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    Category: Tourists/Travel

    That Request Will Never Fly

    , | USA | Tourists/Travel

    (We hit a bit of turbulence. The ‘Fasten Seatbelt’ light goes on, and the captain comes on the intercom to tell us all to stay seated and buckled in. Shortly after this, a woman hits her call light. I come on over.)

    Me: *bracing myself on the seat across the row* “Yes, ma’am?”

    Passenger: “Could I have a glass of water, please?”

    Me: “Ma’am, the captain has asked us to all stay seated for our safety.”

    Passenger: “But I wouldn’t be getting up!”

    Me: “Ma’am, the captain has asked us ALL to stay seated for our safety.”

    Passenger: “Oh! You too?”

    (As I turn to head back to my seat I overhear her talking to the passenger next to her.)

    Passenger: “But I’ve seen them moving around in all sorts of weather…”

    Seeing The Sun In A Whole New Light

    | Narvik, Norway | Geography, Math & Science, Tourists/Travel

    (I work in a store, where a lot of tourists come through. A German motorcyclist couple are on their way up to the North Cape.)

    Customer: “Oh, your country is so beautiful! We’re going all the way up to the North Cape on our motorcycle.”

    Me: “Wow, how fun! Hope you get lucky with the weather then.”

    Customer: “Thank you dear. Yes, we have always wanted to see the midnight sun. We have saved up for this trip for years.”

    Me: “Well, then I really hope the weather gods are on your side. Would be a shame if it were all cloudy and grey when you get there.”

    Customer: “Oh, they say the midnight sun is so bright, it’ll shine through just about anything when it comes up! Can’t wait!”

    Me: “When it comes up? The sun is up all the time now.”

    Customer: “What? We’re here to see the midnight sun! You know, the one that shines at midnight?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, the midnight sun is the sun. The only sun. Only difference is that it’s so high here up north that it never sets. It just circles around a little. Therefore we can see it at night.”

    Customer: “What!” *she turns to her husband and rants in German* “Did you hear that? We’ve been ripped off! It’s the same sun as we have at home! And to think we came to this s*** expensive country, drove all the way, and it’s the same Sun!?”

    No Paws For Thought

    | Canada | Pets & Animals, Tourists/Travel

    Me: “Hello, [Public Transport], how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, do you allow cats on your buses?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry, but only service animals are allowed on the bus.”

    Caller: “But she’s a very quiet cat! The airline let me take her!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but those are the rules. We can’t allow animals on board.”

    (We go back and forth like this for a few minutes.)

    Caller: *desperately* “What if I say she’s a seeing-eye cat? I could put a little collar on her saying she’s a seeing-eye cat.”

    Me: “I don’t think that’s going to work.”

    Caller: “What if I dress her like a dog?”

    Me: “They’re not going to buy that.”

    Caller: “Why not?!”

    (The conversation continues in a similar fashion.)

    Caller: “You’re not allowed to hang up on me, are you?”

    Me: “No, ma’am.”

    Caller: “I feel sorry for you.”

    Reaching New (Faren)Heights Of Stupidity

    | Manila, Philippines | Math & Science, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (I overhear a tourist couple at breakfast one table over.)

    Customer: “Every day! This coffee is never hot enough.”

    Customer’s husband: “You’re just gonna have to get used to that. In these countries that use the Celsius scale, they boil their water at only 100 degrees.”

    Lost In No Translation

    | The Hague, Netherlands | Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

    (A lost-looking tourist enters the shop.)

    Tourist: “Do any of y’all speak American?”

    Me: *joking* “I’m sorry, but we can only speak English.”

    Tourist: “Okay, sorry to bother you.” *leaves*

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