.”

(Speaking to my colleagues, I find out the truck has been the one actually involved in the accident, not just unable to get around the accident site. I call back the customer.)

Me: “I’m sorry; we really won’t be able to deliver this today. All other trucks—”

Customer: *interrupting* “No. This has to arrive today. It’s very important shampoo! Our customer needs it TODAY.”

Me: “The truck has been stopped because it was in an accident. There’s no other truck that can pick up the goods, because it’s almost four pm and every other truck is busy. Also, the police have confiscated the goods as well as the truck.”

Customer: “TODAY! I don’t see the problem! The driver can just get another truck, unload the parcels, get off his lazy a**, and continue!”

Me: “…The driver died in that accident.”

Customer: “So, get another one! It’s important shampoo!”

(I ended the call as politely as possible, telling her to best send out the goods again so they will arrive the next day for sure. She kept ranting until I hung up. Unfortunately, this happens way too often–usually in less extreme situations, fortunately.)

Getting The Hobbit Price

| Canada | Money, Transportation

(I drive a public bus for a company that covers a large geographic area and several different modes of transportation. Because of that, we have multiple zones costing different fares depending on how far you are traveling, with the lowest adult fare being $2.75.)

Passenger: “How much is it?”

Me: “Where are you going to today?”

Passenger: *confused* “…There and back?”

Me: “…$2.75 sir.”

Page 3/4412345...Last