Category: Transportation

He Keeps Coming Back And Back And Back To The Future

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV, Transportation

Caller: “Yeah, hi, I have a 1995 Olds Cutlass. I was wondering if you could tell me the price and availability on a new flux capacitor?”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, did you say “flux capacitor”?”

Caller: “Yes, that’s right, for a ’95 Olds Cutlass.”

(If you don’t already know, the flux capacitor is a made up ‘part’ from the ‘Back to the Future’ movies, the component that “makes time travel possible”)

Me: *obviously thinking I’m being messed with* “Haha, seriously, what can I do for you?”

Caller: “I said I need a flux capacitor. My car is running like crap. My buddy is a mechanic and told me I needed a new one.”

(We get a lot more prank calls in auto parts stores than most people realize. Very rarely do we get something original; it’s always the same thing, and to make matters worse, these people are very dedicated to trying to make us look or feel stupid.)

Me: *at this point I can tell this guy is determined to break me* “I’m sorry sir, but your friend is obviously mistaken, as the flux capacitor does not exist. It was made up for a movie, so unless your car is an ’85 Delorean, capable of time travel, you do not need a flux capacitor.”

Caller: “Listen, my buddy has been working on cars his entire life, and if he says that’s what I need, then that’s what I need. I’ve told you twice my car is a ’95 Cutlass.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it sounds like your friend is trying to pull one over on you, as I’ve already explained, the part you are looking for does not exist. You may want to call him and ask what is really wrong with your car, or take it to a reliable mechanic that can properly diagnose your problem.”

Caller: “Oh, I’m gonna call him, and you’re not gonna be happy when I have HIM call you to get this part!” *click*

(About 20 minutes later, one of my coworkers answers the phone, I hear him say, “Yeah he’s here; I’ll get him for you,” and hands me the phone.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I called you earlier about the ’95 Olds Cutlass. Well, I talked to my buddy again. He said he’s been doing this stuff longer than you’ve been alive and that if you know what’s good for you, you will stop wasting my time and his and look me up a d*** flux capacitor!”

Me: “You know what? You’re right. After our last conversation, I jumped into my Delorean, went back and got the cataloging department to fix there mistake and put it in the computer. Now when I look it shows that I have on in stock for $299.99!”

Caller: “Funny how your story has changed after I called my buddy again. But that price is outrageous; I can get it cheaper down the street.” *click*

(Two hours go by without hearing from him again, until he walks in the store.)

Customer: “Are you the guy I talked to about the flux capacitor for my ’95 Cutlass?”

Me: “Yep, that was me.”

Customer: “Well apparently, you’re the only place in town that has one, so I’ll be needing that now.”

Me: *blink*

Customer: “Well, are you gonna get it or not?”

Me: “You’re obviously very dedicated to this joke, but if you wouldn’t mind I really have a lot to do today and don’t have the time to stand here humoring you on this.”

Customer: “What the h*** are you talking about? Give me my d*** part and I’ll be on my way; you’re the one wasting MY time!”

Me: “Sir, as I explained to you over the phone, the flux capacitor was a made up part, for a series of time travel movies. This is the component of the time machine that makes time travel possible. It does not exist in the real world; it is not a part on your car or any other car. One of two things is happening here: either you have nothing better to do with your time other than making my day difficult by insisting on continuing on with this less than original prank, or your buddy is messing with you, wasting your time and mine, and trying to make you look like a fool. If that’s the case, I can’t help you other than suggesting you find a new friend.”

Customer: *becoming enraged* “I f***ing called you and you told me you had it in stock. Now you’re gonna stand there and tell me that not only do you not have one, but you’re going to try telling me that it doesn’t exist and accuse my friend of lying to me?! I’m calling your company to file a complaint! You haven’t heard the last from me! I’ll be back with my buddy and you’ll be sorry!”

(10 minutes later…)

Customer: *walks back in the store* “Listen I talked to him again, and he says if you don’t sell me my flux capacitor, he’s going to come down here and physically make you get it off the shelf. He wasn’t too happy when I told him what you said about him!”

(At this point I finally realize that he is not messing around; his friend did in fact tell him that he needed a flux capacitor, and he truly believed it.)

Me: *handing him my cell phone with a Back to the Future Wikipedia page loaded up* “Sir, before we continue this conversation, could I please ask you to read this?”

Customer: *reads a few minutes, then hands me my phone* “I have to make a phone call…

(He walks out of the store and pulls out his cell phone. At this point all four of the people I’m working with come out of their hiding places laughing in astonishment of what’s going on unable to believe how well I’m keeping my composure. We watch him outside pacing and yelling into his phone for about five minutes, before he re-enters the store.)

Customer: “Yeah… can I please have an ignition module for a ’95 Olds Cutlass?”

The Death Of That Sale

| Germany | Crazy Requests, Transportation

(I work for a business that usually caters to B2B transportation. I’m responsible for the sender side of the transport and look after a lot of hair product and cosmetics manufacturers. The customers that make and sell hair products are especially obnoxious usually.)

Me: *picking up phone* “This is [Business]. [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was wondering when this parcel will arrive.” *gives transportation number*

Me: “All right… Oh, it looks like the truck has been stopped due to a traffic accident. I’m not sure if we’ll be able to deliver this today.”

Customer: “What do you mean, you’re not sure? It’s very important that this arrives today.”

Me: “Let me call the depot and ask. I’ll call you back in a moment.”

(Speaking to my colleagues, I find out the truck has been the one actually involved in the accident, not just unable to get around the accident site. I call back the customer.)

Me: “I’m sorry; we really won’t be able to deliver this today. All other trucks—”

Customer: *interrupting* “No. This has to arrive today. It’s very important shampoo! Our customer needs it TODAY.”

Me: “The truck has been stopped because it was in an accident. There’s no other truck that can pick up the goods, because it’s almost four pm and every other truck is busy. Also, the police have confiscated the goods as well as the truck.”

Customer: “TODAY! I don’t see the problem! The driver can just get another truck, unload the parcels, get off his lazy a**, and continue!”

Me: “…The driver died in that accident.”

Customer: “So, get another one! It’s important shampoo!”

(I ended the call as politely as possible, telling her to best send out the goods again so they will arrive the next day for sure. She kept ranting until I hung up. Unfortunately, this happens way too often–usually in less extreme situations, fortunately.)

Getting The Hobbit Price

| Canada | Money, Transportation

(I drive a public bus for a company that covers a large geographic area and several different modes of transportation. Because of that, we have multiple zones costing different fares depending on how far you are traveling, with the lowest adult fare being $2.75.)

Passenger: “How much is it?”

Me: “Where are you going to today?”

Passenger: *confused* “…There and back?”

Me: “…$2.75 sir.”

35 Cents Too Rich For That Wallet

| TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Transportation

(I work at the student mail center on a university campus, and we constantly have 18-year-old freshmen come in who have never mailed a letter in their lives, and have no idea how it works.)

Customer: “Hi! So, I’ve never done this before, but I have to mail a thing.”

Me: “Okay. What is it you have to mail?”

Customer: “Just a thing. How much is it?”

Me: “Well, I have to see what you’re mailing. Do you have it with you?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Go ahead and take it out for me.”

Customer: *takes a wallet out of her backpack* “Just this.” *puts it back in her backpack*

Me: “Okay, well I need you to take it back out so I can weigh it. Does this have to get anywhere fast?”

Customer: *has not taken the wallet back out yet* “I don’t know. How long does it take?”

Me: “Depends on where it’s going.”

Customer: “I’m sending it to my brother.”

Me: “Okay, where?”

Customer: “To my brother’s house, duh.”

Me: “Yes, but where is your brother’s house?”

Customer: “Oh, in [Town about an hour from here].”

Me: “Okay, then in that case, if you put it in this envelope, it’ll get there in about three days. Is that okay?”

Customer: “Sure, whatever.”

Me: “So just write your address here, and your brother’s address in the middle, and when you’re done, it’ll be about $3 all together.”

Customer: “…Why?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “My friend said it would only cost like thirty-five cents to mail something.”

Me: “Um, that’s not really how it works. It’s based on weight and—”

Customer: “But my friend said it would only be like thirty-five cents!”

Me: “Look, even if all you were mailing was a postcard, that would be thirty-seven cents. If you were mailing a single sheet of paper, it would be forty-nine cents. But you’re mailing a wallet. Even at the cheapest shipping, you’d be looking at about two and a half dollars for postage, and fifty cents for the envelope.”

Customer: *rolls her eyes* “Whatever. I have to ask my mom if I’m allowed to spend more than thirty-five cents on this.”

(Then she walked off and we never saw her again.)

Some Decent Train-ing

| The Netherlands | Awesome Workers, Transportation

(I’m tired and it’s really late. I take the train home, only to hear that there’s a problem on my normal route and I’ll have take a different one. At this point I’m not in the best of moods, only made worse when I have to switch trains at a station I’m unfamiliar with and have trouble finding out where to go. The end result is that I rush down the stairs to the correct platform, just as the train has closed its doors and starts to leave. Due to the station layout I’m standing at the front of the train and can see the driver. To my utter surprise he seems to spot me as well, hits the brakes, and throws open the door to his cab.)

Driver: “You need to go to [Station]?”

Me: “Umm, yes. Yes, I do!”

Driver: “All right! Quickly, then! Come right this way!”

(He then allowed me to step into the cab and move to the body of the train from there. He saved me from having to wait in the cold, late at night, and seriously made my entire day. I gleefully tell people about the day someone stopped a train for me. I never did dare to send some sort of praise towards the train company, as I fear what he did was not officially allowed, but train driver, if you’re out there, thank you so much!)

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