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    Category: Transportation

    He Might Need A Smart Car

    | Buffalo, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

    (A customer is waiting in line while I take care of renting a car for another customer. It takes about five minutes, and just as I am finishing up with him, the guy in line throws up his hands in frustration.)

    Customer: “Ugh, this is taking forever! This isn’t that difficult, sweetheart!”

    Me: “Be right with you. I’m almost done.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m a premium member. I’m supposed to pick out my car and not even deal with you. Why the hell do I have to wait here?”

    Me: “Oh, the premium members just go downstairs to pick out a car. You actually don’t have to wait for me.”

    Customer: “It’d be nice if you had a f****** sign! Way to waste my time!”

    Me: “Sir, you’re standing right next to a giant sign that says what I just told you.”

    (Customer looks to his right, where there is indeed a giant, standing sign at eye level.)

    Customer: “Oh, bet you think you’re so smart.” *stomps off*

    Me: “That’s not exactly what I was thinking…”

    Shuttling Away The Bad Customers

    | WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

    (When my brother comes to visit, the airline company loses his bag temporarily, and promises to call us when it comes in. A day later it arrives, so my brother and I drive down to the airport to pick it up. I wait in my idling van while my brother runs in to grab his bag. After a few minutes, I hear someone open the trunk and glance in the rearview mirror, only to see a woman I don’t recognize loading her bags into my trunk. I turn off the car and get out.)

    Me: “Um, ma’am, I think you have the wrong…”

    Woman: “I need to get to the [Hotel] and fast. I have a business lunch to attend, and need to sign in and freshen up.”

    Me: “Well, I’m not a driver, and I’m just waiting for my brother. Maybe you should—”

    Woman: “WELL, he is just going to just have to wait, isn’t he? I am a paying customer, and I expect you to do your job and take me where I need to go.”

    (At this point I realize that she thinks I am a shuttle driver, which is ridiculous as all of the hotel shuttles have the hotel logo plastered on the side of their shuttles. As it is obvious that she isn’t going to listen, I decide to take a different approach.)

    Me: “Well, okay, but given that you didn’t schedule ahead, I have my rush-service fee, plus a roaming service fee as the [Hotel] is outside of my usual area, plus gas and lost business fees, so that will be $300 dollars up front.”

    Woman: “What? No, you have to take me for free!”

    Me: “No, that is the hotel shuttle, which would have to word [Hotel] on the side. I am a for-profit shuttle only, and if you want me to take you now, it will cost $300.”

    Woman: “Well, I’m going to report you!”

    (She then proceeds to pull her bag out of my trunk and storm off. My brother, who arrived towards the end of the debate, grins before stepping forward and putting his own bag in the trunk.)

    Brother: “I don’t have $300, but do you accept IOUs?”

    Me: “I’ll give you the family discount. You have to cook tonight.”

    Brother: “Deal!”

    Wheely Should Have Listened

    | WA, USA | Transportation

    (I’m the customer, waiting for my truck to be repaired. This is a very honest shop and they do great work, too. Another customer has an appointment to get new tires. When they were putting new tires on they notice his right front wheel bearing was almost totally gone.)

    Shop Manager: *to customer* “You must get this replaced right away. If you brake hard or turn hard, the front wheel could snap off!”

    Customer: *dismissive and rude* “Bah, you just want me to spend more money. You folks are all alike. Just give me my d*** keys.”

    (He gets into his car and peels out, burning rubber. He takes a right out of the parking lot and we hear a loud BANG. We see his right front tire rolling forwards and that he has slammed into a light pole.)

    Shop Manager: “Hope he had a nice day.”

    Won’t Go Down For Downtown

    | MI, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Transportation

    (We occasionally get calls from hotels to arrange transportation for their guests. This happened on a Sunday evening.)

    Hotel Clerk: “Hi, I was wondering if you could take a guest of mine? He wants… Where do you want to go, sir?”

    (I can hear the guest in the background, very loud and rude.)

    Hotel Clerk: “He wants to go downtown. How much is that?”

    Me: “With us, that’s $30, one way. I can speak with him, if you’d like.”

    (The clerk proceeds to hand the phone over. The customer is audibly drunk.)

    Customer: “How much is it to go downtown?”

    Me: “It’s $30 with our service, sir.”

    Customer: “No, no, no, no, no. No. I’ll give you $20.”

    Me: “Our prices are firm, sir. We are a luxury service.”

    Customer: “Well, aren’t you just precious. You’re so sweet; I’m going to give you $20 for it and that’s all.”

    Me: “No. We will not go below $30 for this trip, sir.”

    Customer: “Who do you think you are? I can call up any cab service for less, but I’m offering to give you $20 for this.”

    (At this point, the clerk grabs the phone away from his guest.)

    Hotel Clerk: *clearly desperate* “So can you take him?!”

    Me: “He’s drunk, isn’t he?”

    Hotel Clerk: “Yes.”

    Me: “I’m sorry you have to put up with him, but he’s not getting in one of my vehicles. Here’s the number to a cab service. They’re going to be cheaper and they might actually put up with him. Best of luck. He cannot be easy to have right in front of you.”

    Hotel Clerk: *defeated* “Okay. Thanks.”

    700 Reasons To Get Grounded

    | Fort Worth, TX, USA | Family & Kids, Money, Transportation

    (I’m a manager at a fairly large automotive repair. I am in my office the day after Christmas, and I hear an angry customer yelling at one of my workers. I came out and take over.)

    Me: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

    Customer: “I just had my car here to get a brake job done at this shop. When I got my car back nothing had been done.”

    Me: “Okay, sir, let me pull up your information so I can see what all was done. I’m sorry for the inconvenience, and I’ll do my best to solve this for you.”

    Customer: “She already tried to pull up my information. She said I’m not in the system, but I know I’m in there.”

    (I get him to give me his information, have him look at the screen to make sure it was all correct. Sure enough he isn’t in the system.)

    Customer: “No! I know my car is in your system. My son brought it in to get worked on.”

    (I get the information for his son, and still no car in the system.)

    Me: “Sorry, sir, but we have no record of any work being done on your vehicle.”

    Customer: “That’s BS! My son brought in my car just yesterday to get the work done. It cost me $700!”

    Me: “Sir, we were closed yesterday for Christmas. No one was here. There is no way we could have done the work on your car.”

    Customer: “Then why did I have to give my son $700 for the wor…”

    (All I could do was shrug as I watched him piece things together and realize that his son had probably spent $700 on something else.)

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