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    Category: Transportation

    No Common Scents, Part 3

    | Wellington, New Zealand | Bizarre, Technology, Transportation

    (I work in the call center, making bookings for vehicle maintenance. I have just booked the customer in for a service.)

    Me: “Is there anything else you would like us to take a look at while your vehicle is with us?”

    Customer: “Yes, last weekend I took a load of rubbish to the dump and the car smelt funny, but the smell was gone after a couple of days. Could you get the guys to take a look?”

    Me: “So, you transported rubbish in your car and that made your car smell, but the smell has now gone, and you would like us to look into that?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “…Not a problem.”

    Related:
    No Common Scents, Part 2
    No Common Scents

    Doesn’t Bavaria With Distances

    | Berlin, Germany | Geography, Hotels & Lodging, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    Guest: “Hi. So, I am going to go to see Neuschwanstein the day after tomorrow; I am meeting a friend there.”

    (Neuschwanstein Castle is 700 km, around 435 miles or at least a six-hour drive from Berlin. I assume he wants to leave Berlin and stay somewhere in Bavaria close to the castle.)

    Me: “Great, they tell me it’s well worth the trip.”

    Guest: “That’s what I heard. So, do you reckon I could be back here in time for the pub crawl?”

    Me: “Um… no, I don’t think so, unfortunately. It’s 700 km from here.”

    Guest: “Yeah. That’s only like 100 miles, right? I got a rental car. And you guys have the Autobahn, after all. I reckon it shouldn’t take me more than an hour one way!”

    The Flight Of His Wife Is The Fright Of His Life

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    (I am closing the ticket counter for the night. Our airline believes very strongly on flights leaving on time, and as such have a strict 30 minute cutoff policy. Anyone arriving at less than 30 minutes to departure will not be allowed to check in. It is 27 minutes to the last flight’s departure, and a man comes running to the counter, where my coworker and her trainee are still at an open computer.)

    Passenger: “I need to check in for this flight!”

    Coworker: “I am really sorry, sir, but unfortunately you are too late to make your flight. I will be glad to rebook you for a flight tomorrow. May I see your ID?”

    Passenger: “What do you mean I’m too late? The flight doesn’t leave until 9 pm!”

    Trainee: “Yes sir, but we have a 30 minute cutoff for check in, and it’s 8:33 pm.”

    Passenger: “It’s only three minutes!”

    Trainee: “Yes sir, but you still have to get through security. We want the other 131 passengers on the plane to leave on time.”

    Coworker: “I’m very sorry, sir, but it is too late. Like I said, I would be glad to book you on a different flight tomorrow.”

    Passenger: “Your airline is stupid! I got your stupid credit card because I thought you would respect loyalty! It’s the last flight of the night and I’m going to be f****** stuck here until tomorrow!”

    (The passenger continues to get increasingly angry and starts yelling obscenities. Everyone around, including the employees of airlines next to us, are staring. He is waving the credit card around.)

    Passenger: “Fine! Rebook me for tomorrow! And give me that stapler!”

    (My coworker hands him the stapler. The passenger uses the stapler to split the credit card in half, then throws the pieces at my coworker.)

    Passenger: “I will never fly your airline again!”

    Coworker: “Sir, I have been trying to help you, but I won’t take this kind of abuse. Now, if you want me to continue, I will need you to stop. Also, I would like to inform you that your flight was actually for tomorrow.”

    Passenger: *suddenly quiet* “Oh. My wife was supposed to call and change that.”

    Coworker: “Well, she didn’t. Do you still want me to rebook you?”

    Passenger: “Never mind. I’ll just call.” *leaves*

    Trainee: “Wow.”

    Doctors Of The Caribbean

    | England, UK | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    (I work at a General Practitioner’s Surgery, and I am taking phone calls from patients.)

    Me: “How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi, can I book a appointment to see one of the doctors this morning?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but there is no available appointments with the doctors today. We offer a triage service; if the triage nurse believes so, they can get you a appointment today, is this okay?”

    (The customer says something, but I cant make it out.)

    Me: “I’m sorry but the line seems to be terrible today; can you repeat what you just said?”

    Customer: “Oh, sorry, that’s because I’m on a boat in the Caribbean.”

    (I’m slightly confused at this point, thinking I misheard her.)

    Me: “Can I just check that you said you were in the Caribbean?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’m on a cruise, but I’m not feeling well, so I want to see [doctor's name] today. Can I have an appointment to see him in the next few hours?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I cant offer you a appointment with the doctor today, due to all routine appointments being taken, and the fact you will not turn up to the appointment here, as you are hundreds of miles away out of the country.”

    Customer: “But I’m not feeling well! I am a registered patient at your surgery, and I want to see the doctor right now!”

    Me: “As I just said, I cant offer you a appointment that you have no way of turning up to.”

    Customer: “THEN MAKE HIM COME TO ME!”

    Me: “The doctors do try their best to help all patients as needed, but I am afraid asking them to fly over to you in the Caribbean at such short notice is not a feasible option. I suggest you seek the help of the medical facility on board the ship.”

    Customer: “Oh… I didn’t think of that. But when I get back, I’m going to come to the surgery and file a complaint.”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 22

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company]; how may I help today?”

    Caller: “YOU PEOPLE SHUT MY CARD OFF!”

    Me: “I can see that would be extremely frustrating. Can I have your account information so we can correct this?”

    (The caller gives me the information, and I see she hasn’t made a payment in four months.)

    Caller: “Turn it back on right now!”

    Me: “I would be happy to once you make a payment to get your account up to date.”

    Caller: “I have to pay?!”

    Me: “Well you haven’t made any payments in four months; may I ask why? Is there something that been preventing you from paying?”

    Caller: “Yeah, something really important.”

    Me: “May I ask what it was?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I was saving up for my vacation to Cancun. That is why I need the card back on. RIGHT NOW!”

    Me: “Just so I have this straight: you didn’t pay your credit card because you wanted to save up for your vacation, and now you want us to let you use your card.”

    Caller: “Yeah, what’s so hard about that?”

    Me: “Sorry, we wont be able to do that for you without having a payment.”

    Caller: “What! I am so canceling my card when I get home!”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 21
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 20
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 19
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 18
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

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