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    Category: Transportation

    Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 5

    | MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

    (I work at a very popular car wash. On a busy day, we can reach a volume of over a thousand customers. We only have five vacuums, which are free during business hours, and $1.00 after close. Due to wet paint, we close one vacuum, which includes shutting the power to that individual vacuum off completely, posting signs on the vacuum AND on the trash can which we placed in front of it, and taping it off. Despite this, a customer attempts to use it anyway. It won’t turn on, so she walks up to the building.)

    Customer: “May I have change for a dollar?”

    Me: *knowing why she’s asking* “Of course, but are you needing change for a vacuum?”

    Customer: *points to the one that’s closed* “Yes! That vacuum won’t turn on!”

    Me: “That’s because it’s been shut off.”

    Customer: “But I need to vacuum out my car. I already parked there and got out and walked all the way over here!”

    Me: “There are signs that say it’s out of order.”

    Customer: “I didn’t see them!”

    Me: “You didn’t see that it’s been cordoned off, the trash can in front of it to prevent people from parking there, or the signs that state ‘Out of Order’?”

    Customer: “You know what?! I’ll go somewhere else!”

    Me: “Have a nice day!”

    Related:
    Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 4
    Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 3
    Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 2

    This Bus Is Going Dune Town

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Books & Reading, Geeks Rule, Transportation

    (I am on my way home from a video game convention. I am dressed up like Link from Legend of Zelda. It’s about 11:30 at night.)

    Bus Driver: “That woman is a ‘Bene Gesserit’ witch. You’ve read Dune, right?”

    Passenger #1: “No.”

    Me: “I am the ‘Kwisatz Haderach!’”

    Passenger #2: “Who said that?”

    Me: “I did. Link said that.”

    Passenger #2: *pause* “That’s fair.”

    Nothing Worth Mentioning

    | Whitehorse, YT, Canada | Money, Transportation

    (A man brings his minivan in to our shop for a suspected power steering leak. He is not sure exactly what’s leaking, but he saw a lot of red fluid underneath his car. After the mechanic finds the leak I call the customer.)

    Me: “We found that one of the hoses was starting to crack at a bend. The dealer is the only one that has this part available in town. The part is $185, the labour for replacing the hose is rated at an hour which is $110, the diagnosis time is $49, taxes etc. will bring the total repair to $368.00.”

    Customer: “I understand the part and the labour costs, but I don’t necessarily see the need for a diagnosis. Couldn’t you have found out what was leaking without diagnosing it? That’s $50 for nothing, really.”

    Me: “Well… we could replace all the power steering parts for about $2500, or we could find out exactly what is leaking and just fix that. What would you prefer?”

    (He opted for the $368.00 repair that included a ‘$50 for nothing, really’ diagnosis.)

    Towering Ignorance

    | NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Transportation

    (I work in tech support for cell phones. A coworker is having a conversation with a customer whose phone isn’t working.)

    Agent: “Okay! Have you tried checking out the settings on your phone? You may have turned those services off.”

    Customer: “No, I didn’t. Definitely didn’t do that.”

    Agent: “Hmm, I see! Well, you could always give our customer service department a quick call to see if something is up! How’s that sound?”

    Customer: “I’m at my cousin’s house and the elevation is very high so I made sure to turn ‘airplane mode’ on. It’s pissing me off that this isn’t working.”

    Agent: “Oh! Airplane mode is actually going to disable your phone from using those features. Take that off for me, please, and try again.”

    Customer: “Wow! Do you think I’m going to be fooled like that? You’re lying. How do people talk to each other on airplanes? DUH! Sucks when I know more than an employee…”

    Agent: “I’m not entirely sure what you mean. Could you elaborate, please? ”

    Customer: “Uhm, wow. I can’t believe I’m doing this: Airplane mode is for when you need to call someone while up high in the air to connect to satellites and stuff rather than towers. How do you think pilots and astronauts contact ground control? You’re a complete idiot. Goodbye.”

    Driving Himself Into A Ditch

    | USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Money, Transportation

    (I’m at court filing documents for a client when I overhear a judge’s assistant speaking with a man waiting in the lobby behind me.)

    JA: “I’m sorry, sir, but the judge isn’t willing to do anything about the towing costs.”

    Defendant: “What?”

    JA: “You’re going to have to pay these yourself.”

    Defendant: “But… no! He can’t do that!”

    JA: “Sir, there’s nothing he can do. He’s already waived all your court costs. The tow is your responsibility.”

    Defendant: “But what about me going to jail over not paying these?!”

    JA: “You have four outstanding warrants in three states! You were driving on a suspended license! You should have been arrested on the spot!”

    Defendant: “But he has to make these go away or I’ll go to jail!”

    JA: “Sir, you should BE in jail. We did not make you drive on a suspended license. I called the DMV and you’re even flagged in THEIR system! At some point you have to take responsibility for your actions. I really don’t know how you’re not in jail right now.”

    Defendant: “FINE! But I’m still owed a bond by you people!”

    JA: “Okay. I can get that to you, but that person is out today. Will you be in town tomorrow to pick it up or would you like me to mail it?”

    Defendant: “Nah, I’ll just drive here.”

    JA: “… You’ll… drive here? Yourself?”

    Defendant: “Yeah, that’s what I said.”

    JA: “Sir, could you please take a seat? I’m going to need to grab somebody to come talk to you.”

    Defendant: “Finally!”

    (The clerk and I, who had been listening in disbelief the entire time, watch as the JA walked over to the bailiff and explained the situation. I left when the handcuffs came out.)

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