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    Category: Tourists/Travel

    Incheon Further Away From The Answer

    | Boston, MA, USA | Tourists/Travel

    Resident: “So are you Chinese or Puerto Rican? It’s hard to tell.”

    Me: “I’m Korean.”

    Resident: “Oh. Is that like Japan?”

    Me: “No, it’s Korea.”

    Resident: “Well, that was my next guess. So, do you speak Chinese or Japanese?”

    Bean There, Done That

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

    Me: “Hello, sir, what can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “I just came from Mexico. I had some good beans there. What were they? Ah, yes! Frijoles!”

    Me: “Sir, frijoles is just the word for beans in Spanish.”

    Customer: “No! I had special beans in Mexico and they were called frijoles! Get me frijoles!”

    Me: “Sir, we only have refried beans at this deli. These are frijoles. Would you like these, or something else?”

    Customer: “Frijoles! How is this so difficult to understand?”

    Me: “Sir, frijoles are beans…in Spanish.”

    Customer: “Then get me beans in Spanish!”

    Uphill Struggle

    | Mont Cenis, France | Tourists/Travel

    ( I am providing a guided skiing tour of the mountain.)

    Customer: “So, where are we going next?”

    Me: “Well, do you see that lift over there?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “Well, we’re going to head up that one until we reach the top of the mountain, and then–”

    Customer: “Are you kidding? It’ll be cold up there, and we’ll just have to ski back down again!”

    Why Bus Drivers Should Rule The World

    | San Jose, CA, USA | Top, Tourists/Travel

    (I am in the middle of a long bus ride. A woman is talking extremely loudly on her cell phone. Several other commuters have already moved away from her.)

    Driver: “Ma’am. I have to ask you to quiet down. You are disturbing other passengers.”

    Woman: “Ugh.”

    (She lowers her voice for about three minutes, then begins yelling again.)

    Driver: “Ma’am, I told you once already. If I can hear it, it’s too loud. If you don’t take it down a notch you’re getting off at the next stop.”

    Woman: *glares* “I am trying to have a private conversation! Will you give me a minute?”

    (At this point, a man who had moved away silently stands up, removes the big “Be A Considerate Commuter” sign from the overhead rack, and sits pointedly across from her with it.)

    Woman: “Hold on, Lita. Some a** is trying to get my attention.” *covers phone* “If you don’t like it, you can get off the bus! Stop eavesdropping on me!”

    Man: “Well ma’am, at this point, I think you could talk a little louder and dispense with the phone entirely.”

    Woman: *flustered and angry* “Whatever! Okay, I’m back, Lita. So, anyway…”

    (I hope the next stop was hers, because that’s where the driver left her.)

    Why Cashiers Should Rule The World
    Why Barkeeps Should Rule The World, Part 2
    Why Barkeeps Should Rule The World

    High Commission Brain Attrition

    | New Zealand | Tourists/Travel

    (A woman tourist  in her late thirties rushes up to my desk, followed by a man who appears to be her husband and three children.)

    Tourist: “Ma’am, ma’am, this is an emergency! My family have missed our flight and our passports are gone!”

    Me: “I can put you in touch with your high commission, Ma’am.”

    Tourist: “Oh, yes! Would you?”

    Woman’s husband: “Sweetheart, I have the passports at the hotel.”

    Tourist: “Oh. Well, we still missed our flight! It’s June 18th and we were meant to leave on the 12th!”

    Me: “Ma’am, may I see your tickets, please? Then I can put you in touch with your travel agent.”

    Tourist: “Here you go!”

    Me: “Ma’am, see here.”

    Tourist: “Yes, June 12th.”

    Me: “No, Ma’am. July 12th.”

    Tourist: “Oh.”

    Woman’s son: *looks about eight* “Oh, mom….”

    Tourist: “Oh, yeah, can you give us directions to that museum thing, Ta Pape?”

    Me: “You mean Te Papa?”

    Tourist: “Yeah.”

    Me: “This is Te Papa.”

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