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    Category: Transportation

    You Won’t Be-Leaf It

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Awesome Customers, Top, Transportation

    (I am on the bus. There was a rather severe windstorm the previous night.)

    Passenger: “Why are we stopping in the middle of the road?”

    Driver: “There’s a fallen tree in the road.”

    (The passenger talks to his companions for a few seconds.)

    Passenger: “Can you let us off?”

    Driver: “Why?”

    Passenger: “We’re going to move the tree.”

    (The passenger is a rather skinny looking guy.)

    Driver: “…Sure.”

    (The passenger and his friends get off the bus, then proceed to drag the fallen tree out of the road.)

    Driver: “Well, I’ll be…”

    (Thanks to the passengers who cleared it, and to the bus driver who let them off to do it—since it’s against policy to let them off at any place but a proper bus stop.)

    About To Be Publicly Humiliated

    | Portland, OR, USA | Transportation

    (Several teenagers are sitting in the back of a city bus, playing a boombox radio very loudly and clearly annoying the other riders.)

    Driver: “Sir, please turn your radio down so other passengers can ride in peace.”

    Passenger: *loudly* “Public transportation means PUBLIC!”

    Driver: “Please, sir… for the comfort of all our passengers, please turn down the volume on your radio.”

    Passenger: *even more loudly* “PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION MEANS PUBLIC!”

    (At this point, the driver slowly stands up from his seat, pausing in the aisle. He is huge, at least 6’5″ tall and 220 pounds. He doesn’t say a word. Instead, he just smiles serenely, takes off his watch, and takes one step toward the back of the bus.)

    Passenger: *turns off radio rapidly*

    A Sad Sign Of The Times

    | SK, Canada | Money, Top, Transportation

    (At the gas station where I work, all electronic payment methods are currently offline. To combat this, we have numerous 8×11 signs that say “DEBIT AND CREDIT DOWN! CASH ONLY PLEASE!” A customer comes in to pay for gas and pulls out his credit card.)

    Me: “Sorry, that card isn’t going to work. Our debit and credit systems are down.”

    Customer: “Well why aren’t there any signs telling me this?”

    Me: “There are three signs on every gas pump, including the one you were on. There are four on the door you opened to get in here. There are two on the counter that you currently have your hands on, and there are four more on the glass window I’m currently talking to you through.”

    (The customer goes silent, realizing that he’s just missed seeing 13 signs. This happens five more times in the next 20 minutes with other customers, so I’m forced to resort to going on the intercom with every gas customer after that. Before allowing them to get fuel, I ask if they are paying with cash, with an alarming number of people all saying ‘No’, with one notable exception.)

    Me: *over the intercom* “Pump number 4, are you paying with cash?”

    Customer: “Yes, I can read the signs all over the pumps.” *laughs*

    Me: “Ha ha, nice! Apparently most people can’t. ”

    Customer: “Oh, I know. I’ve worked with the public before. I get scared sharing the road with these people!”

    Ice Cream Is The Back Up Plan

    | Yorkshire, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Top, Transportation

    (I work at a charity run property. My job is to greet visitors and, occasionally, help out other departments. Today is unbelievably busy so I’ve been asked to help the car park team. It’s the hottest day of the year.)

    Visitor: *pulls up* “Where to?”

    Me: *points to a free space* “Just over there, please.”

    (The lady drives in that direction, and I look around for a free space for the next car. When I turn around I see that she’s parked in the middle of the exit lane, effectively blocking in everybody else.)

    Me: “Excuse me, Miss? You’re blocking the way there. Can you move your car to that space?”

    Visitor: “I’m not in the way! My son’s got short legs! We need to park here to be closer to the path.”

    Me: “No, please move your car. See…” *points to the lanes we’ve made between cars* “…they all lead here, and you’re blocking the exit.”

    Visitor: “Then make a new exit! I’m not moving!”

    (By now there’s a line of cars waiting to be directed, and I’m getting flustered.)

    Me: “If you’d please just—”

    Visitor #2: “Don’t bother kid, she’s not listening. Hey lady! Move your car or we can’t get through!”

    (Visitor #1 goes red and moves her car to the space I’d pointed out. A few minutes after I park him, Visitor #2 comes over with an ice cream.)

    Visitor #2: “Because ice cream makes everything better!”

    Fare The Horde

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Awesome Customers, Criminal/Illegal, Money, Top, Transportation

    (On my Seattle bus, a passenger tries to slip in through the back door and sneak to a seat without paying.)

    Bus Driver: “Please come up and pay, sir.”

    Fare-evading Passenger: *smirks and ignores him*

    Bus Driver: “Sir, please come up and pay.”

    Fare-evading Passenger: *continues ignoring him*

    (Fed up, I intervene.)

    Me: “That’s you, bro.”

    Fare-evading Passenger: *smirks again*

    (I wait a few seconds before I get up, walk over, and pull out one of his ear-buds.)

    Me:Look. I got three hours of sleep last night, I’m having a bad morning, and you are not going to make me late for work. Get your self-entitled a** up there and pay your d*** fare!”

    Fare-evading Passenger: *slinks up to the front of the bus and pays*

    (Note that I’m wearing a t-shirt with “Thrall” from World of Warcraft. Another passenger at the front notices and shouts back towards me…)

    Another Passenger: “FOR THE HORDE!”

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