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    Category: Transportation

    Lost On The Train And In Translation

    | England, UK | Language & Words, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    (I work in the ticket office at a train station. One night a customer with very poor English comes up to me.)

    Customer: “Cawidge.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, where are you headed?”

    Customer: “Cawidge.”

    Me: “Cambridge?”

    Customer: “No, I go Cawidge.”

    Me: “Can you write that for me?” *I hand him a piece of paper and a pen.*

    Customer: *shouts something in a foreign language to someone on the other side of the station, who comes running up.*

    Customer’s Friend: “He go Cawidge.”

    Me: “Yes, can you write that for me please?”

    Customer’s Friend: “Uh… Cawidge. Brummum?”

    Me: “Birmingham?”

    Customer’s Friend: *excitedly* “Yeah, yeah! Brummum! Brummum Cawidge!”

    *it suddenly clicks*

    Me: “Oh, University of Birmingham?”

    Customer: “Yeah, cawidge!”

    Me: “Sure, that’ll be [price]. In future though, don’t ask for the College, ask for University of Birmingham. Okay?”

    Customer: “Yew… nee… verse… Brummum!”

    Me: “… Yeah, that’ll do.”

    Doesn’t Have The Laws Of Physics In The Bag

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    (I am getting in line at security in the airport. In front of me is a middle-aged lady reading the sign stating that the TSA does not allow any bottles of liquid larger than three ounces through security. Underneath the sign is a box of quart-sized plastic bags. She has a plastic bag in one hand and a large drink bottle in the other hand. I watch her look between the plastic bag and the large bottle. She puts the large bottle in the quart sized plastic bag so that over half of it is sticking out and puts the whole thing into her backpack. My travel instincts kick in and quickly walk to get ahead of her in the security line. Sure enough, as I am packing my stuff up outside of security I hear her screaming.)

    Lady: “But it’s in the bag! It should be fine! I put it in the bag.”

    TSA Agent: “Ma’am, it doesn’t work that way!”

    Lady: “I PUT IT IN THE BAG!”

    (Apparently in her mind a quart sized plastic bag makes a 16 ounce drink magically become less than three ounces!)

    Taking Stupidity To New Heights, Part 4

    , | Dublin, Ireland | Crazy Requests, Technology, Transportation

    (A customer calls to book a flight from London to Berlin. The aircraft assigned for that route had recently been changed from a jet-engine to a propeller plane. I am required to inform passengers when booking the flight.)

    Customer: “A propeller plane? But if the engine stops working, the ‘plane will fall from the sky!”

    (I was momentarily silenced as I tried to work out how this wasn’t also true for the jet aircraft. The passenger eventually decided to chance it and booked the flight.)

    Related:
    Taking Stupidity To New Heights, Part 3
    Taking Stupidity To New Heights, Part 2
    Taking Stupidity To New Heights

    Adding Gallons Of Fuel To The Fire

    | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Transportation

    (I work at a gas station that doesn’t require customers to prepay for gas. And yes, the pumps do display the number of gallons a customer pumps.)

    Me: “Hi! Were you on pump two?”

    Customer: “How many gallons did I pump?”

    Me: “I can’t figure that out until you pay. I can print you out a receipt if you would like.”

    Customer: “I just want to know how many gallons I pumped!”

    Me: “I can’t tell you right now, but if you pay the $52.70 I can give you the receipt and it will say the amount you pumped.”

    Customer: “WHY THE H*** CAN’T YOU TELL ME THE GALLONS?!”

    Me: “I can get a calculator and divide the amount you owe by the price of gas, but it would be faster if you paid and I got you a receipt.”

    Customer: *angrily throws money on the counter and walks out*

    Me: *before he even reaches the door I have the receipt printed* “IT WAS FOURTEEN POINT TWO EIGHT GALLONS, SIR!”

    Please Keep Both Hands On The Wheel(chair)

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Health & Body, Top, Transportation

    (I’ve been in a wheelchair for several years and am still pretty independent. Unfortunately there are times the chair can be a real pain. I broke down on the interstate on my daily commute and do not have a cell phone. As a result I am wheeling myself down the I-35 shoulder headed to the closest gas station when a DPS unit pulls up behind me. I was very tired since the shoulder of an interstate is not the easiest surface for me to go long distances. When I see the cop something just reminds me of a routine traffic stop, which I find hilarious.)

    Me: “Don’t bother asking for my license or proof of insurance for my chair, as I have neither.”

    (The cop looked confused for a second, and then burst out laughing.)

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