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    Category: Tourists/Travel

    When Bygones Mean Bi-Gones

    | Kentucky, USA | Funny Names, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

    Me: “You’re not from around here are you?”

    Customer: “Nope, I’m from Canada.”

    Me: “Oh cool! Do you speak French?”

    Customer: “Yup, I’m bilingual.”

    Other Customer In Line: “Down here, if something’s bi, we shoot it.”

    Best Oosik To What You Know

    | Anchorage, AK, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Tourists/Travel

    Customer: “Excuse me, what is this?”

    Me: “That’s an ‘oosik’.”

    Customer: “What’s it made of?”

    Me: “It’s umm.. the lower anatomy of a walrus.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “It’s a part of a male walrus.”

    Customer: “What part?”

    Me: “It’s a petrified walrus penis.”

    (The customer laughs and runs over to his wife. They talk in their language for a bit then he drags her over by the arm, still giggling.)

    Customer: “Tell her what it is!”

    Ordering Pizza, Talking Baloney

    | Colorado Springs, CO, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (I am a lunch lady at a high school, and one of the students there is going to be leaving for a trip to Italy soon.)

    Me: “What kind of pizza would you like?”

    Student: “One pepperoni, one cheese.”

    Me: “So are you excited to spend two months in Italy?”

    Student: “Yeah, but I’m really going to miss all the good food here at school. Especially pizza.”

    Me: “But you’ll be in Italy right? So you can have pizza there.”

    Student: “Yeah but it won’t be authentic pizza from America. It’ll just be cheap Italian knock-offs.”

    Related:
    Ordering Meatballs, Talking Baloney

    Unable To Bridge The Gap

    | Nevada, USA | Tourists/Travel

    Customer:“Where is it?”

    Me: “Where is what?”

    Customer:“The bridge! The bridge over the lake.”

    Me:“I’m sorry, sir, but there is no bridge over the lake.”

    (The customer points to a local map.)

    Customer: “There is, it’s right there! A bridge.”

    Me: “Sir, that would be the state line that you are pointing at. It’s the line that separates California from Nevada. The state line.”

    Customer:“Oh…so there’s no bridge?”

    Swords On A Plane

    | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Tourists/Travel

    (A man going through security is stopped when the x-ray reveals that he has a full-length sword in his carry on luggage.)

    Me: “Sir, what are you doing with this sword?”

    Customer: “It’s a souvenir. It’s not even sharp.”

    Me: “This can in no way go on board a plane.”

    Customer: “But it’s not even sharp!”

    Me: “You’re going to need to come with me. Anything like this, whether it’s a souvenir or not, should have been placed in your checked luggage.”

    Customer: “I don’t believe this! It’s not a real sword! And it’s not even sharp?! Do I look stupid to you?”

    Me: “You look like a person trying to bring a sword onto a plane.”

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