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    Category: Transportation

    The Drive To Do Good

    | Dublin, Ireland | Awesome Workers, Theme Of The Month, Top, Transportation

    (I have a bunch of friends over for a concert, and we all stay at the same place in South County Dublin, about 20 minutes from the City Centre. It is almost midnight by the time we get to the bus stop. Dublin Bus provides a free shuttle service to the concert, but by that time all the free shuttle buses are gone. Just then, an out of service bus arrives.)

    Bus Driver: “Hm, there’s a lot of you left here. Tell you what: we’ll just pretend I’m a shuttle.”

    Me: “Sorry, when’s the next Nightlink?

    Bus Driver: “That just left; the next one’s at 02:00 h. You might have to get a cab.”

    (I try to call Enquiries for a cab company, but can’t because my phone is out of battery. My friends are all from abroad and therefore don’t have Irish Enquiry numbers on their phones. The bus driver overhears our increasingly worried conversation and gives me his phone. At this stage we’re almost at Trinity College, where the shuttle terminates.)

    Me: “Thanks, are you going on to Donnybrook Garage?”

    Bus Driver: “Yeah, don’t worry. You can stay on.”

    (I try to get a cab, but am told by the cab company that they can’t send out a seven-seater to the bus garage but we should just flag one down—pretty much an impossibility.)

    Me: *to my friends* “S***, we’ll have to flag one down… or two, rather.”

    (At this stage, the only people left on the bus are me, my friends and one guy on the back bench. We’re all getting seriously worried about getting home.)

    Bus Driver: “Right, so where are you all going?”

    Me: “Deansgrange!”

    Guy on the back bench: “Dun Laoghaire!”

    (Both these suburbs are off the same main road, about three miles apart.)

    Bus Driver: “Shag it, I’ll drop you all home!”

    (The driver dropped us, and presumably the guy from Dun Laoghaire, all the way to our respective street corners, thus staying on about half an hour after his shift ended and going out of his way about 10 miles there and back. All we had to repay him for his awesomeness was one of our homemade message board badges commemorating the concert meet-up and half a Duty Free bag of gummi bears, and he accepted them with a smile. That’s why I love this country.)

    Respect Is Learned Before It Is Earned

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month, Top, Transportation

    (I am a teenage passenger on a public bus and there is an older gentleman talking so loudly on his cell phone that he’s drowning out my music player. I talk to the driver, who’s clearly just as annoyed by the man as the rest of us are.)

    Me: “He’s being really loud. Is there anything you can do about it?”

    Driver: “I would, but I’ve already been written up twice this week because rude customers complained about me telling them off; one more and I lose my job. I can’t take the chance.”

    Me: “Okay, no problem…”

    (I go over and stand in front of the rude passenger who’s still on his phone.)

    Rude Passenger: *to his phone* “…KIDS ARE SO RUDE THESE DAYS! THEY HAVE NO RESPECT FOR THEIR ELDERS!”

    Me: “Excuse me, sir.”

    (He ignores me and keeps talking. I decide enough is enough, and snatch the phone from him and turn it off before handing it back to him.)

    Me: “First off, it’s rude to ignore someone when they address you. Second, it’s really disrespectful to be so loud in a public space; I couldn’t even hear my music over your griping. Maybe you wouldn’t have so much to complain about if you set a better example.”

    (He was quiet the entire rest of the trip, and the driver gave me a free all-day pass!)

    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Transportation

    (I work as a food runner for a hospital. My job requires me to wear a tuxedo. One day after work, I stop by a nearby dollar store to get a soda. I’m sitting on the bench outside the store drinking my soda when a fancy car pulls up right in front of me. A man gets out and walks around the car.)

    Man: “Ahem.”

    (I look up at him and see he’s looking right at me, but I don’t do anything.)

    Man: *louder* “Ahem!”

    Me: “What?”

    Man: “You incompetent moron! Do you need to be told how to do your job?”

    Me: “What are you talking about?”

    Man: “That’s it, you’ve just lost your tip. Now get over here and park my car.”

    (I realized he must think I’m a valet because I’m still wearing my tux.)

    Me: “I don’t work here, dude. Leave me alone.”

    Man: “You will address me as ‘sir’, and you will do your job right now, or I will go into that store, find your manager and have you fired for your unprofessional behavior. Look at you, drinking cola while you’re on the job! It’s because of people like you that our economy is collapsing!”

    Me: “Listen, a**hole, I already told you I don’t work here. Leave me alone and park your own d*** car.”

    Man: “That does it, I’m going to find your manager! You’ll be standing in line at the soup kitchen this time next week!”

    (He locks his car door and storms into the store. About five minutes later, he returns with the store manager, pointing furiously at me.)

    Man: “There, you see? That’s the valet who refused to park my car and insulted me! I demand that you fire him immediately!”

    (The manager looks at him like he’s insane.)

    Manager: “Sir, we don’t have valets. He doesn’t work here.”

    Man: “I don’t want to hear your excuses! You will fire that man immediately!”

    Manager: “I told you already, that guy doesn’t work for us. This is [name of store].”

    Man: “Have you all lost your minds? You think that because Obama’s in the White House that you can get away with not showing me the respect I deserve? You think Obama will save you after people like you destroy this country?”

    (The man rants about President Obama and the “destruction of American values” for a good two minutes. The manager is too stunned to say anything. Finally the man gets back in his car and drives away. The manager looks at me and I just shrug.)

    Related:
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 5

    Policy No Evil, Speak No Evil

    | ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (The call centre I work at specializes in roadside assistance. We have a script to follow to ensure that we get the customer the proper service. This call comes in at 9:20, ten minutes before the end of my shift.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling roadside assistance. How may I help you today?”

    Caller: “My car won’t open!”

    Me: “Okay, I can certainly help with that. May I have your policy number?”

    Caller: “Why do you need that?”

    Me: “So I can access your policy and confirm coverage.”

    Caller: “Fine! It’s [number].”

    Me: “Thank you. And may I have your first and last name?”

    Caller: “Just send someone!”

    Me: “I’d be happy to, ma’am, but first I need to verify the information in our files.”

    Caller: “I gave you my policy number! You don’t need anything else!”

    (We actually can’t go forward in the program without the customer’s name. I explain that to her and she eventually confirms her name.)

    Me: “I’m showing that you’re in Texas. And what is the year, make, and model of your vehicle, ma’am?”

    Caller: “You don’t need that! Stop asking so many questions! Just unlock my car!”

    Me: “Ma’am, in order to send out service, we have to know what type of vehicle needs to be unlocked. Different vehicles require different equipment.”

    (She argues with me for 5 more minutes. At this point, I am supposed to be off about 20 minutes ago. She finally confirms the vehicle.)

    Me: “What colour is that vehicle?”

    Caller: “God d*** it! Why are you asking so many questions?! I use this service all the time! They never ask me so many questions! Send me service now!”

    Me: *losing patience* “Look, Ms. [name]. We are required to ask these questions on every single call, so when you called us last time, you were most definitely asked all of this. If you want me to send someone to you right now, they’ll never find you because not only will they not know what car to look for, but they’ll be driving around the whole of Texas, since you haven’t told me where you are. Now, if you’ll answer the rest of my questions, I can dispatch someone to your location. Otherwise, I suggest you find a large rock.”

    (After that, she answered every question with no problem, and I found a locksmith who could be there in 15 minutes. The next day, I got an email from another rep saying that the woman had called back in to apologize for how she treated me!)

    The Dumb And The Dubious

    | The Netherlands | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month, Transportation, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a car wash that often sees high-end vehicles such as Ferraris. In fact, we get so much people staring that we’d actually had to change our exit to the road as people always bunched up around the cars making exiting difficult. The exit is very well signed, with big white lines being drawn; not a single accident has happened. However, one day, someone in a very banged-up Volkswagen wants to save time by driving into the exit so he could get to the pump quicker, but drives straight into a brand new Ferrari.)

    Volkswagen Driver: “My car! Look at what you have done to my car!”

    Ferrari Driver: “Pardon me?!”

    Volkswagen Driver: “Look at what you have done to my car with your s*** Lamborghini!”

    Ferrari Driver: “First of all, this is a Ferrari. Secondly, I honestly can’t tell if the big dent in your car was there to begin with or not. Judging by the state of your vehicle, it must have been. But, seeing how you have damaged my vehicle, we are going to have a problem.”

    Volkswagen Driver: “Pssh. Your car isn’t worth half of mine! See the audio equipment in my baby, buddy? 500 Euros!”

    (The Ferrari driver gets on his phone as the Volkswagen driver continues to rant about how that ‘piece of s*** Porsche’ ruined his car. Sure enough, the police arrive and take statements. Once they take the Ferrari owner’s statement and review our security footage, the Volkswagen driver is blamed.)

    Volkswagen Driver: “F*** you, a**holes!” I’m not going to pay for that wreck!”

    Police Officer: “You certainly are, but we’ll discuss that on the station.”

    Volkswagen Driver: “Why?!”

    Police Officer: “Well, to start with, you’ve given us false details. Following that, you caused an accident and refused to settle this correctly whilst clearly being to blame. Following that, we have done a check on your vehicle and it’s uninsured. Also, you don’t have a licence and you’re wanted for two hit and runs.”

    (At that moment the Volkswagen driver starts to run. His mistake is trying to run past the Ferrari driver, who has been calm and collected through the whole ordeal. Without a single second thought, the Ferrari driver takes a swing at the Volkswagen driver; who gets hit in the stomach and collapses for the police officers to arrest him. We learn that the Volkswagen driver was put in jail for four years for various offences, while the Ferrari driver was let off with a warning.)


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