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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Tourists/Travel

    Employees Who Have Spirit

    | GA, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Money, Tourists/Travel

    (I am a hotel concierge, and a few customers are talking about the prices of late-night ghost tours of the city.)

    Customer: “What’s the price of [Tour #1]?”

    Me: “That one is [Expensive Price], and it’s inside an air-conditioned trolley that goes through most of downtown.”

    Customer: “What’s the price of [Tour #2?]”

    Me: “That one’s [Cheap Price], and it’s a walking tour inside of a graveyard. There’s also a tour in a modified hearse that’s [Cheaper Price], and it’s the most economical.”

    Customer: “Well, what tour can I get for two dollars?”

    (Most of the prices are over twenty dollars, and my mother has a strange way of dealing with customers that try to lowball the prices.)

    Me: “For two dollars, I’ll take your family into the bathroom, turn off the lights, and go ‘WoooOOOooooOOO!’ like a ghost.”

    A Runway Runaway

    | Louisburg, NC, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Tourists/Travel

    (I work at a small airport in Louisburg. We don’t have many commercial planes fly in but when we do they are normal small bush planes with only a few people on board. We have had a runway problem and can’t let any planes take off today, as the runway is having work done.)

    Pilot: “Excuse me, but why has my flight been canceled?”

    Me: “We are having a problem with our runway and can’t take any flights today.”

    Pilot: “Well, that’s bull-s***. I was just out there and it was fine.”

    Me: “I’m sorry but as you can see…” *points out to runway with workers* “There are people working on it today.”


    Me: “Sir, I’m very sorry but I cannot let you through. Can you please calm down; I will be able to get you in the air first thing tomorrow.”

    Pilot: “No, I’ve had enough of you. Out of my WAY!”

    (He then pushed me out of the way and onto the floor and started to walk over to the hanger. I scrambled to my feet and called the workers and my supervisor to tell them what was coming, and called the police. The other worker and I sprinted over to the hanger and managed to get the hanger door closed before he could start the plane. After a while the police came and took him away, as he was going to try and take off with people working on the runway!)

    Should Have Taken A Different Rhode

    | Newport, RI, USA | Geography, Tourists/Travel

    (I live and work in a popular tourist town on an island. We provide boat tours around the bay between the island and the mainland. A woman comes up to me.)

    Woman: “How do you know when you cross state lines during the tour if you’re on the water?”

    Me: “Well, our tours don’t leave the bay, so we don’t encounter that situation.”

    Woman: “You don’t cross state lines?”

    Me: “No, we don’t.”

    Woman: “Well, what’s that then?”

    (She points at the mainland in the distance.)

    Me: “That’s Providence, ma’am, and right across the bay is Jamestown.”

    Woman: “No, no. What state is it?”

    Me: “It’s still Rhode Island.”

    Woman: “No, it can’t be. What state is it?”

    Me: “I assure you, it’s still Rhode Island. Providence is the capital city.”

    Woman: “How can the capital city of Rhode Island be outside of Rhode Island?”

    Me: “It isn’t. All the land you see across the water is still Rhode Island.”

    Woman: “But that’s impossible!”

    (Suddenly I realize why she’s confused.)

    Me: “Ma’am, the island we’re on right now is called Aquidneck Island. Rhode Island is a state comprised of several different islands and a large mainland. Providence is on the mainland and Jamestown is on Conanicut Island, which I assure you is still a part of Rhode Island.”

    Woman: “You mean we’re not on Rhode Island?”

    Me: “We are IN Rhode Island, but we are currently ON Aquidneck Island.”

    Woman: “Well, that’s just false advertisement!”

    A Titanic Lie

    | Albuquerque, NM, USA | History, Movies & TV, Tourists/Travel

    (In 2012, I am working at the end of the Titanic exhibit next to the wall of names of those who lost their lives. Next to the wall, is a sign saying that Jack and Rose from the movie are fictional characters, and were not actually present on the ship.)

    Patron #1: “Did you know that Jack and Rose were real live people?”

    Patron #2: “Oh, wow! I didn’t know they actually existed!”

    Patron #1: “Oh, yeah! But the only reason they’re not on any lists is because Jack won his ticket and Rose changed her name!”

    Me: “Ladies, if you’ll notice the sign next to the wall of the lost, you’ll see that they were actually fictional characters that never existed.”

    Patron #1: “What? You lie! THEIR LOVE WAS REAL AND SO WERE THEY!” *storms out of the exhibit*

    Not Even Remotely Thinking

    | Ruidoso, NM, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Tourists/Travel

    (I work for a small shop in town. We get a few tourist high points a year. It’s a mountain town with a population of about 8,000. It’s only 20 minutes away from another town and about 45 minutes from a larger city.)

    Customer: “How do you people live out here?”

    Me: “What? What do you mean?”

    Customer: “It’s so… remote.”

    Me: “Oh, well, we have everything we need here. Also, there is larger city about 45 minutes away if we need something that we cannot find here. Besides, it’s beautiful here.”

    Customer: “But… do you have electricity?”

    Me: *looks at all the lights in the store, the electronic cash register and the neon sign outside, the lamp posts outside and the traffic lights* “Yes… yes, we do.”

    Customer: “What about plumbing?”

    Me: “Yes…”

    Customer: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Positive?”

    Customer: “What about [popular and huge hotel]? Do they have lights and toilets?”

    Me: “Yes… everywhere here does. Literally, everywhere.”

    Customer: “But… it’s so remote. How do they get the lights here?”

    Me: “….wires and light poles?”

    Customer: “But where do the wires come from?”

    Me: “The nearest power station?”

    Customer: “What about water?”

    Me: “Pipes, and it would come from the nearest water treatment plant, which we have here.”

    Customer: “I just don’t understand you people at all.”

    Me: “Well, enjoy your stay…”

    Customer: “Do the people here have cars?”

    Me: “Have you seen cars since you have been here?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “There you go.”