Category: Transportation

Wish You Could Wash Your Hands Of This Customer

| Finland | Extra Stupid, Technology, Transportation

(It’s late in the evening. It’s quite busy, so we have both registers open. A middle-aged lady is next in my line.)

Customer #1: “I’d like to wash my car.”

Me: “What kind of wash would you need today?”

Customer #1: “I don’t know… What would you recommend?”

(I recommend her the basic carwash with wax, and she pays for it. I hand her the receipt with a code you need to enter in order to get into the carwash.)

Customer #1: “So, who is going to take my car to the carwash? I’ve never done it; my husband has always done it for me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but at this moment there is no-one to take your car. You need to do it yourself.”

Customer #1: “But I’ve never done it before! What do I have to do?! Why can’t you do it?”

(There is a line for my register, and even a longer one for my coworker.)

Me: “I’m really sorry but there is no-one who could do it at the moment. But it’s not hard at all! You just drive to the other side of the building. There are two washing units. Just choose which ever you like. Before you drive inside, you need to turn your side mirrors and take the radio antenna off. Then just enter this code right here on the keypad, drive in, stop when the light is red and just wait until the wash is over.”

Customer #1: “But… but… Is there really no-one to do this? Oh, this is all so hard! My husband has always done this!”

Me: *giving up* “How about this? You drive to the other side of the building and I’ll come over there and show you how it’s done? I’ll just serve these customers quickly.”

Customer #1: “Oh, yes, please!”

(She leaves. I serve the other customers waiting in the line. The man who was right after the lady shouts to me from the door:)

Customer #2: “Oh, boy! The lady who you just served? She’s trying to get into the carwash from the wrong side of the building!”

(I go outside, and there she is, looking really confused.)

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but you need to drive to the other side of the building. Just let me first take care of those mirrors and the antenna.”

(The customer is looking even more confused as I hand her the antenna. She drives to the other side of the building and parks in front of the washing unit.)

Me: “Okay. So, could you please hand me the receipt with the code? You just enter this code on the keypad. Then you drive inside—”

Customer #1: *cuts me off* “How do I know when to stop? Oh, this is so hard!”

Me: “You stop when the light over there turns red. Then you stop your engine, put on the handbrake, and just wait. When the wash is over, the other door will open. When the light turns back to green, you can drive out. Remember to turn your mirrors back to normal position when you are done.”

Customer #1: “Oh, thank you! I’ve never done this! I hope I do everything right!”

(I watch as the customer drives in and make sure the wash starts correctly. I return to the register. About ten minutes passes, long enough for the wash to end.)

Customer #1: “Oh, I don’t know what happened to my car! I came out of the wash and now all the turn signals on my car are flashing! What did the wash do to my car!”

Me: “You must have pressed the button for emergency signal by accident. Just press the button again and it’ll be fine.”

Customer #1: “NO! I have not pressed anything! It’s the wash! It did something to my car!”

Me: “Let me come and take a look.”

(We go outside, and to no surprise, she has pressed the button. I press it again and the flashing stops.)

Customer #1: “I don’t understand! Why did it do like that?! I have not pressed any buttons!”

Me: “I don’t know. Strange. Well, it’s fixed now. Have a nice evening!”

(I went back inside and told my coworker what just happened. She was just as confused as I was.)

A Far From Tireless Exercise

| Whitehorse, YK, Canada | Crazy Requests, Transportation

(A man comes up to the service counter and wants a quote on some tires.)

Customer: “I was wondering if you could tell me if you have any sales on all-season tires for my car?”

Me: ‘We always have tires on sale; do you know what size of tire you are looking for?” *I grab a piece of paper so I can write down the size*

Customer: “Yeah, they are either 215 or 205, uh… 65 or 60… or could be 70, and either 16 or 15 inch.”

Me: “Wow… that’s gonna take me quite a while to look up.”

Customer: “Why’s that?”

Me: ‘Well, you gave me 12 different tire sizes.”

A Well-Trained Conductor

| Liverpool, England, UK | Awesome Workers, Criminal/Illegal, Transportation

(I am a passenger travelling on the train when the conductor comes down to check tickets. A passenger in front of me purchases a ticket to the next stop. The train carries on and finally arrives at the next stop of the journey and the conductor notices the passenger is still on board with no intention of moving so approaches the passenger.)

Conductor: “This is your stop.”

Passenger: “No, it’s not.”

Conductor: “You asked for a ticket to the next stop. This is it.”

Passenger: “Well I meant [station several stops away].”

Conductor: “Okay, that’ll be [price].”

Passenger: “Nah, mate.”

Conductor: “You either buy a ticket or get off the train.”

Passenger: “You think I’m soft? I travel this train all the time and never buy a ticket.”

Conductor: “Well, with that information you can either get off this train now or wait here for the police to show up, delaying all of these other passengers.”

(The passenger refuses and the back and forth goes on for a while with customers getting agitated at the passenger. After a few minutes, the conductor goes to the back on the train and makes an announcement.)

Conductor: *over announcement system* “Apologies for the delay of this service. This is due to a lowlife passenger attempting to travel on this service without a valid ticket, who apparently thinks you’re all mugs for buying one.”

(With this, the train erupted into laughter and the passenger quickly got up and ran off the train, avoiding eye contact with everyone. The train then left the station only a few minutes later than planned.)

A Receipt Defeat

| Whitehorse, YK, Canada | Crazy Requests, Transportation

Customer: “Hey, you wouldn’t happen to remember me, would you?”

Me: “No, I can’t say that I do.”

Customer: “Well, I bought a car battery off you a couple of months ago and I was just wondering if you remembered me.”

Me: “No, I don’t remember you.”

Customer: “I was hoping you would remember me buying a battery from you. It wasn’t that long ago.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but I don’t remember you at all. Why is it important that I remember selling a battery to you?”

Customer: “I want to bring a battery back and get a new one under warranty”

Me: “All you need to bring a battery back under warranty is the original receipt. You don’t need to find the same person that sold you the battery.”

Customer: “That’s the thing; I can’t find the receipt so I was hoping you could vouch for me buying the battery from you so I could exchange the battery.”

Me: “Even if I remembered you, you still need the original receipt and paperwork with the serial number and warranty program number on it.”

Customer: “So there’s no way to get an exchange on a battery without the receipt even if you remember me?”

Me: “Yes.Even if I remembered you, you still need the receipt.”

Customer: “Do you guys keep a copy of the receipt anywhere?”

Me: “No, sir, we give you the receipt.”

Customer: “Wow, that sucks.”

Driving Directionless

| CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Transportation

(We have tricky pumps and constantly have.to explain to people how to use them…)

Customer: “The f****** pumps are not working!”

Me: “You have to push in the nozzle all the way.”

Customer: “I f****** did that. Can’t you just come and f****** help me?”

Me: “I’m busy right now; I’ll be outside in two minutes.”

(I wait two minutes and go outside and try pushing the nozzle all the way in and it doesn’t work… so I read the display screen.)

Me: “Sir, it says you need to lower the lever.”

Customer: “Well, at every other gas station you lift it up!”

Me: *slams down lever* “Well, at this gas station we follow directions.”

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