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  • July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

    Category: Transportation

    Total Block-Head

    | Woodbury, MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

    (The store is getting a new parking lot so there are limited spaces.)

    Customer: *runs up to the customer service desk* “The parking lot is a mess!”

    Me: “Yes, I’m aware of that.”

    Customer: “There’s not enough parking spaces for everyone! I was forced to park in the back of the lot.”

    Me: “Yes. I parked seven blocks away from the store.”

    Customer: “Oh…” *slowly walks away*

    It’s A Grey(hound) Area

    , | Calgary, AB, Canada | Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (I was working in the call centre for a well-known bus company named after a type of dog. An ad was running at the time for a companion fare (buy one, get one) and it featured images of the type of dog the company is named after. One afternoon I get a call in regards to the pricing and rules for the fare. After giving this info the caller has one last question:)

    Caller: “So, to use this companion fare, does my companion HAVE to be a dog?”

    They Have It Made

    | ON, Canada | Geography, Health & Body, Transportation

    (I work night shift at a very popular Canadian coffee chain. Four drunk customers walk into the store, barely able to stand. I spot a white limo outside and these customers are dressed like they’ve been out clubbing.)

    Me: “Hey, there. What can I get you ladies?”

    Drunk Customer: “Hey, um, I have a question?”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Drunk Customer: “Um, what city are we in?”

    Me: *stammering* “P-pardon me?”

    Drunk Customer: “Oh, my God. Are you deaf? What CITY are we in?”

    Me: “Erm… you’re in between [City #1] and [City #2].”

    Drunk Customer: *turns back to her friends* “OH, MY GOD, GUYS! WE MADE IT!”

    (It turned out that the ladies had been gambling in Niagara Falls, about three hours away. After asking for the address of the place and reassuring me that they lived in City #1 and they were headed home (they thought), they left without asking for anything and I was left to wonder exactly how intoxicated one had to be to be that lost and that un-phased by it.)

    Crime Can Be A Vicious Cycle

    | London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Transportation

    (A couple of weeks ago the bicycle that I had owned since I was eight years old was stolen, right outside my shop. I was at work at the time and the CCTV we have can’t pin the culprit as he was in a blind spot. The police have been as unsuccessful as well. As my only method of transport, I have to go by foot which takes 40 minutes. I’m behind the counter one day, when…)

    Customer: “Excuse me, can I park my bicycle in here? Some guy got his stolen the other week so I don’t want to take any chances.”

    Me: “Sure, just park it up by the counter and I’ll—”

    (Before I can finish, the customer brings the cycle — MY CYCLE — in and rests it against the counter.)

    Me: “—k-keep an eye on it for you.”

    (The second the customer turns around the corner, I’m on the phone to my manager to ring the police. When he comes out of the office he notices the cycle and is just as baffled as me.)

    Manager: “What’s going on here?”

    Me: “A gentlemen just came in with this. He’s gone into the produce aisle but I’m certain that he’s the thief.”

    Manager: “Right. You stay here. I’ll speak to him.”

    (Without another word, my now-furious manager had rounded the corner and gone to have a word with the gentlemen in question. Not a second later I could hear swearing at the top of the gentlemen’s lungs as he came running down the same aisle and reached for my bike. My instinct kicked in and I held on to the back wheel as much as I could as he shouted for me to ‘f*****g let go’. He gave up sooner than anticipated as my manager charged at him, so he sprinted for the door. However, the police were waiting outside for him, and in a flurry of swearwords the crook was brought to the ground and arrested there and then. How did I know it was my bicycle? The dingus had forgotten to remove my water bottle which was attached to the frame and had my name on it! I guess crime doesn’t pay!)

    When You Know It’s Time To Re-Tire

    | Boston, MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Transportation

    (My car has suddenly died with no warning, and I manage to get it pulled to the side of the road before I lose momentum. I call AAA to request a tow, and, since it’s absolutely pouring and I’m on a street running through a park (no houses or shops), I sit in my car while I wait – for over an hour and a half. When the driver shows up, it’s the same guy who always comes to haul my car away when it misbehaves (now four times in three years), so we joke with each other a bit.)

    Driver: “Man, if I’d known it was you sitting here waiting I would’ve told the last lady she could suck it!”

    Me: *surprised* “Why? What was wrong with her car?”

    Driver: “She called it in as multiple flat tires, and when I got there, you know what it was?”

    Me: “No…?”

    Driver: “They were just really bald and she was afraid to drive it in this rain! She had me tow her home!”

    Me: “Let me guess. Luxury car.”

    Driver: “Got it in one.”

    (So, lady who wasted that guy’s time and made me even later for work, may you have an actual problem someday and have to wait – and wait – and WAIT!)

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