• Retract The Tract
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  • July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

    Category: Transportation

    Demanding Understanding

    | MI, USA | Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (I work the front counter of the repair center. The customer coming to get her car is notorious for trying every trick in the book to not pay for repairs. Because she’s such a problem, she always gets a VERY generous discount.)

    Me: “Okay, Mrs. [Name], that will be $150 today for installation and the interior detail.”

    Customer: “I was only supposed to pay for a part. I’m only giving you $50.”

    Me: “Unfortunately, you have to pay for the installation of the part, the taxes, and also your detail. How would you like to pay?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “How would you like to pay? Cash, check, or charge?”

    Customer: “What? What are you saying?!”

    Me: “I’m saying you have to pay me.”


    Me: “Well—”


    (I scream right back at her.)


    Customer: “…Do you take Visa?”

    A Better Cliché, A Better Day

    | Prescott, AZ, USA | Awesome Customers, Transportation

    (I am helping a customer adjust his shuttle reservation. I am having a horrible day; I am not feeling well, so my mood isn’t good but I don’t let it affect my inclination to help customers.)

    Me: “Okay, sir, you’re all set.”

    Customer: *happily* “Oh, bless your heart! Peace be with you, and all that s***!”

    Me: *bursts out laughing*

    Customer: “I hope you have a better day, and not just because of me!”

    He Got BUS-ted

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Top, Transportation

    (I’m at the busiest train station in the state, waiting to get out of the station to grab some lunch whilst I wait for my train. I get stuck behind a man whose train ticket will not allow him to exit through the ticket gates.)

    Passenger: “Excuse me, my ticket isn’t working!”

    Employee: “Oh, can I see your ticket, please?”

    Passenger: “I bought this from a news agency. It’s supposed to work on all trains!”

    (The passenger hands the employee a pre-paid bus ticket.)

    Employee: “I’m sorry, sir, but this ticket won’t work here. This is not a train ticket.”

    Passenger: “But I bought it from a newsagent! It has to work!”

    Employee: “I don’t know what else to tell you, mate. This ticket will not work on this service, and you have wasted your money. I can let you through the gate, though, if you’ll just step back to let the gate open.”

    Passenger: “This is RIDICULOUS! This ticket is supposed to work! I used my hard-earned money on it! I spent Australian currency on this! Why isn’t it working?!”

    (There is now a very long line of irate people waiting for the man to just go through the now open gate. The employee is dumbfounded as to why the man won’t just leave. I lose my temper because I’m hungry and my train is to leave shortly, so I step in.)

    Me: “Dude. You bought the wrong ticket. That ticket is a bus ticket. Operative word: BUS. This is a train station.”

    Passenger: “I don’t care! I bought it and therefore it should work!”

    Me: “Yeah, it will work on a bus, but that brings us back to the original predicament: this is a train station, so your ticket will not work, no matter how much you harass people about it.”

    Passenger: “Nobody asked you, you little b****.”

    Me: “No, you’re right; nobody asked me. But I’m f****** hungry, and you are holding up a few dozen people. So please shut up, accept the fact that you screwed up, and get out of the way.”

    Passenger: “You’ve got a mouth on you, don’t you?”

    Me: “I do, and I’d like to fill it with food, so please get the f*** out of my way.”

    (The passenger storms off, and I ask the employee if she can keep the gate open for me as I don’t want my ticket to get rejected on the way back through. She lets me through, and I go to get some food and come back. As I come back to the gate, there is a security guard and another employee standing with the first employee. The security guard approaches me with a notepad.)

    Security Guard: “Excuse me, miss: I just have a question for you. Are you in any way affiliated with [rail company] as a contractor or employee?”

    Me: “No, I’m just trying to get to Woolongong to see a few friends.”

    Security Guard: *closes notepad and smiles* “Thanks for that. That guy you told off? He tried to file an official complaint against you. He wouldn’t believe [Employee] when she said you don’t work here.”

    Employee: “And thanks for that, by the way. Enjoy your trip to the coast!”

    Non-Flight Risk

    | Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Top, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    (A passenger takes a flight from British Columbia to Newfoundland with one connection in between in Calgary. With roughly an hour to make the connection, she should have an easy time, especially since all flights are on time, and her gates are right across the room from each other. However, she misses her connecting flight. Our airline, at no additional fee, moves her to the next available flight in six hours. Within an hour or so, however, she calls our call center.)

    Passenger: “I’d like to make a complaint!”

    Agent: “Oh? I’m sorry to hear that. How can I assist you?”

    Passenger: “I’m calling because your airline made me miss my connecting flight, and would not provide me a hotel for the night.”

    Agent: “Oh, wow. I’m terribly sorry to hear that. What is your reservation code? I’ll see if I can find out if there is something we can do.”

    (The agent reviews the reservation, and sees that the passenger has been re-accommodated to a new flight, and has been given a meal voucher for within the airport.)

    Agent: “With all due respect, ma’am, it seems that your flight into Calgary was actually early, and you had just over an hour to connect to your connecting flight. It even shows that the agent at the gate called your name a few times. I’m not sure how we caused you to miss your flight.”

    Passenger: “It was all your fault! And I want you guys to pay for my hotel for the night!”

    Agent: “Again, ma’am, I apologize for—”

    Passenger: “It was all the pilot’s fault! He didn’t tell me what time it was!”

    Agent: “I’m sorry, what?”

    Passenger: “The time! He didn’t tell me what time it was supposed to make an announcement about what time it is.”

    Agent: “Ma’am, as a former gate agent at the airport, I can assure you that the captain does make those announcements. Also, in the case that he does not, I happen to know that roughly every 15 feet within the airport, there is a clock on a TV, food service station, and in every lounge. May I ask where you were that you were unable to see the clocks or hear the gate agent?”

    Passenger: “That’s none of your business! Now, on top of paying for my hotel, I want you to pay me for my time that you’ve cost me by making me miss my flight. Give me back my money for this flight.”

    Agent: “So, ma’am, let me see if I understand this: you got on a flight, knowing you had a connection in Calgary. On your confirmation, it told you the time you would arrive and leave. The captain may not have announced what time it was over the PA system, but within the airport, there were many clocks and many attempts at calling your name to get you on your connecting aircraft. When you did not make it onto the flight, we re-accommodated you at no fee, and even gave you a meal voucher for your additional hours at the airport. Now, you would like us to give you a free flight, AND reimburse you for the hotel that you only get about five hours of use from.”

    Passenger: “Listen, are you stupid? You need to stop repeating me and get me some money.”

    Agent: “I’m sorry, ma’am; I am not going to be able to help you.”

    Passenger: “Tonight?”

    Agent: “Ever.”

    Honest Conductor Versus Dishonest Conduct

    | Boston, MA, USA | Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (I’m riding the train when a passenger with a walker approaches the area where you pay. As she gets up the first stair, she trips, making a second passenger in front of her drop her wallet. I see the first passenger snatch up the money that falls from the second passenger’s wallet. She takes her seat and the other passenger confronts her.)

    Passenger #2: “Excuse me, I think you have my money. There was $30 in my wallet before it fell, and now there’s none.”

    Passenger #1: “Well this is all my money for my tickets and trains. It’s not yours.”

    Passenger #2: “The conductor told me you grabbed it when it fell.”

    Passenger #1: “Well that’s not true. IT’S MY MONEY!”

    Me: “Then why is it folded differently than the rest of your money?”

    (Passenger #1 finally gives up and gives back the money. The conductor even apologizes to Passenger #2 for the bad behavior of Passenger #1.)

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