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  • Category: Tourists/Travel

    When In Rome (Or Spain)

    | Madrid, Spain | Top, Tourists/Travel

    (An American customer approaches me as I work at the customer service counter.)

    Customer: “I’d like to make a complaint!”

    Me: “Sure, sir. What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “Why are all the road signs in f***ing Spanish? Aren’t you all supposed to be speaking English? If you’re going to live here, speak English!”

    Me: “We are in Spain, sir. Spanish is our official language.”

    O, Canaduh

    | UK | Canada, Tourists/Travel

    (A customer walks up to the counter.)

    Me: “Hi sir! What can I get—“

    Customer: “Hi! I’m Canadian! Do you have a normal coffee?”

    Me: *confused* “Erm, yes, sir, we have filter coffee that you can add milk to, if you’d like?”

    Customer: “That’ll do. Thanks!”

    (We finish the transaction and I’m still confused as to his interesting but random piece of information. I watch him as he goes towards the station where the milk is kept. There is another customer there putting milk in her coffee. When she finishes, he reaches across to get the milk.)

    Customer: “Hi! I’m Canadian!”

    When Reality Is An Iceberg

    | Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada | Tourists/Travel

    (This museum has a large Titanic exhibit. Many of the rescued survivors were brought to Halifax after the ship sank. Many of the recovered bodies of the vicitms are buried here as well. A tourist approaches me.)

    Tourist: “So, is Leonardo Di Caprio buried upstairs?”

    They Sneak Up On Ya

    | Prince Rupert, BC, Canada | Tourists/Travel

    Customer: “Hey, are there any Indian attacks on this village?”

    Me: *taken aback* “Um. No. No, there are not.”

    Customer: “Well, what about the sign?”

    Me: “What sign?”

    Customer: “The sign that says ‘Watch Out For Ava-LAN-cheez’.”

    (From his pronunciation, it’s clear what he’s actually referring to are Apaches, not avalanches.)

    Me: *trying not to laugh* “Um, no…they never attack our small village anymore.”

    Make Benefit Glorious Guestlogisticstan

    | Florida, USA | Geography, Tourists/Travel

    (I work for a very well known cruise line in Florida. More likely than not, the crew members are not from the US. The people in the terminal on the other hand, are usually locals.)

    Me: “Welcome to [cruise line], how are you today?”

    Customer: *turning to wife* “Honey, she’s foreign.”

    (He then turns back to me, flashes a huge smile, and starts speaking in incredibly slow English)

    Customer: “Hello!” *glances at my name tag* “My! I’ve never heard of a country called ‘Guestlogistics’! Where is that?”

    Me: “Sir, that’s my position here at the terminal. I’m actually from around here.”

    Customer: “Is that in Europe?”

    Me: “No, I’m from [next town over].”

    Customer: *blank stare* “Okay…anyway, we’re all here to check in.”

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