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  • Always Time For A Rhyme
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  • Category: Tourists/Travel

    Insinuatingly Dangerous

    | West Yellowstone, MT, USA | Tourists/Travel

    (This happens during a small snow storm. West Yellowstone is at the top of Gallatin Canyon and the road can be very dangerous in the winter.)

    Visitor: “Thanks for the directions! I’m heading for Bozeman.”

    Me: “You’re welcome, and drive safe!”

    Visitor: “How dare you?! I am a great driver! Don’t you ever again imply otherwise!”

    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 4

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Geography, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (Note: my job at the airport is to give information to tourists as a courtesy.)

    Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “How do I get to New Orleans from here?”

    Me: “You’ll need to take a flight. It’s on the other side of the country.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not.”

    Me: “Yes, it’s in Louisiana.”

    Customer: *getting mad* “Well, I’m from Houston and I’d be pretty pissed off if I went all this way for nothing!”

    Me: “Wait…if you wanted to go to New Orleans, why did you take a plane to Los Angeles?”

    Customer: “Because I’ve been wanting to visit my old pen pal for awhile to surprise him. Every time I send him a letter, I write ‘New Orleans, LA’ on the envelope. That’s L.A.! That’s where I am, and I know you’re lying!”

    Related:
    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 3
    Make Benefit Glorious Guestlogisticstan
    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 2
    The Great State Of Confusion
    The Great State Of Ignorance

    Cinnabonkers For Cinnamon

    | Boston, MA, USA | Food & Drink, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (There is a flight leaving our airport over an hour later than expected. My department is trying to re-direct passengers to other connecting flights, or reschedule flights they may miss because of the delay. An Irish woman, around 50, approaches the counter.)

    Me: “I apologize for the delay. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Hello, young man. I must say this delayed flight to Charlotte is unacceptable. I have a connector to Dublin I will need to be on ten minutes after this delayed flight lands. How do you expect me to make it in ten minutes?!”

    Me: “I do apologize for the inconvenience. If you give me a couple of minutes, I can check and see how I can re-route you.” *begins searching* “Ma’am, I do have a direct flight from this airport to Dublin, leaving in about two hours. That will put you in Dublin a couple of hours ahead of schedule.”

    Customer: “So I won’t go to Charlotte?”

    Me: “No, you won’t. And due to the inconvenience, there will be no extra charge for moving you to the direct flight.”

    Customer: “So I won’t go to Charlotte?”

    Me: “No, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “Ma’am, if I send you on this flight to Charlotte, you won’t have time to make the connector to Dublin. However, if I put you on the flight I’m talking about—”

    Customer: “The one that won’t have me going to Charlotte?”

    Me: “Yes, that one. If I put you on—”

    Customer: “But I want to go to Charlotte.”

    Me: “Let me check and see when the next flight from Charlotte to Dublin is.” *searching* “I have a flight leaving for Dublin tomorrow morning at 6:47 AM. That will put you in Dublin at around 7:00 PM at their local time, almost 24 hours later than if you just—”

    Customer: “I’ll take it!”

    Me: “May I ask why you would rather stay the night here in Boston than take this direct flight I’m offering you?”

    Customer: “The Charlotte airport has a Cinnabon.”

    When In Rome (Or China)

    | China | Tourists/Travel

    (I am on a small group tour of China. One of the other tourists has been grumpy and loudly complaining all week. At the moment, he’s complaining to the Chinese tour guide.)

    Tourist: “There were no English channels on the TV. I ended up watching the basketball game, but because there wasn’t an English commentary I listened to my mp3 player to drown out the horrible sound of the Chinese commentary.”

    Tour guide: *speechless*

    Tourist: “And you really should tell them to get some English newspapers in their hotels if they want people to stay here!”

    (At this point, I’m fed up with hearing him complain.)

    Me: “You’re in China. Of course things are in their language. If you want to read the newspaper, get a Chinese to English dictionary.”

    Tourist: “Why would I want to read Chinese?!”

    It’s Been Ages Since We’ve Seen Those Words

    | USA | Tourists/Travel

    (A woman approaches my counter after spending an unusually long time reading the “Arrivals” and “Departures” board.)

    Passenger: “What does ‘On Time’ mean?”

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