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  • Always Time For A Rhyme
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  • Category: Tourists/Travel

    Lack Of Grey Matter, Part 3

    | Kent, UK | Tourists/Travel

    (During an audio/visual experience of the siege of 1216 within a castle, I am approached by a tourist.)

    Tourist: “Excuse me, sir. Can you help me with a question?”

    Me: “Of course. What would you like to know?”

    Tourist: “Is the footage being shown actual live footage of the siege of 1216?”

    Me: “You want to know if this video is showing actual footage of the siege of 1216?”

    Tourist: “How silly of me. They only had black and white video back then, didn’t they?”

    Related:
    Lack Of Grey Matter, Part 2
    Lack Of Grey Matter

    Adapt Your Knowledge Or Become Incontinent

    | FL, USA | Tourists/Travel

    (A customer is looking for a travel adapter for Egypt.)

    Me: “Here is one that will work. It is for Africa?”

    Customer: “I am not going to Africa. I am going to Egypt!”

    Me: “Egypt is on the African continent.”

    Customer: “Africa is a continent?”

    Caldera Cravings

    | CA, USA | Math & Science, Tourists/Travel

    Tourist: “Have I seen everything there is to see here?”

    Me: “I don’t know, ma’am. What have you seen?”

    Tourist: “Everything on the way in. Have I seen it all?”

    (I point out several of the other options.)

    Tourist: “Can I drive through any of the caves?”

    Me: “Nope, sorry. They all have to be walked through.”

    Tourist: “That’s ridiculous! Is there at least an elevator?”

    Me: “Nope, just stairs.”

    Tourist: “Well, where’s the river of lava? I was here a few years ago, and I got to stand by the lava.”

    Me: “Ma’am, molten lava hasn’t been here for over 1,000 years.”

    Tourist: “Yes it has! I’ve seen it! You just haven’t been here long enough!”

    This Deal Is A Steal

    | Iceland | Criminal/Illegal, Tourists/Travel

    (I’m assisting a tourist that is looking for a t-shirt to take home with pictures of Iceland on them.)

    Me: “Well, we don’t sell those t-shirts but there are quite a few of them down town and I know of one that has a 3 for 2 special offer on t-shirts.”

    Customer: “Could you also explain to me what a 3 for 2 offer is?”

    Me: “Sure, it means that you get 3 t-shirts for the price of 2.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand, so we steal the 3rd one? Isn’t shoplifting illegal here like in the states?”

    Me: “Yes, shoplifting is illegal here, but you wouldn’t be stealing the 3rd shirt. It just means that you choose 3 t-shirts and pay for 2 and then get the 3rd as a free gift sort of.”

    Customer: “I don’t get it.”

    Me: “You choose 3 t-shirts, and as the sales person scans them in to the register you get a 100% discount on the 3rd t-shirt. Therefore, you’ll get it for free with the other 2.”

    Customer: “I’ll go down there, but if they arrest me for shoplifting, I’m telling the police that you told me to!”

    I Have A Sinking Feeling

    | Oak Harbor, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (Note: We have posters of real and fictional places on the walls.)

    Customer: “Can I book a trip there?” *points at a poster of Atlantis*

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s not a real place.”

    Customer: *angry* “Then why is it on your wall!? That confuses people!”

    Me: “We figured most people knew that there are no cities under water.”

    Customer: “You shouldn’t assume everybody is that smart!”

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