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    Category: Tourists/Travel

    Lost In No Translation

    | The Hague, Netherlands | Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

    (A lost-looking tourist enters the shop.)

    Tourist: “Do any of y’all speak American?”

    Me: *joking* “I’m sorry, but we can only speak English.”

    Tourist: “Okay, sorry to bother you.” *leaves*

    H2Slow, Part 3

    | Minnesota, USA | Money, Tourists/Travel

    Caller: "I was just wondering if my credit card will work the same in Hawaii as it does here?"

    Me: "Well, ma’am, Hawaii is part of the US, so it should."

    Caller: "I know. I was just making sure since we’d be flying over a body of water."

    Related:
    H2Slow, Part 2
    H2Slow

    No Vocation For Location, Part 2

    | Huntsville, AL, USA | Tourists/Travel

    Customer: “Yes I am wondering why I got hit with roaming charges in the Bahamas?”

    Me: “Well, because your plan offers you coverage in the United States and outside of it there are roaming charges.”

    Customer: “Well I never got these charges in Puerto Rico!”

    Me: “That’s because Puerto Rico is part of the US.”

    Customer: “But it takes me longer to get there!”

    Related:
    No Aptitude For Latitude, Part 2
    No Vocation For Location
    No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 4
    No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 3
    No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 2
    No Fortitude For Longitude
    No Aptitude For Latitude

    Take It Away, Uncle Sam

    | New Zealand | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

    (Fast food places are often referred to as takeaway stores in New Zealand.)

    Me: “Hello and welcome to [fast food]. May I take your order?”

    Customer: “So, what is a tar… key… ah… way…?”

    Me: “Um, takeaways. As in food you can take away.”

    Customer: “Oh, is it a Maori word?”

    Me: “No sir. It’s an English word. May I ask, are you from out of New Zealand?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’m from America, but you’re lying about takeaways being an English word. I’ve been to Canada and they don’t use it there!”

    The Land Of The Free From Thought

    | London | Food & Drink, Tourists/Travel

    (I work in a cafe popular with tourists. During one afternoon I see an American man lighting a cigarette. We have a smoking ban in the UK that bans smoking in all public places.)

    Me: “Excuse me sir, but I’m afraid you’ll have to smoke that cigarette outside.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    (I explain the smoking ban to him.)

    Customer: “That’s bulls***! That’s a breach of the First Amendment!”

    Me: “Sir, I have no idea what that is, though I think it’s something to do with free speech.”

    Customer: *shocked* “How can you not know the First Amendment? It’s the law!”

    Me: “It’s your law, judging by your accent. We have a completely different set of laws.”

    Customer: “England has its own laws?”

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