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    Category: Transportation

    Needs To Pour Oil Over Troubled Water

    | LA, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Technology, Transportation

    Customer: “I need to know where the motor oil is.”

    (I tell her, but she comes back to the counter with a bottle of transmission fluid.)

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s not oil. It’s transmission fluid.”

    Customer: “What do you know about it? You’re a girl. Just ring me up.”

    (I ring her up. She pays and goes outside, pops the hood of her car, and gets on the phone. Two minutes later, she’s back.)

    Customer: “I needed oil. You sold me the wrong thing. I need to exchange this.”

    Me: “Okay. Do you need some help? It’s slow. I can do this for you.”

    Customer: “What, do you think you know about cars? I’m on the phone with my husband and he knows more about it than you do. Just do the d*** exchange so I can get some oil.”

    (I do the exchange. She comes back up with oil.)

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s 50 weight. You don’t want that, you want 40 weight.”

    Customer: “This is what my husband said to get.”

    Me: “Oookay. Are you sure you wouldn’t like me to help?”

    Customer: “No. You’re a girl and you don’t know what you’re talking about. My husband works for [Company] and he knows way more about it than some clerk!”

    Me: “Well, maybe he does, Ma’am, but he’s not here.”

    Customer: “Just ring me up.”

    Me: “Okay, if you’re sure you don’t need help.”

    Customer: “I don’t need your help.”

    Me: “Yes, Ma’am. You have a nice day, now.”

    Customer: “Whatever.”

    (I watch through the front window as she went back to her SUV and smugly poured her oil… into her radiator. I wonder what her husband said when her engine blew up halfway across the causeway.)

    A Significant Flight Risk

    | Honolulu, HI, USA | At The Checkout, Love/Romance, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (I work in a very touristy part of town and we have a lot of flight attendants who stop through the store. I see a guy and help him at the computer. This guy is close to 60.)

    Me: “So you just click here and it should be good.”

    Customer: “Oh, thank you. Say, where are you from?”

    Me: “The Philippines.”

    Customer: “Oh, my friend met his wife there. He basically waited outside of the college she was attending everyday and finally convinced him to go out with her. She eventually said yes. I’ve been there a few times since I’m a flight attendant. Beautiful women you know.”

    Me: “That’s nice. I’m gonna go help out some other people. Ask me if you have other questions.”

    (I loop around a couple more times around the store answering questions. He flags me down.)

    Customer: “Marry me and you’ll fly for free.”

    Me: “Ha ha. That’s the same line my friend’s dad used 30 years ago on his wife.”

    Customer: “Well, it’s a good line.”

    Me: “I think I’ll pass, but thank you anyway.”

    (I loop around the store again, and start demonstrating a product features. I see him lingering in the back waiting for me to finish.)

    Customer: “Thank you for helping me out tonight. You’re really sweet. Here’s my card.”

    Me: “Uh. Thanks.”

    (The card said, “You’re really charming and here’s my number. Let’s meet for drinks after work.” I never called, but he came back a few weeks later asking for help with his phone from my coworker. His phone background was a picture of some woman’s breasts. Gross.)

    You’re Through To The Fee Line

    | Scottsdale, AZ, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    (I do quality assurance for a travel agency. My job is to monitor the calls to make sure that the agents are being honest with the members. One day, I’m listening to a member asking questions about booking a cruise. Most of them are pretty standard, and then I hear this:)

    Agent: “Now that I have your cruise all booked for you, do you have any other questions for me?”

    Member: “Just one, and it’s very important. Does my cat need a passport?”

    Agent: “Ummm…”

    Rust Or Bust

    | IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Transportation

    (I work in a car dealership on the service drive. A customer pulls her car onto the drive, gets out, and walks up to my desk. I can see from the scowl on her face she is clearly angry.)

    Customer: “I JUST bought this new car last week and it is already rusting! I demand you give me a new car!”

    Me: “Okay, can you show me where the rust is?”

    (We walk to her car.)

    Customer: “See, right there on the door! THAT IS RUST!”

    Me: “Ma’am, that is just a little mud. Let me get a clean towel and I’ll get that right off for you.”

    Customer: “No, you are lying! You’re just going to paint it over! I know rust when I see it! I’m not stupid!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I assure you it is not rust, and I will not put paint on it.”

    Customer: “Don’t you touch it! I demand to see the manager!”

    Me: “Sure. I’ll be right back.”

    (I come back with my manager after I explained the situation to him.)

    Customer: “See that… THAT RIGHT THERE! THAT’S RUST! I DEMAND YOU GIVE ME A NEW CAR! IT’S ONLY A WEEK OLD!”

    (My manager grabs a rag and puts it in his back pocket before walking out to speak to the customer. Without saying a word, he takes the rag out, leans down and wipes the mud off before the customer can say anything. The customer immediately gets down on her hands and knees to examine where the mud had been.)

    Manager: “There you go, ma’am. It was just a little spot of mud.”

    (The customer snatches the rag out of my manager’s hand.)

    Customer: “Let me see that! You just put paint over it!”

    (The customer examines the obviously clean and paint-free rag, then tosses it on the floor.)

    Customer: “You people need to make sure a car is clean before you deliver it to a customer! I am letting you people know you won’t get away with anything!”

    (The customer comes in regularly, and has complained similarly about MANY things on her car since, demanding a new car every time.)   

    Needs To Board A School Bus

    | BC, Canada | Funny Names, Transportation

    (I work at a bus depot which has trips running daily to Alberta. I’m not new to the job, and know pretty much all the common destinations.)

    Customer: “My daughter needs a ticket to Dukin.”

    Me: “Dukin? I’ve never heard of it. Where is it?”

    Customer: “In Alberta! I know there’s a bus going to Dukin tonight! She took this trip last month. I know you guys go there, you know, Doo – kin. Dukin!”

    Me: “It’s not in the computer. How do you spell it?”

    Customer: “L – E – D… something…”

    Me: “Leduc?”

    Customer: “Yeah! That’s what I said: Dukin!”

    (She buys tickets regularly now, and calls the city Dukin to this day.!)

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