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    Category: Transportation

    Hopefully It’s Smooth Sailing From Here On

    | Wales, UK | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    (I work at a canoe centre. We occasionally get people complaining about things they don’t like; we have a feedback form for this. A couple walks in, looking angry.)

    Me: “Hi! Did you enjoy your day?”

    Customer #1: “No, it was horrible!”

    Me: “Oh, okay, well if you want to fill in the feedback form about why, that’d be helpful. Can I ask why?”

    Customer #2: “Well, we got wet of course!”

    Me: “But you went canoeing on a river?”

    Customer #1: “Yes, but you should have told us we could get wet!”

    Directionless Call, Part 3

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology, Transportation

    Me: “Hi there, [Company Name], [My Name] speaking; how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need some information about my GPS; can you transfer me?”

    Me: “Well what kind of information are you looking for?”

    Customer: “Oh, can you help me? It’s a little embarrassing.”

    Me: “That’s okay; I’ll do my best.”

    Customer: “Okay, you know when you turn it on and it loads up and there’s a map?”

    Me: “Yeah.”

    Customer: “Well, there’s this little arrow that’s pointing, and I don’t know where it’s pointing to. It’s not pointing north; it’s just all over the place.”

    Me: “Is it pointing the direction you’re facing?”

    Customer: “What? No. I mean it’s just pointing. I’ve looked up tutorials online and everything. No one seems to have this issue.”

    Me: “Is it pointing off the edge of the screen? Have you entered a destination?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Okay, does the arrow spin when you turn around?”

    Customer: “Yes! I don’t understand!”

    Me: “Well then, it’s telling you what direction you’re facing.”

    Customer: “What? I don’t understand.”

    Me: “Let’s see. How can I explain this? If you were at a crossroad—”

    Customer: “No, you don’t understand! I’m in my living room and it’s pointing due east!”

    Me: “Are you facing due east?”

    Customer: “Oh, why yes I am! Thank you so much! You have a nice day now.”

    Related:
    Directionless Call, Part 2
    Directionless Call

    Demanding Understanding

    | MI, USA | Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (I work the front counter of the repair center. The customer coming to get her car is notorious for trying every trick in the book to not pay for repairs. Because she’s such a problem, she always gets a VERY generous discount.)

    Me: “Okay, Mrs. [Name], that will be $150 today for installation and the interior detail.”

    Customer: “I was only supposed to pay for a part. I’m only giving you $50.”

    Me: “Unfortunately, you have to pay for the installation of the part, the taxes, and also your detail. How would you like to pay?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “How would you like to pay? Cash, check, or charge?”

    Customer: “What? What are you saying?!”

    Me: “I’m saying you have to pay me.”

    Customer:“WHAT? I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU’RE SAYING!”

    Me: “Well—”

    Customer: “WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”

    (I scream right back at her.)

    Me: “HOW ARE YOU PAYING YOUR $150!? I HAVE YOUR KEYS AND YOU WILL NOT BE GETTING THEM UNTIL I GET PAYMENT!”

    Customer: “…Do you take Visa?”

    A Better Cliché, A Better Day

    | Prescott, AZ, USA | Awesome Customers, Transportation

    (I am helping a customer adjust his shuttle reservation. I am having a horrible day; I am not feeling well, so my mood isn’t good but I don’t let it affect my inclination to help customers.)

    Me: “Okay, sir, you’re all set.”

    Customer: *happily* “Oh, bless your heart! Peace be with you, and all that s***!”

    Me: *bursts out laughing*

    Customer: “I hope you have a better day, and not just because of me!”

    He Got BUS-ted

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Top, Transportation

    (I’m at the busiest train station in the state, waiting to get out of the station to grab some lunch whilst I wait for my train. I get stuck behind a man whose train ticket will not allow him to exit through the ticket gates.)

    Passenger: “Excuse me, my ticket isn’t working!”

    Employee: “Oh, can I see your ticket, please?”

    Passenger: “I bought this from a news agency. It’s supposed to work on all trains!”

    (The passenger hands the employee a pre-paid bus ticket.)

    Employee: “I’m sorry, sir, but this ticket won’t work here. This is not a train ticket.”

    Passenger: “But I bought it from a newsagent! It has to work!”

    Employee: “I don’t know what else to tell you, mate. This ticket will not work on this service, and you have wasted your money. I can let you through the gate, though, if you’ll just step back to let the gate open.”

    Passenger: “This is RIDICULOUS! This ticket is supposed to work! I used my hard-earned money on it! I spent Australian currency on this! Why isn’t it working?!”

    (There is now a very long line of irate people waiting for the man to just go through the now open gate. The employee is dumbfounded as to why the man won’t just leave. I lose my temper because I’m hungry and my train is to leave shortly, so I step in.)

    Me: “Dude. You bought the wrong ticket. That ticket is a bus ticket. Operative word: BUS. This is a train station.”

    Passenger: “I don’t care! I bought it and therefore it should work!”

    Me: “Yeah, it will work on a bus, but that brings us back to the original predicament: this is a train station, so your ticket will not work, no matter how much you harass people about it.”

    Passenger: “Nobody asked you, you little b****.”

    Me: “No, you’re right; nobody asked me. But I’m f****** hungry, and you are holding up a few dozen people. So please shut up, accept the fact that you screwed up, and get out of the way.”

    Passenger: “You’ve got a mouth on you, don’t you?”

    Me: “I do, and I’d like to fill it with food, so please get the f*** out of my way.”

    (The passenger storms off, and I ask the employee if she can keep the gate open for me as I don’t want my ticket to get rejected on the way back through. She lets me through, and I go to get some food and come back. As I come back to the gate, there is a security guard and another employee standing with the first employee. The security guard approaches me with a notepad.)

    Security Guard: “Excuse me, miss: I just have a question for you. Are you in any way affiliated with [rail company] as a contractor or employee?”

    Me: “No, I’m just trying to get to Woolongong to see a few friends.”

    Security Guard: *closes notepad and smiles* “Thanks for that. That guy you told off? He tried to file an official complaint against you. He wouldn’t believe [Employee] when she said you don’t work here.”

    Employee: “And thanks for that, by the way. Enjoy your trip to the coast!”

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