Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Your Connection Is Totally Forked
    (1,924 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Tourists/Travel

    The Linguistic Frontier

    | Alaska, USA | Geography, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

    (I was born and raised in Alaska. I’ve been told by a lot of people that I sound very generically American. I’ve been answering questions for this couple for about five minutes.)

    Me: “Let me know if there’s anything else I can help you with!”

    Male Tourist: “No, we’ll be fine, thanks.”

    Me: “Okay. Enjoy your stay!”

    Female Tourist: “Thanks, honey. You speak real good English for being an Alaskan!”

    Don’t Throw Rocks In Glass Elevators

    | USA | Family & Kids, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (Note: I am a passenger on a cruise ship with my father. I am in my early 20′s and my father is in his late 50′s. We are in the elevator with some other passengers on our way back to our rooms.)

    Passenger: *glares at us* “That’s disgraceful!”

    Me: “I’m…sorry?”

    Passenger: “That’s disgraceful. The age difference between you two. You should be ashamed of yourselves! Absolutely disgusting!”

    (My dad and I give confused looks to each other. The other passengers have now begun to stare.)

    Dad: “You’re very right. After all, I used to change her diapers when she was a baby!”

    Passenger: “What?!”

    Me: “Yeah, older men aren’t my type. Plus, he’s my dad.”

    Passenger: *practically plows out of the elevator at the next floor*

    Insinuatingly Dangerous

    | West Yellowstone, MT, USA | Tourists/Travel

    (This happens during a small snow storm. West Yellowstone is at the top of Gallatin Canyon and the road can be very dangerous in the winter.)

    Visitor: “Thanks for the directions! I’m heading for Bozeman.”

    Me: “You’re welcome, and drive safe!”

    Visitor: “How dare you?! I am a great driver! Don’t you ever again imply otherwise!”

    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 4

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Geography, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (Note: my job at the airport is to give information to tourists as a courtesy.)

    Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “How do I get to New Orleans from here?”

    Me: “You’ll need to take a flight. It’s on the other side of the country.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not.”

    Me: “Yes, it’s in Louisiana.”

    Customer: *getting mad* “Well, I’m from Houston and I’d be pretty pissed off if I went all this way for nothing!”

    Me: “Wait…if you wanted to go to New Orleans, why did you take a plane to Los Angeles?”

    Customer: “Because I’ve been wanting to visit my old pen pal for awhile to surprise him. Every time I send him a letter, I write ‘New Orleans, LA’ on the envelope. That’s L.A.! That’s where I am, and I know you’re lying!”

    Related:
    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 3
    Make Benefit Glorious Guestlogisticstan
    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 2
    The Great State Of Confusion
    The Great State Of Ignorance

    Cinnabonkers For Cinnamon

    | Boston, MA, USA | Food & Drink, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (There is a flight leaving our airport over an hour later than expected. My department is trying to re-direct passengers to other connecting flights, or reschedule flights they may miss because of the delay. An Irish woman, around 50, approaches the counter.)

    Me: “I apologize for the delay. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Hello, young man. I must say this delayed flight to Charlotte is unacceptable. I have a connector to Dublin I will need to be on ten minutes after this delayed flight lands. How do you expect me to make it in ten minutes?!”

    Me: “I do apologize for the inconvenience. If you give me a couple of minutes, I can check and see how I can re-route you.” *begins searching* “Ma’am, I do have a direct flight from this airport to Dublin, leaving in about two hours. That will put you in Dublin a couple of hours ahead of schedule.”

    Customer: “So I won’t go to Charlotte?”

    Me: “No, you won’t. And due to the inconvenience, there will be no extra charge for moving you to the direct flight.”

    Customer: “So I won’t go to Charlotte?”

    Me: “No, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “Ma’am, if I send you on this flight to Charlotte, you won’t have time to make the connector to Dublin. However, if I put you on the flight I’m talking about—”

    Customer: “The one that won’t have me going to Charlotte?”

    Me: “Yes, that one. If I put you on—”

    Customer: “But I want to go to Charlotte.”

    Me: “Let me check and see when the next flight from Charlotte to Dublin is.” *searching* “I have a flight leaving for Dublin tomorrow morning at 6:47 AM. That will put you in Dublin at around 7:00 PM at their local time, almost 24 hours later than if you just—”

    Customer: “I’ll take it!”

    Me: “May I ask why you would rather stay the night here in Boston than take this direct flight I’m offering you?”

    Customer: “The Charlotte airport has a Cinnabon.”

    Page 31/46First...2930313233...Last