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    Category: Tourists/Travel

    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 2

    | Nova Scotia, Canada | Canada, Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

    (The majority of the customers coming into this shop are from off of the cruise ships and mainly American.)

    Me: “Is there anything I can help you with today, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Um, yes…could you tell me where I am?”

    Me: “Yup, you’re in Canada.”

    Customer: “And where is Canada?”

    Me: “Um, well, if you look at a map, it’s that large country on top of your country.”

    Customer: “Oh.”

    (She looks baffled by this new piece of information and slowly turns around and walks away.)

    Related:
    Canada: America’s Hat

    The Sweet Smell Of Savings

    , | Chino, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

    (A customer comes to my window and I help him get his entry and equipment rentals. I also give him a coupon for his next visit.)

    Me: “Here is a coupon for $5 off your next visit.”

    (The customer starts to scratch the coupon.)

    Customer: “What’s it do?”

    Me: “Sir, it’s not scratch and sniff. It gets you $5 off you next visit.”

    (He scratches the coupon with more force, then smells it.)

    Customer: “I don’t smell anything. What’s it do?”

    Me: “It’s a $5 off coupon for your next visit.”

    (The customer scratches the coupon some more.)

    Customer: “Ugh! I don’t understand. I scratch it and it doesn’t smell like anything. What does it do?!”

    Me: “The next time you come back, you bring this with you and you save $5 on your entry.”

    Customer: “Oh, so it doesn’t smell like anything?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “And I save $5 on my next visit?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Oh, I’m from out of state, so, no thank you!”

    They Swim Upriver To Mate

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Tourists/Travel

    Customer: “I would like to schedule a Grand Canyon white water rafting and whale watching trip, please.”

    Me: “So you’d like a tour to go to the Grand Canyon and then a tour to the ocean for whale watching?”

    Customer: “No, I want to see the whales at the Grand Canyon!”

    No Country For Confused Men

    | Edinburgh, UK | Tourists/Travel

    Customer: “Hi! My friends are coming in from America. Is there any chance I can meet them at their baggage claim?”

    Me: “I’m sorry. Unfortunately, you aren’t allowed to go through the gates at international arrivals. You’ll just have to meet them there.”

    Customer: “Oh, that sucks. Never mind.”

    (The customer begins to leave and suddenly turns back.)

    Customer: “Oh, wait! I’ve got another question.”

    Me: “Sure.”

    Customer: “What country am I in?”

    Lost-And-Found-Again-Land

    | Halifax, Canada | Tourists/Travel

    (My customer asks me for a map and says he is going to be heading over to Newfoundland. I give him a map and point it out for him.)

    Customer: “Why do you spell it ‘Newfoundland’? It’s New Finland.”

    Me: “Well, its pronounced sort of like New Finland, but it’s actually Newfoundland, as in ‘this is a New Found Land.’”

    Customer: “No, it’s New Finland.”

    Me: “I can guarantee you there are not many Finnish people there.”

    Customer: “Of course not. They left 1,000 years ago!”

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