Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Talking At-At Cross Purposes
    (1,410 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Transportation

    Going Loco(motive)

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Top, Transportation

    (I work security at a light rail. The last light rail heading south comes through my station at 11:38 pm. It is currently 11:50 pm.)

    Patron: “Excuse me, officer, when is the next light rail heading south supposed to come?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, the last light rail heading south left at 11:38. There are no more running till tomorrow morning at 5:30 am.”

    Patron: “Bull-s***! I always catch the light rail later than this. You are full of s***! Just tell me when the next one is coming.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, their are no more coming tonight. I have been working at this particular station for six months, and can assure you that no more are coming tonight.”

    Patron: “Well, how the h*** are you getting home?”

    Me: “Well sir, when my shift ends, I drive myself home.”

    Patron: “Well, you’re gonna have to drive me home then.”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, I will not be able to do that. If you would like I can call you a cab. But there are no more light rails heading south tonight.”

    Patron: “Aren’t you security? You have to give me a ride home. It’s not my fault the f****** light rail stopped running early. Give me a f****** ride home.”

    Me: “No, sir, I will not give you a ride home. Unfortunately there are no light rails running south anymore, and if you are not catching the light rail north or east, I am going to have to ask you to leave, due to a no loitering law on the light rail stations.”

    Patron: “Bull-s***! I ain’t going nowhere if you don’t give me a ride!”

    Me: “Sir, if you refuse to leave, I am going to be forced to radio the light rail police.”

    Patron: “Call the mother-f****** police. I don’t give a f***!”

    (I go through with his “request” to call the police. When they arrive, he demands they give him a ride, and continues to refuse to leave. They end up giving him a ride—to jail.)

    You’ll Need A Brake After This

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Transportation

    (A customer has had one of our cars for three days, when he calls our customer service number.)

    Customer: “The car is stuck in park. No matter what I do, it will not go out of park. I’m trying pretty hard, but I don’t want to break the gear shift.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear about that; let’s take a look at this and see what we can do. Are you able to start the car at all?”

    Customer: “Yes the car starts just fine, and everything works. It just won’t move.”

    Me: “Are there any indicator lights on?”

    Customer: “All of them come on when you start the car.”

    Me: “Okay, go ahead and put your foot on the break, flush to the floor.”

    Customer: “What? What is that? What do you mean?”

    Me: “The brake pedal. Go ahead and push that down, and then shift into reverse.”

    Customer: “I still don’t know what you mean.”

    Me: “The pedal next to the accelerator. Push that down.”

    Customer: “It worked! Thank you so much; I thought I was going to be stuck here!”

    Her Shipping Method Is Full Of Holes

    | Jacksonville, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to ship this textbook.”

    Me: “I can help you with that, ma’am. I would suggest, however, purchasing a mailer or box to ship it in. This box is not made for shipments.”

    Customer: “What! Why can’t I use this?!”

    Me: “Because it’s a Krispy Kreme donut box.”

    Putting His Own Spin On It

    | WA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Transportation

    (I work in a gas station. An older customer comes in, and starts ranting at me. A younger male customer stands behind her, waiting for her to be done.)

    Older Customer: “You know most vehicles have their gas nozzle on the driver’s side of the car, right?”

    Me: “Well, I can’t really say one way or another but—”

    Older Customer: “You should put more pumps on the left side so the MAJORITY of people can use your pumps.”

    Me: “I don’t really underst—”

    Older Customer: “It’d really be easier if you just made more on the LEFT SIDE, because all the cars have it on that side.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, we DO rotate the pumps every six months.”

    Customer: “Oh! Well all right then!”

    (The older customer walks out cheerfully.)

    Younger Customer: “You… rotate them?”

    Me: “Yup, pick ‘em up, swivel ‘em around, set ‘em back down.”

    Younger Customer: “Well played…”

    Extra Reserves Of Stupidity

    | Fairfax, VA, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Transportation

    (I’m about to move into a new apartment. The parking situation at this complex is pretty relaxed. It allows guests/non residents to park there during the day, in any spot that isn’t reserved for residents who pay extra for their spots. I go to the leasing office to pick up my keys. I’m about to go up to the counter, when a woman bursts into the office and yells at the receptionist.)

    Woman: “Excuse me! I think my car was just stolen!”

    Receptionist: “Stolen? Oh my gosh! Where was your car?”

    Woman: “I was at my friend’s home for just a few minutes. I come outside, and my car is gone. It’s just gone!”

    Receptionist: “Well, do you think you may have parked it in a reserved space? We have a tow truck come in to clear cars in reserved parking spaces.”

    Woman: “What? No one told me not to park in such a space! Besides, my friend is out of town so she couldn’t even tell me not to park there. And besides, I was only inside for a few minutes!”

    Receptionist: “I really do apologize, ma’am. Let me find out what I can.”

    (The receptionist tries her best to calm the woman down, and calls the contracted tow company. She gives them a description of the car.)

    Receptionist: “Yes, ma’am, they did tow your car. You had parked it in a reserved space.”

    Woman: “This is ridiculous! I have an appointment in 30 minutes; I shouldn’t have to be dealing with this!”

    (The receptionist is trying to be as accommodating as possible. I end up taking a seat, realizing I’m not going to be getting any help until this is resolved. The receptionist disappears into the back office to get approval to order a cab, and even have the property offer to pay for it. As soon as she leaves, the woman looks at me.)

    Woman: “It’s like we’re living in a police state. It’s totally unbelievable! People are waiting in the bushes for the littlest things. You know, I was just feeding my friend’s cats! No good deed goes unpunished.”

    Me: “I’m moving in today, and a few weeks ago when I came here for the first time, I knew better than to park in a space that had ‘RESERVED’ written on it in large letters.”

    (The woman shuts up and waits for the girl to come back. She was not necessarily calmer, but she did tone down her ranting!)

    Page 23/30First...2122232425...Last