November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Transportation

The Jewel Fool

| USA | Bad Behavior, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I’m in the TSA pre-check line, since I have *paid* for clearance for such. Recently, the policy has been that flyers over 65 get automatic pre-check, for the most part. In front of me in the security screening line is an older woman, who I assume got the “elderly flyer” clearance.)

TSA Agent: “Ma’am, you need to remove your jewelry to go through the metal detector. You can probably go through with a single necklace or ring, but not with the numerous pieces you’re wearing. If you have something really valuable, we can hold it within your sight while you walk through.”

Elderly Flyer: “I’m not letting any of my very valuable jewelry out of my sight… It’ll be fine; just let me through.”

TSA Agent: “We can’t really stop you from trying… Please walk through the metal detector.”

(Of course the metal detector goes nuts with her piles of jewelry, but despite TSA’s requests to take the jewelry off or step aside, she continues ranting and raving and blocking the metal detector so that no one else can proceed. Eventually, they get her off to the side, and let people behind her go through the metal detector. I don’t remove my wedding set since I know that it doesn’t contain enough metal to set off the detectors, but that is literally the only metal on my person.)

Elderly Flyer: “NOW HOLD ON A MINUTE! She just walked through the metal detector wearing a hunk of a rock, and you didn’t hold her up for one second. Why am I being persecuted?”

TSA Agent: “Ma’am, she was wearing just one ring, and a typical wedding ring won’t set off the detectors. You are wearing several necklaces, bracelets, and rings. You don’t have to take it all off, but more than one necklace, bracelet, or ring will probably set off the detectors, and then we have to re-screen you. Again, if any one of your pieces of jewelry are very valuable, we can hold it while you walk through the metal detector, and it will never be out of your sight.”

Elderly Flyer: “I just don’t understand why I’m being subject to such intense screening. I’m an innocent old lady!”

Me: *finally snapping* “Look, lady, you were put in this line just because you are old. If you were even a few years younger, you’d be standing in a long line downstairs and have to take not only your jewelry, but also shoes and coat off, plus remove the iPad I saw you using a few minutes ago from your bag, and I’m going to bet you have liquids in your bag you didn’t have to remove, either. I paid $100 and went through a background check and in-person interview to use this line… You got here for free because you are old. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. If they asked me to take my wedding set off because it set the metal detector off, I would do it, even though it’s worth at least 10 times what all your costume jewelry is. Take your jewelry off, put it through the x-ray machine, and GET OVER IT.”

(She stood there mouth agape that someone would tell her what’s what. The TSA agent at the end of the line, where I was retrieving my carry on, gave me a discreet high-five.)

Your Parking Skills Are Mud

| QC, Canada | Bizarre, Transportation

(I am working part time directing traffic in the parking lot. The parking lot is a small patch of paved lot, some gravel, but mostly dirt. Because of the season the dirt is actually mud.)

Customer: *pulls up in expensive Mercedes from inside the parking lot* “Excuse me, but are there any spots? I’ve been looking for 45 minutes.”

Me: “Half the parking lot is free.”

Customer: “But all the places left have mud.”

Me: “So? Your car is built for it.”

Customer: “But my wife is wearing [Fancy Shoe Brand].”

(The customer drives back into the parking lot to look for a space, and returns after a few minutes.)

Customer: “Hey, would it be any trouble if I park in that spot?” *points to handicap spot*

Me: “Only if you don’t mind being towed away.”

(Customer drove around for a few more minutes until a spot in the paved area opened. He and his wife walked into the restaurant, only to leave a few minutes later. Their reservation had past.)

Dealing With Her Was A Walk In The Parking

| Australia | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Transportation

(I am the boss of a plumbing business and deal with a lot of idiots who try and park in my area and going to different stores. There are signs up everywhere that say that this area is only for customers. A woman parks her car in my area and walks across to another store. It is about an hour away from closing.)

Me: “Excuse me, miss, but you can not park here. This area is only reserved for the customers of this business.”

Woman: *angrily* “Well, I was just going to go next door so I don’t see why I have to move. Besides, I don’t see anything that says I can’t!” *walks away*

Me: *catching up indicating to all the signs* “Miss, look there are signs everywhere that say if you are not a customer, you are not allowed to park here. There are plenty of parking spaces at the shop you are going to. Move your car or I will call the towing company.”

Woman: *snottily* “You wouldn’t do that; otherwise I will sue you!” *walks away*

(I decide to just leave it and begin to pack up to leave. I wait for an hour and she still hasn’t come out. Getting impatient, I call the police asking them what to do.)

Me: “Hello, I am calling because there is this woman who has parked her car in my businesses parking area although there are signs clearly indicating the area is only for customers. We closed an hour ago and she still hasn’t come. What should I do?”

Officer: “Well, if she hasn’t come and it is after closing, then just leave her car in there and she can wait until tomorrow to pick it up. Also if you give me her registration we can give a fine for breaking the law.”

Me: “Okay, the registration number is [number]. Okay thanks.”

(I then proceed to close up the store completely, closing the gate and locking it, and also leaving a message to the lady:)

My Letter: “Hello, as you have been so rude and have ignored my warnings of not moving your car, I have locked it up and you can wait until tomorrow morning. Also be ready to receive a fine in the mail. Regards: The owner.”

(The next morning the lady had climbed the fence and was trying to ram down the gate with her car. Not only did her car get damaged, she got arrested and received a fine for breaking property.)

Turning The Wheels Of Justice

| Como, Italy | Criminal/Illegal, Transportation

(I work in a tire center. Two shady figures show up at the door in an old, battered van:)

Guy #1: “Are you interested in second hand wheels?”

Me: “In some cases, yes. What do you have to offer?”

Guy #1: “I have in my van a set of 18-inches alloy wheels for a [luxury German car] with new winter tires.” *he then opens the rear doors and show me the wheels*

Me: “Oh, they’re quite nice! In fact, I have a customer who’s looking for this kind of wheels for his car. Let me call him. I guess he’ll be more than happy to make a deal with you!”

Guy #2: “Good. Can we wait inside?”

Me: “Of course, and please help yourself with some complimentary coffee while I make a couple of calls.”

(15 minutes later, the customer showed up… together with two cops who handcuffed the guys and put them in the back of their cruiser. Apparently, it is not only a bad idea try to sell stolen wheels, but even a worse one try to sell me the very same wheels and tires I installed the day before on the [luxury German car] of a loyal customer!)

Surprising Enterprising

| USA | Bad Behavior, Money, Transportation

Caller: “I need you to come down and fix a tire on my car. It’s flat.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. I’m a bit backed up at the moment, so it will be about an hour before I can come down.”

Caller: “I need to go to [Next Town Over] this afternoon so I need it fixed as soon as possible.”

Me: “That’s fine. I can take care of it by noon, but like I said I have customers here in the shop so I can’t just leave just yet.”

Caller: “Well, I’ll tell you what. I’ll call [Competitor] and see if he can come down, and whichever one of you gets here first gets the business.”

Me: “No, I’m afraid it doesn’t work like that. If you call me down I expect to get the business because you asked me to fix your tire for you. If I get down there and someone else has already fixed it then I’d still have to charge you a service call fee.”

Caller: “What? I’m not paying you for not doing anything.”

Me: “You’re asking me to leave the shop and burn my gas to come down in hopes I get there first. I’m not going to play that game. If you want to call [Competitor] and have them do it instead I’ll understand, or you can wait an hour and I can come down.”

Caller: “I don’t see what the problem is. That’s free enterprise. If you get here first then I’ll pay you to fix it.”

Me: “And if I don’t get there first, I’ve wasted my time and money. ”

Caller: “That’s why you compete for business.”

Me: “We compete by providing better service and lower prices, not by who has the faster truck. You make an oral contract with a business, you should be willing to pay. You wouldn’t order a pizza from two different pizza places and tell them whoever delivered first gets your business, then expect the loser to just eat the costs.”

Caller: “Sounds okay to me. They should give better service.”

Me: “Well, anyway, do you want me to come down or not?”

Caller: “Okay. It’s [Address].”

Me: “Okay, I’ll be down there as fast as I can. Don’t call anyone else to fix it, or if you do call me back and let me know so I don’t waste time driving there.”

Caller: “One more thing… can I wait to pay you tomorrow?”

Me: *face-palm*

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