Category: Tourists/Travel

They Swim Upriver To Mate

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Tourists/Travel

Customer: “I would like to schedule a Grand Canyon white water rafting and whale watching trip, please.”

Me: “So you’d like a tour to go to the Grand Canyon and then a tour to the ocean for whale watching?”

Customer: “No, I want to see the whales at the Grand Canyon!”

No Country For Confused Men

| Edinburgh, UK | Tourists/Travel

Customer: “Hi! My friends are coming in from America. Is there any chance I can meet them at their baggage claim?”

Me: “I’m sorry. Unfortunately, you aren’t allowed to go through the gates at international arrivals. You’ll just have to meet them there.”

Customer: “Oh, that sucks. Never mind.”

(The customer begins to leave and suddenly turns back.)

Customer: “Oh, wait! I’ve got another question.”

Me: “Sure.”

Customer: “What country am I in?”

Lost-And-Found-Again-Land

| Halifax, Canada | Tourists/Travel

(My customer asks me for a map and says he is going to be heading over to Newfoundland. I give him a map and point it out for him.)

Customer: “Why do you spell it ‘Newfoundland’? It’s New Finland.”

Me: “Well, its pronounced sort of like New Finland, but it’s actually Newfoundland, as in ‘this is a New Found Land.'”

Customer: “No, it’s New Finland.”

Me: “I can guarantee you there are not many Finnish people there.”

Customer: “Of course not. They left 1,000 years ago!”

When In Rome (Or Canada)…

| British Columbia, Canada | Canada, Tourists/Travel

(I work at a tourist shop where we get Americans on a regular basis.)

Me: “Would you like to pay by credit card?”

Customer: “Yes. Do you know where I can find a Bank of America?”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry, but there isn’t any around here.”

Customer: “So you guys don’t have Bank of America.”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, this is Canada.”

Related:
When In Rome (Or An Indian Restaurant)…
When In Rome (Or A Kosher Deli)…

The ETA Is Up In The Air

| USA | Tourists/Travel

Me: “Thank you for calling [airline]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “What time will flight [number] to [city] arrive?”

(I look up the flight in the system, which shows that it’s expected to arrive right about now.)

Me: “That flight is expected to arrive at [time].”

Caller: “Well, I’m calling from the plane, and we’re not landing yet.”

Me: “If you’re on the plane, you probably have more up-to-date information than I do. One of the flight attendants should be able to tell you when you’ll arrive.”

Caller: “I have to go. The flight attendants are yelling at me for talking on my cell phone!”

(The call abruptly ends.)

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