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    Category: Transportation

    Signs You Should Probably Stop Driving

    , | CO, USA | Health & Body, Transportation

    (An elderly customer calls about her policy, which has increased at the most recent renewal due to an accident she’s had pulling out of the drive from her retirement community.)

    Customer: “You know, I’m really a good driver. I just didn’t see the other car. It came from nowhere.”

    Me: I’m sure you wouldn’t have attempted to pull out if you’d seen it.”

    Customer: “Many of my neighbors sold their cars and ride the bus; several routes go right by our complex. I can’t do that, though, because I don’t see so well anymore. I can’t read those signs they have on the buses that say where they are going.”

    Me: “…”

    His Car Needs Some Juice

    | TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

    (I work at a grocery store that has a small gas station located in its parking lot. Every morning whoever opens goes and gets merchandise from inside the main store to stock our shelves, usually the supervisor. I am the mid-shift so I watch the register and help the opener stock when I can. My supervisor and I are outside stocking sodas when I see a man walking towards the mostly empty gas station with an empty juice jug in hand. I think to myself he probably just needs water for his car. I am inside the kiosk selling gas to another customer when the man with the jug approaches the window.)

    Customer: “I need to get some gas.” *starts digging in his pockets*

    Me: “And you want to put it in that?” *motions to jug*

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “I can’t do that, sir. It’s not a proper container. It must read ‘flammable’. We do however sell gas cans for [price].”

    (I try to steer him away from this, as it is dangerous. On top of that gas is high and he’d probably spill more than he got in his vehicle.)

    Customer: “I won’t tell anyone if you don’t.”

    Supervisor: *standing right behind him* “I’m the manager out here.”

    (He took off after that, leaving his juice jug ON TOP of the garbage can.)

    Extreme Jumping To Conclusions

    | The Netherlands | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    (As an airline employee, you are eligible for staff travel. The airline I work for has the rule that you can only travel if there is a seat available at the gate. We are in Spain, and we already know that the flight is pretty full. We also know that the aircraft is a Boeing 747, and on such a short flight (a little over two hours) there is the minimum required crew on board, so there are multiple jump seats (flight attendant seats) empty. The colleagues decide to take us home on a jump seat. We are moved to different jump seats during the flight, because we are in the way in the pantry and in the aisles during the dinner and beverage service. The passengers see us walking through the aisle with our belongings several times.)

    Passenger: “Hey… what is going on? Are they moving you again?”

    Me: *joking* “Yeah, they have just found out they don’t have a seat for us after all, so they are now taking us to the back to give us a parachute…”

    Passenger: *shocked* “Oh, my God! Are you serious? That is terrible!”

    (We sit down in the back pantry and have a good laugh with the colleagues.)

    Me: “Did she think I was serious? If so, she is pretty gullible!”

    (After landing, we see the concerned passenger at baggage reclaim. She comes up to me, all cheerful and happy.)

    Passenger: “Oh, how wonderful! You made it to Amsterdam! They let you stay on board after all!”

    An Oily Customer

    | MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

    (I was a cashier in the service department of a car dealership… nice cars, too. A customer’s oil change and miscellaneous service bill was almost $100.)

    Me: “Good evening, sir. Your total is $***.”

    Customer: “What’s included in this bill? It’s too much!”

    Me: “Sir, you signed the estimate prior to the service being done. Your signature is right here. The service advisor also went over this bill with you afterwards and explained everything that was done. I’m just the cashier. If you have anymore questions I can happily call the advisor to help you.”

    Customer: “Well, why do I have to pay these extra fees? What’s waste disposal? I don’t want to pay for that!”

    Me: “We are required to properly dispose of the oil waste from your service. You agreed to that charge prior to the service as well, sir. The total is still $***.”

    Customer: “Can’t I just have my oil back and I’ll throw it away myself?”

    Me: “Uh, no… No, you can’t.”

    Their Poetry Isn’t Priceless Yet

    | Tallahassee, FL, USA | Language & Words, Transportation

    (I’m a customer in a post office, mailing a submission for a national poetry contest (the name of which is stated on the envelope). The employee helping me has been entering information into the system.)

    Employee: “So. how much is this poetry worth if lost?”

    Me: “Only my heart and soul!”

    Employee: “I’m just gonna go with a hundred dollars…”

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