October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Transportation

Has Their Bobble Head In The Clouds

| AZ, USA | Bizarre, Transportation

(I’ve just finished shopping at a big box retailer in my city. I am heading to my car when I see a middle aged woman wandering around the parking lot pushing a huge cartload of items and looking very dazed and confused. Concerned for her, I make eye contact to get her attention.)

Me: “Ma’am, are you all right?”

Customer: “Oh, yes, I just can’t find my car. I’ve been looking for 20 minutes now! I always park right over here. It should be here!”

(The woman, while shouting some of her phrases, still manages to keep her voice monotone and remains looking very dazed and confused the entire time we speak.)

Me: “Have you tried the alarm?”

Customer: “Oh, no. It’s a 20 year old car. There’s no alarm. I just always park over here. It should be here.”

Me: “Well, what does it look like? Maybe I can spot it.”

Customer: “It’s a white Buick LeSabre. It should be right here. I always park over here.”

(I glance to the car parked right beside mine. It is a white Buick LeSabre.)

Me: “Um, ma’am, is this your car?”

Customer: “No, no. That’s not my car! I would never have so many bobble heads on the dash! My car should be right around here. I always park here.”

Me: “Okay, what rows have you looked on? Maybe you parked a little further over than normal?”

Customer: “No, I always park right around here. My car should be here. I don’t understand where it’s gone.”

(After a few more minutes of me trying to help the woman and her always responding with “No, it should be right around here. I always park here,” I’ve given up. Just as I am about to take my leave, an employee out collecting carts comes over.)

Me: “Good luck finding your car, ma’am.”

Customer: “Thank you. I know it should be here. I always park here.”

(As I leave, I see the employee begin talking with the woman. 30 minutes later, I have to return to the store as I have forgotten something. I park nearby the same spot and notice the woman, her cartload of groceries, the employee, and now a manager are all standing by the Buick LeSabre I was parked next to before.)

Manager: “Why don’t you just give that one a try, ma’am?”

Customer: “No, that’s not my car. I don’t have that many bobble heads. It just has to be around here though. I always park here.”

Manager: “Please, just try it. It’s the only one in the parking lot. Just put your key in and see if it unlocks.”

Customer: “Fine, but it’s not my car. I don’t have that many bobble heads on the dash.”

(The customer puts her key in and, sure enough, the door unlocks.)

Customer: “But I don’t have that many bobble heads on the dash!”

Manager: “Ah, there, we’ve found your car. Have a nice day!”

(The manager motioned to the employee and the two of them practically ran away from the woman before she could say anything else to them. I couldn’t help but laugh as I watched the woman put her groceries into the car and mumble about the bobble heads.)

Lost On The Train And In Translation

| England, UK | Language & Words, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I work in the ticket office at a train station. One night a customer with very poor English comes up to me.)

Customer: “Cawidge.”

Me: “I’m sorry, where are you headed?”

Customer: “Cawidge.”

Me: “Cambridge?”

Customer: “No, I go Cawidge.”

Me: “Can you write that for me?” *I hand him a piece of paper and a pen.*

Customer: *shouts something in a foreign language to someone on the other side of the station, who comes running up.*

Customer’s Friend: “He go Cawidge.”

Me: “Yes, can you write that for me please?”

Customer’s Friend: “Uh… Cawidge. Brummum?”

Me: “Birmingham?”

Customer’s Friend: *excitedly* “Yeah, yeah! Brummum! Brummum Cawidge!”

*it suddenly clicks*

Me: “Oh, University of Birmingham?”

Customer: “Yeah, cawidge!”

Me: “Sure, that’ll be [price]. In future though, don’t ask for the College, ask for University of Birmingham. Okay?”

Customer: “Yew… nee… verse… Brummum!”

Me: “… Yeah, that’ll do.”

Doesn’t Have The Laws Of Physics In The Bag

| Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I am getting in line at security in the airport. In front of me is a middle-aged lady reading the sign stating that the TSA does not allow any bottles of liquid larger than three ounces through security. Underneath the sign is a box of quart-sized plastic bags. She has a plastic bag in one hand and a large drink bottle in the other hand. I watch her look between the plastic bag and the large bottle. She puts the large bottle in the quart sized plastic bag so that over half of it is sticking out and puts the whole thing into her backpack. My travel instincts kick in and quickly walk to get ahead of her in the security line. Sure enough, as I am packing my stuff up outside of security I hear her screaming.)

Lady: “But it’s in the bag! It should be fine! I put it in the bag.”

TSA Agent: “Ma’am, it doesn’t work that way!”


(Apparently in her mind a quart sized plastic bag makes a 16 ounce drink magically become less than three ounces!)

Taking Stupidity To New Heights, Part 4

, | Dublin, Ireland | Crazy Requests, Technology, Transportation

(A customer calls to book a flight from London to Berlin. The aircraft assigned for that route had recently been changed from a jet-engine to a propeller plane. I am required to inform passengers when booking the flight.)

Customer: “A propeller plane? But if the engine stops working, the ‘plane will fall from the sky!”

(I was momentarily silenced as I tried to work out how this wasn’t also true for the jet aircraft. The passenger eventually decided to chance it and booked the flight.)

Taking Stupidity To New Heights, Part 3
Taking Stupidity To New Heights, Part 2
Taking Stupidity To New Heights

Adding Gallons Of Fuel To The Fire

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Transportation

(I work at a gas station that doesn’t require customers to prepay for gas. And yes, the pumps do display the number of gallons a customer pumps.)

Me: “Hi! Were you on pump two?”

Customer: “How many gallons did I pump?”

Me: “I can’t figure that out until you pay. I can print you out a receipt if you would like.”

Customer: “I just want to know how many gallons I pumped!”

Me: “I can’t tell you right now, but if you pay the $52.70 I can give you the receipt and it will say the amount you pumped.”


Me: “I can get a calculator and divide the amount you owe by the price of gas, but it would be faster if you paid and I got you a receipt.”

Customer: *angrily throws money on the counter and walks out*

Me: *before he even reaches the door I have the receipt printed* “IT WAS FOURTEEN POINT TWO EIGHT GALLONS, SIR!”

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